As a guest, what's the stingiest thing you've ever experienced?

[Marssuri]

Just that!
I'll start

I invited friends for dinner at mine. I made traditional dishes from where I'm from, sausage rougail, chicken cari and dessert.

A few days later they text me telling me to come to theirs for some food at dinner time.

I show up and bring a small jar of chilli peppers. One of the people who invited me goes "is that all you're going to eat?". I was confused and asked what they meant. They replied "It's everyone brings their own food."
I told them I thought they had invited me for dinner and they go "yes, we invited you to come to the house for dinner!".
They saw my face and said "don't worry, we can share some food with you!" before cutting a couple of raw carrots, aubergines, cherry tomatoes with some white sauce and putting them in the middle of the table.
They then served each other the meal they had made for themselves and digged in.

Note from MNHQ - we've had lots of nominations for this thread to be moved over to Mumsnet Classics and, as we're very generous hosts, we've done exactly this.

This has reminded me of going to a Hilton Doubletree – at check-in, the guy, beaming, said with a flourish, “…And here is your freshly baked cookie!”

I replied, “oh, thank you that is so kind, but I am gluten-free.”

The fake smile immediately disappeared, he snatched the cookie and slammed it in the warming drawer and said, “lifts are over there.”

There was a massive bowl of fruit behind him – I mean, why not offer a banana, or at least not retract the smile?

nothing redeems meanness

I find that awkward as they may feel obliged to then drink their own and not yours. I assume wine is a gift, and offer my own.

I was staying the weekend at my mum’s and we were going to have scrambled eggs for breakfast. She took them all out the box and weighed each one individually before passing me the two smallest, saying the other four were for her and my brother because ‘I didn’t live there any more’.

I am very fond of DHs brother and his wife but my God they are the laziest, tightest people I know.

We live about 4 hours from them in a holiday area and when their son was little they would often come in the summer as they said they couldn't afford to go away. Fair enough. But, if they were here over a weekend they never got up until about 11.00 and we ended up having to entertain a toddler and give him some breakfast.

The last time they came they asked if a friend of our nephew (about 13 by then) could come as company for him. No problem. So we had four people for 5 days. Not once did anyone offer to help with food prep or clearing up (because they were on holiday, although SIL didn't work). We were both working about 48 hours a weeks at the time and were knackered. We went out all together twice to eat and we ended up paying for it all. They arrived without so much as a box of chocs or a bunch of garage flowers. We paid for all the food and drink consumed at home.

These days they don't come as SIL won't leave her elderly dog but we have stayed with them overnight a couple of times as all the rest of our family live in the same area. DH is coeliac so she always asks if we can bring his bread/food as "as GF is so expensive and she doesn't understand it!!". We always take them out for a meal as a thank you and I take flowers. Last time nephew and his girlfriend asked if they could come as well so BIL amazingly said we should split the bill. Bearing in mind we would have paid a share of nephew's and girlfriend's meals SIL whispered to BIL that we should pay more because I had a glass of wine and she only had a soft drink!

Later, when we went to bed I noticed that a bit of silver paper I had dropped on a previous visit, 9 months before, was still on the carpet. Next morning I said how comfortable the bed was. She brazenly said that her sister had stayed the week before and she hoped we didn't mind but as her sister had showered before she went to bed she didn't think the sheets needed changing!

So, no housework done, we bought DH's food with us and all they had to supply me with was one cheese roll for tea, no cake or anything, because we were taking them out to lunch. When we left at 11.30 the following morning she still wasn't up.

When I think of all the meals I've cooked and effort I've gone to for them over the years and the meals out we have bought for them, to be rewarded with a cheese roll. I think next time we go, for the sake of my blood pressure,I would rather stay in an hotel.

PS, they are not hard up at all these days.

I get what you’re saying but there’s nothing worse than bringing a lovely bottle of something and getting stuck with the host’s Echo Falls 😂I always offer a choice and my guests know me well enough to ask for what they’d prefer! There’s always plenty of wine so it’s just a case of which one

@DelilahJane and you let her away with that?aye righto

On the wine thing - I bring wine for us to drink, usually dh will also bring a nice selection of ales as well and we’ll bring the host a gift chocolates or flowers. If they open our wine or not that’s ok.

Picking up on the wedding theme I agree with many posters that the worst weddings I have been to have been in the "poshest" venues.

My theory is that people have this vision of their wedding and think people will remember the destination and that's where they put their money and as costs mount they compromise on the food/drink. The reality of course is that the guests don't remember the posh marble fireplace/sweeping staircase etc. They just remember they spent the day parched/ hungry and incredibly irritated in return for what they spent on wedding gifts/travel/outfits etc.

The very best wedding I went to was to was that of a uni friend. She and her boyfriend had an unplanned (but happy) pregnancy and got married straight after uni. They were just starting out so didn't have much £.

However her mum's sister had married a farmer and she was really close to her aunt/uncle and they offered to host the wedding for her.

It was very much a DIY affair. They'd cleaned out one of the barns and decorated it with fairy lights. Hay bales round the edges to sit on. Entertainment was a local folk group and then in the evening a proper barn dance with fiddlers and all the moves being called out.

Then the food....tables heaving with homemade food her aunt and her friends had made over the previous few days in their farm kitchens. All produce from local farms. Think multiple home baked hams, chutneys, salads, sides, bread, cheese, cakes, scones with homemade jam and clotted cream etc.

Honestly it was incredible - a real feast and enough to feed everyone huge portions and then some.

Plus they'd got in big kegs of beer and set up a bar serving other drinks (all free).

Hands down the best wedding reception ever and bet it cost a fraction of some others I've been to but it's the one 20 years later we all still have very fond memories of.

Was once invited to spend Christmas with inlaws, so MIL could have rare Christmas with all 4 children together. We had to pay for our accommodation (in laws managed a caravan park). Fair enough. It soon became apparent though MIL had not planned the Christmas menu nor bought any food etc. Who did? Yep, DH & I. No thanks or contributions from anyone. First & only time we've been for Christmas.

Oh and in the early years of marriage we once had people over & DH declares it's dinner time, his shout. He ordered 2 pizzas for 6 adults & 3 kids! No sides. I was mortified (& ordered more)! Luckily I have since corrected his tight behaviour. Some people just either have no idea or are bought up with zero manners!

I had a colleague who I got on well with, and I invited her home for dinner several times. She never brought anything with her, but she was junior to me and earned less, so although I thought it was a bit mean it wasn't a big deal. Eventually she reciprocated and invited me to hers for dinner. When I arrived, nice bottle of wine in hand, she said she hadn't had time to cook anything, and we could order a takeaway. She even hinted that I should pay for it (which I didn't, we went halves). We stayed friends, but I stopped inviting her over.

She brazenly said that her sister had stayed the week before and she hoped we didn't mind but as her sister had showered before she went to bed she didn't think the sheets needed changing!

We had similar. Stayed with friends for a weekend and the wife said 'Oh, A & B stayed last weekend, you don't mind if the sheets aren't changed, do you?'. I said that yes, actually I minded very much. There was an awkward pause and her sons were sent to change the bedding.

That sounds magnificent I agree, events like that can be far more memorable (in the right way!) than fancy-schmancy ones.

One of my friends is mean, after cooking all day , she’ll arrived with the cheapest bottle of wine in the supermarket- she’ll even boast about how cheap it is. Her meanest annoys me so much - I just do walks with her now, I really hate mean behaviour

Did you stop hosting them / going over? How did they react?

To help out a friend I would do my 12 hour shift then go to hers as it was round the corner from my work to babysit for her and her husband so they could go to quiz night at the local pub.

They were having a rough time of it.

Anyway, I did this for a few weeks.
My job was really heavy duty, stressful, busy and I never had time to eat. ( she knew this)

Each week I’d arrive to them stuffing down a Dominoes pizza each. Large.
They would put the empty boxes down on the floor in front of them, step over them and go off to quiz night.

Zero offer of a drink, piece of pizza, nothing at all.
Returning at midnight.
I would drag myself home starving & knackered.

Made excuses after that. Still friends but from a distance.

I would have done exactly that too.

When I worked as a teacher, I was invited round to an old colleague's house for dinner. She had moved on from our school not long before and wanted to keep in touch with her old colleagues. We weren't close friends, but I I thought "why not?" and accepted the invite. Went there after the day at work. I had been up since 6:15am, run around the school all day long and had had a 15 minute lunch break at 11am. Arrived there at 6pm and she greeted me at the door with the news that they had had a surprise buffet lunch at her new school so she wasn't hungry, and instead of making dinner, she had decided to defrost muffins instead. So instead of a proper dinner after a busy day at work, I got one single muffin.

I was stupid enough to go back a second time. This time she greeted me at the door with the news that they had French exchange students at the school that week and she had invited the teachers back to hers for dinner, and she thought I would be fine about it as I had French A level. I do have a French A level, but from about 20 years ago. So I suddenly had to try to speak French to these strangers for an evening, while my ex-colleague sat in her office doing "admin". The dinner was also minute. We got half a chicken breast, one potato and stick of broccoli each. I was embarrassed that the visiting French teachers would think that this was what hospitality was like where we lived.

I haven't been back for dinner since.

Not my dc but a friend's about 10 went to another kid's after school, both kids had been in a swimming gala, so were starving. The nanny, who was in charge, made pasta for the host child and sibling and nothing for friend's dc who had to sit and watch them eat. Eventually she was so hungry she asked for food and was told her mum would be there in a minute, so couldnt' she wait?

Lol! Point taken. I am actually an excellent host and excellent cook - I just don't do roasties (and wouldn't cook a roast if I had guests, that's a bit basic to me).

My FIL is a terrible host. He watches like a hawk how much guests put on their plates and complains if he thinks it us too much.

The best example is when we stayed overnight with them and were having breakfast in the morning, there was a plate of toast on the table everyone was helping themselves to. My son took the last piece and started eating it. My FIL loudly said ‘I wanted that piece’ and sulked for the rest of the meal. My son was 18 months old at the time.

And there was plenty of bread to make more toast.

Why do you accept? They sound like cheeky fuckers.

Did your ex never ask for a proper meal for you? He sounds like a nob. Did you say anything to him?

We visited my brother and his wife to see their new baby on a day they specified several weeks after the birth along with my mum and dad. It was made clear to us in advance that they wouldn't provide any food or offer us any drinks. We had all had a 2 hour plus drive. To see my dad sitting in their kitchen eating a sandwich bought from a service station really boiled my blood and my mum apologetically asking if she could use their kettle! It got worse. DH was attending a work event near to them on the same day which should have lasted only about an hour. It was unexpectedly extended so I was stuck there with two small children and no access to food. It was so uncomfortable. At a certain point DB started cooking for and feeding their child without offering anything to my children. I was calling and texting DH like mad saying please come back now! Of course he thought I was being mental. They lived in a very residential area and there didn't seem to be any local shops. Looking back I should just have called out their weirdness/ rudeness but I didn't. I have never mentioned it to my brother but I've never forgotten it - and not forgiven it either.

Dn had a swimming party one birthday.
Dd was invited.
After the swimming the dc were all taken to the cafe and given one drink and a bag of crisps each.
I was mortified on dbil and dsil’s behalf.

We then went back to dbil’s house and had a hot meal. All I could think was those poor kids must have been starving.