As a guest, what's the stingiest thing you've ever experienced?

[Marssuri]

Just that!
I'll start

I invited friends for dinner at mine. I made traditional dishes from where I'm from, sausage rougail, chicken cari and dessert.

A few days later they text me telling me to come to theirs for some food at dinner time.

I show up and bring a small jar of chilli peppers. One of the people who invited me goes "is that all you're going to eat?". I was confused and asked what they meant. They replied "It's everyone brings their own food."
I told them I thought they had invited me for dinner and they go "yes, we invited you to come to the house for dinner!".
They saw my face and said "don't worry, we can share some food with you!" before cutting a couple of raw carrots, aubergines, cherry tomatoes with some white sauce and putting them in the middle of the table.
They then served each other the meal they had made for themselves and digged in.

Note from MNHQ - we've had lots of nominations for this thread to be moved over to Mumsnet Classics and, as we're very generous hosts, we've done exactly this.

Was seeing someone and we hadn't been together long. He invited me to a family wedding. Because he was in the wedding party he was staying at the venue, I was invited to stay at his the night before, so I brought the drinks he said his family liked. Brought an expensive wedding outfit. At the wedding I brought drinks for his family and then the next day after the wedding breakfast went back to his parents with him. In the afternoon his mum said she'd go to mc Donald's and then asked for the money for everyone's individual orders. I was only 19, worked part time on NMW while I studied. The weekend had wiped me out.

I gave the money.

They lived in a lovely big house.

The relationship didn't last long after that lol.

8 year old story very sad.

Also the cousin story, waiting for the ice cubes to melt for a drink. S/he was only a child, hope they usually got more but it doesn't sound like it

Ex H had a friend who would always be in the loo for his round. So we started getting rounds in when he was gone and leaving him out "Oh, we thought you had left.....while you are there can you get me a (insert expensive drink here)" like he would do to us.

He wanted everything his own way but didnt want to pay for it. He even kicked off and refused to attend our wedding because we wouldnt change the entire menu to suit him. I didnt care, thought he was a prick from the first day I met him but ex and the others kept in touch out of some sort of belief that because they had known each other years, they should "oh thats just Nick....". I dont think any of them are in touch anymore because me and the other guys partners wouldnt put up with him and they finally reaslised that they didnt have to keep subbing a guy that out earned them times ten!

He didnt even have a good personality that (rarely) can make it worthwhile, he was a whinging miserable arsehole who could kill a party at 500 yards.

MIL and BIL over for Christmas lunch (3rd time, never have I had a meal at hers in 12 years of marriage to her son). I’ve said I’ll do all the food but imagine they may bring a bottle, but no, not a bottle, a box of chocolates or any gift. I just couldn’t imagine have a three course meal and drinks and turning up without even a token gift on Christmas Day. They can wait another few years for the next invite to repeat the process!

Being rude appears to come as naturally to you as it does my mother in law.

A recent wedding. Asian wedding. A dry one so no booze.
plenty of food as part of the package. but the bride’s mother insisted on taking all of the remaining food as she’d paid towards it. Despite the fact that there was enough to feed an army left and the groom and his family had paid for everything else.
She also got 2 tray cakes from costco and stood guard when it was being dished out- slithers of slices.
once she moved away the portions got bigger and she was pissed that there was only half of each massive cake left. Considering there were around 50 people. There should have been no cake left!

Talking about wine with a meal ettiquette I (think) have found a middle way.

"I have X for the meal, or would you prefer a glass of the wine you bought?" then they either say yes or "no thats for you"....sorted.

Although that was some years ago, now I only do meals with my parents, kids and sister and her DH. So we all bring what we want, plus "This is for the table!" and we all get stuck in. The "for the table" bottle is usually something fizzy that gets opened when we are all clattered and have run out of our chosen tipple! Then we take home what we havent finished (which almost never happens!) as we all like different things. Far better than the old days of dinner parties and worries about ettiquette.

I recommend doing meals with people I love and trust and with whom I know there is an understanding of no one taking the piss. My sisters (then) best friend joined us once as my mother felt sorry for her. Her, her husband and their three kids practically ate the entire takeaway menu, paid not a penny (we always split it and exBF was told that before they came) and then COMPLAINED that the kids hadnt been offered pudding and called my parents stingy, after my father had paid £££ for their food. I went batshit, sister never spoke to them again.

They went to Orlando 2 years running during their time knowing Dsis, but pleaded poverty the whole time. One of the kids gave them away that night.

I've marked my place and need to catch up, but mines similar to others, been friends with my 'best' friend for years, cooked for her loads, then her and her husband for dinner and then with their child. They'd turn up with bottle at the most, go home with leftovers, I never minded. They invited us to them, but said 'it'll be takeaway' that's fine, we get handed a menu to order, we don't go wild, 2 pizzas between the 3 of us, food arrives, they ask us for 'our share'
The most ridiculous thing is we've had them here since. I'm a total mug.

Went to a BBQ hosted by an old friend of DH. To be fair, I'd never been keen on this guy and his wife, they were just very weird. And very good at showing off about money.

Anyway, the made a huge song and dance about how much meat they'd bought, how much food in general. Then when it came to it, we got one burned sausage and one burned beef burger each. The kids who were there were given a bag of crisps.

The other crazy thing was, his family had been invited and clearly didn't want to be there, the were hostile to each other all night.

When a braver guest asked about another round of BBQ, he was told "you've had your share". We were all meant to be there all evening and night, by 5pm we had apparently had the food!

We left and immediately stopped at a chippie.
Because we left, this idiot slagged DH off for being ungrateful! Never spoken to him again. For the record, we didn't leave because we were starving, we left due to the atmosphere, but said it was due to having work the next day.

Strange all round!

First Xmas at our house as young couple. Having heard a morning radio host mercilessly mock Ferrero Rocher chocolates as most naff gift ever … we giggled when best couple friends brought and presented us a large Ferrero Rocher pyramid.
Shocked later to see them leaving early and take the unopened pyramid with them hidden beneath an overcoat.

Naff is as naff does !!!
20 yrs later we still laugh at Ferrero Rocher remembering that big pyramid that we never got.

Ex boyfriend very quickly, I hope?

No definitely not expecting a meal. I was pretty mortified that we ended up overstaying and very apologetic but also pretty upset that no food or drink at all was available for my two small children. I would always offer a visitor a cup of tea or coffee but I know not everyone is the same from this thread.

They will be the posters on MN who say "I have said absolutely no visitors for the first three weeks so we can bond as our new little family" and are then surprised that the grandparents they shut out are not falling over themselves to provide free babysitting.

Stingy doesnt just apply to money.....

While I was travelling around the North-East of Brazil, I met a German guy who'd been floating around the country for several months. After a couple of weeks chatting with him, I gathered that he had a 'relationship' with a Brazilian girl in each place he stopped at - nothing too unusual there - and stayed with their families. Okay, but these were not well-off people; they were the kind of families who'd kill a chicken for a guest, then have to do without meat for the rest of the week.

He apparently had a very small amount of funds coming in each month, insufficient to pay for accommodation. The Brazilian families understood very small funds all too well, so would bend over backwards to make him comfortable for weeks at a time. Slightly suspicious, I pressed for more information.

He was on a paid 12-month sabbatical. The reason for the very small funds was that he was getting most of his salary for the year paid into his massive pension fund - he bragged about the luxurious retirement he looked forward to - while shamelessly exploiting the hospitality (and bodies) of people on the breadline. He knew the English word "freeloader" and didn't consider it an insult, looking rather smugly pleased with himself.

That was 30 years ago, and I still feel outrage when I think about the selfish cunt.

No they are not. Decent people are not tight.

Waste of air 🤢

I just hope that then he came back he got married, because I am loving imagining his face when his {(now ex) wife got awarded half of his pension in the divorce!

Slightly of topic but a true story.
DSis was starting a six month job abroad. She was renting and didn’t want to waste money on rent while abroad so packed up her flat and distributed her boxes and belongings around a few friends then drove up to our house with a car full of boxes to store in our spare room.
The following day I dropped her at the airport (2hr round trip). She had asked if we could take her car to my parent’s house ( 100 miles away). She knew we were visiting my other sister the following weekend and DP’s house was sort of on the way. She’s always been good at organising everyone else.
We were more than happy to help.

Anyway I jumped in her car the following week only to find no fuel in the tank.
So not only did I agree to store a car full of boxes, drive her to the airport, and no she didn’t offer any petrol money, I also had to fill her car up and then drive it to DP’s.
I don’t remember her ever thanking us or even bringing us anything from her travels.

She has frequently introduced me to friends as her rich sister. I take offence since she probably has far more than we do since we are generous with our money. She has also been very flaky with Christmas and birthday gifts for DS, and will often brag about the gifts she has bought my nieces while failing to remember DS.
I have just sent her a beautiful piece of jewellery for her birthday just to embarrass her, although I doubt it will. She hasn’t bought me a gift for years but this year is a big birthday so maybe she will break with tradition.

I said earlier up thread that I dont know any stingy people , but I have to admit hating visiting my late MIL

Dont get me wrong, we had a great relationship, short, but we got along the best

She was very old school. Set times for everything.. The type of grandmother you took the grandkids to visit for two hours on a Sunday IYKWIM, you didnt just pop in

So she was a two hour drive from us. We would say we were coming up to see the kids/grandkids and would call in - all fine or we would be up to visit her and do a few jobs about the house on such and such - all fine

Im the type that puts the kettle on whilst greeting visitors. She was the type well lunch is at 1pm, tea is at 4pm so it was very common to be there 3 hours before being offered a cuppa -after a two hour drive. Mind the cake box would also come out and she would have baked for us, not stingy, just set in her ways

Funnily enough, her three daughters are the exact same. Very generous, very hospitable , but meals and tea are served at certain times and the kettle just doesn't go on in between times. The one SIL we see regularly now knows to put the kettle on ( well tap in her case) as we walk in but when they come to us, even though they have the same drive time as us, they are happy to sit and wait for a meal time

Luckily the BIL is married to someone more like us, we stay with each other and treat each others homes like our own, if the kettle isnt on in a timely manner then we put it on ourselves :)

Our own wedding - we paid friends to help set up/serve the food in a village hall reception, and we’d bought plenty of bottles of fizz and cake to be given out after the ceremony while we had the photos done, to keep people going until the buffet was served. Had been to enough weddings while guests stood around starving for hours, and didn’t want that for ours.

Anyway, we went back the next day to tidy up and found loads of the bottles of fizz unopened, the friends had obviously decided the guests who were drinking should only have one glass each. The total antithesis of us trying to be generous hosts. Ffs, if we’d have known any was left over we’d have served them with the buffet! (We overcatered, we had loads left over. )

Hell's bells, @nonumbersinthisname, your friends were stingy on your behalf?! How embarrassing 😳

Well done for at least trying to fill the gap, btw. I stopped going to weddings with a long space between service and reception, following two awkward experiences. At one, we all went down the pub for the 5 hour interval, meaning the majority of guests turned up pissed and not perfectly behaved. I can't actually remember the second half of the day! The other was a wedding in a remote castle, so no pub. We got one glass of champagne while the photos were done, which did nothing to ease the pain of standing around in a freezing field for 3 bloody hours. The bridal party then retired to their suite in the castle and we were allowed indoors - to hang around for another hour, still without refreshments.

Neither was stingy, it was just unforgivably poor planning.

Oh dear, @Wineatfiveisfine. Now I don't feel too bad about being wasted at my friend's wedding breakfast! I trust he wasn't your assistant for much longer?

My daughter once went to a birthday party where the only food that was served was a small tub of homemade hummus and a handful of carrot sticks for everyone to share. Strange (hosts were wealthy Americans)