Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

As a guest, what's the stingiest thing you've ever experienced?

1000 replies

Marssuri · 28/03/2024 16:01

Just that!
I'll start

I invited friends for dinner at mine. I made traditional dishes from where I'm from, sausage rougail, chicken cari and dessert.

A few days later they text me telling me to come to theirs for some food at dinner time.

I show up and bring a small jar of chilli peppers. One of the people who invited me goes "is that all you're going to eat?". I was confused and asked what they meant. They replied "It's everyone brings their own food."
I told them I thought they had invited me for dinner and they go "yes, we invited you to come to the house for dinner!".
They saw my face and said "don't worry, we can share some food with you!" before cutting a couple of raw carrots, aubergines, cherry tomatoes with some white sauce and putting them in the middle of the table.
They then served each other the meal they had made for themselves and digged in.

Note from MNHQ - we've had lots of nominations for this thread to be moved over to Mumsnet Classics and, as we're very generous hosts, we've done exactly this.

OP posts:
2024theplot · 29/03/2024 10:37

RaraRachael · 29/03/2024 10:14

My mother and i were staying with my sister and her husband (who is the meanest person we know). She commented that we were using too much toilet paper and that we were only allowed to use 2 sheets per visit. If we used more than that, we'd have to buy our own.

Needless to say, we never visited again!

This reminds me of a time I stayed at a friend's. The whole friendship group was invited to stay for the weekend, the first night we guests paid for a takeaway to thank the host for hosting. We had also brought snacks and drinks, and we had plans out for every meal time so weren't being hosted in that sense.
I arrived first and went to the loo, the only loo roll was an unopened 2 pack next to the loo, I opened it and put one on the loo roll holder. All in all, there was 12 of us there from Friday day time to Sunday afternoon.
The loo roll ran out Saturday and someone asked the host if there was any more, or if one of us should pop to the shops for some (cue plenty of volunteers to pop out for loo roll and any other essentials). The host insisted that she had stocked up on loo roll and there was loads, we must be overlooking the new packet. The host even went to check the bathroom. I said I had opened the small 2 pack that was in there on Friday, and the host was incredulous that this could have been used up and said she'd expected it to last a couple of weeks even with 11 houseguests for the weekend. Really made me wonder how much loo roll she uses!

Popworks · 29/03/2024 10:38

When I was about 8 or 9, i was invited to my first sleepover at a friend's house. I was so excited. My mum told me to remember that different families do different things, and that I should try my best to eat what I was offered, even if it was unfamiliar, and that I must be polite. I was a very polite, sensible, shy child so that was fine.

Her mum picked us from school - so was well aware that I hadn't eaten my evening meal. We played quite happily in her bedroom until about 6.30pm when her mum knocked on the door. "Friend, come downstairs now". She said to me to wait there and that my friend would be back in ten or fifteen minutes. I was actually a bit worried as her mum sounded stern and I thought my friend was in trouble. She came back and i could smell food on her. I remember feeling so awkward and unsure, but we carried on playing until, after ten mins or so, I asked when we would be having dinner. My friend wouldn't look at me, but just said "we already have". I just was too shy to argue back that I was hungry, but I thought I'd be OK as surely they would give me something before bedtime - in my family, we would always have some weetabix or toast or a couple of biscuits a little before bedtime, if we were hungry. But a few hours later, her mum told us to go to bed - no food offered. I remember lying there, trying to go to sleep (on a thin camping mattress with an itchy blanket - they were as ungenerous with comforts as they were with food!) with my stomach growling, feeling so confused.

I woke up, sick with hunger, at about 4.30am and laid there until my friend woke up about 7 ish. Finally, at about 7.30, her dad called up "Time for breakfast". I remember feeling SO relieved. We walked downstairs and her dad stopped me at the bottom. He was a tall, deep voiced man and he scared me a bit. "You'll be home soon enough, you don't need anything". I remember them watching as I walked back up the stairs and I just didn't dare say "but I'm hungry". They also told me that I didn't need to brush my teeth as I had done it last night - maybe saving toothpaste?

Eventually my mum picked me up, as arranged, I think about 10.30 or 11am. I politely thanked them on the door step, as I knew I had to do, and I got in the car with my mum. I don't think we even had driven out of their street before I burst into sobs and told my mum how hungry I was, having not eaten since my school dinner the day before. I don't think I had ever seen my mum so furious. She spun the car around and marched back to their house, before hammering on the door. I don't know what was said - I was still I the car and it was far enough that I could only hear raised voices - but she never spoke to them again and I suspect she told a lot of people, as I remember other children asking me about it, so presumably had heard from their parents.

I do have a positive memory from it though; after my mum had yelled at them, she drove me to the supermarket and told me to pick anything I wanted for lunch. I chose a heinz cheese and bean pizza, which new to the shelves (showing my age there!) and an apple cream cake, so I felt incredibly spoilt. I still can't believe though that anyone would leave a child to go hungry whilst feeding themselves.

RaraRachael · 29/03/2024 10:44

Also on the subject of toilets along with the toilet roll restrictions, we were toilet not to poo in the downstairs toilet - that was only for pees. I pointed out that sometimes you can't tell what's going to happen but was told to hold it in!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

WaitingforCheese · 29/03/2024 10:45

I have another. Friends hen do and we all stayed at her parents, like 10 of us.
Next morning we were hanging in the living room and bride came in with 4 pieces of toast and a cup of tea, for herself.
Eventually her dad came in and said what about the others and she was ‘no why would they be hungry?’. He made us drinks and toast.
I didn’t realise until I then stayed with her a few times that in 3 days she expected me to not eat or have a shower the entire time because when we weee students I went home for a shower and often brought me own food.

Iwasafool · 29/03/2024 10:48

Redlarge · 28/03/2024 20:56

He should have shopped for food and wine. No wonder hes an ex. He embarrassed you.

Well yes he should particularly as he was a supermarket manager and arrived home with precisely nothing. They closed early so he was home hours before me, I arrived to find the early arrivals had beaten me to it. He's lucky it was divorce and not murder.

AnybodyAnywhere · 29/03/2024 10:48

Many years ago my Aunt, mother’s sister, was visiting from Australia. I drove to Heathrow, waited about 4 hours for Aunt’s delayed flight so cost a fortune in parking, drove Aunt to Mother’s house - nearly 150 miles round trip.

Got to Mother’s and after greetings and a cup of tea mother said to sit down for lunch, I was starving as I’d set out at 4am. Mother came in with 2 plates of wonderful smelling chicken casserole, one for Aunt and one for Mother, looked at me and said ‘I didn’t make anything for you, if you’re hungry you’d better go and get some chips or something.

My Aunt is now 97 and has dementia but she still remembers and always tells the story to visitors if my name gets mentioned.

toomanyy · 29/03/2024 10:50

Londontown12 · 28/03/2024 18:20

we was invited for dinner at my dad and his partners house !
Because we know how stingy and slow it took her faffing with the food and having 2 hungry teenagers we came up with this idea 💡
we will pop into the local chippy and bring dinner so we can all eat and enjoy so no one has to cook !
Anyways we handed over all the chips and sausages fish ect ! Dad’s partner dishes them up and we had teeny tiny portions she had rewrapped the chips and put them in the oven !! Like wtaf we paid and bought it with us cheeky cow !!
so for revenge I had a birthday cake made for her bday and normally I’d let her take home any that was left but no I thought u can have a teeny slice and u not taking it I put it away 😂😂😂😂 petty but felt so bloody good !!!

Good! How did she react?

Iwasafool · 29/03/2024 10:53

Popworks · 29/03/2024 10:38

When I was about 8 or 9, i was invited to my first sleepover at a friend's house. I was so excited. My mum told me to remember that different families do different things, and that I should try my best to eat what I was offered, even if it was unfamiliar, and that I must be polite. I was a very polite, sensible, shy child so that was fine.

Her mum picked us from school - so was well aware that I hadn't eaten my evening meal. We played quite happily in her bedroom until about 6.30pm when her mum knocked on the door. "Friend, come downstairs now". She said to me to wait there and that my friend would be back in ten or fifteen minutes. I was actually a bit worried as her mum sounded stern and I thought my friend was in trouble. She came back and i could smell food on her. I remember feeling so awkward and unsure, but we carried on playing until, after ten mins or so, I asked when we would be having dinner. My friend wouldn't look at me, but just said "we already have". I just was too shy to argue back that I was hungry, but I thought I'd be OK as surely they would give me something before bedtime - in my family, we would always have some weetabix or toast or a couple of biscuits a little before bedtime, if we were hungry. But a few hours later, her mum told us to go to bed - no food offered. I remember lying there, trying to go to sleep (on a thin camping mattress with an itchy blanket - they were as ungenerous with comforts as they were with food!) with my stomach growling, feeling so confused.

I woke up, sick with hunger, at about 4.30am and laid there until my friend woke up about 7 ish. Finally, at about 7.30, her dad called up "Time for breakfast". I remember feeling SO relieved. We walked downstairs and her dad stopped me at the bottom. He was a tall, deep voiced man and he scared me a bit. "You'll be home soon enough, you don't need anything". I remember them watching as I walked back up the stairs and I just didn't dare say "but I'm hungry". They also told me that I didn't need to brush my teeth as I had done it last night - maybe saving toothpaste?

Eventually my mum picked me up, as arranged, I think about 10.30 or 11am. I politely thanked them on the door step, as I knew I had to do, and I got in the car with my mum. I don't think we even had driven out of their street before I burst into sobs and told my mum how hungry I was, having not eaten since my school dinner the day before. I don't think I had ever seen my mum so furious. She spun the car around and marched back to their house, before hammering on the door. I don't know what was said - I was still I the car and it was far enough that I could only hear raised voices - but she never spoke to them again and I suspect she told a lot of people, as I remember other children asking me about it, so presumably had heard from their parents.

I do have a positive memory from it though; after my mum had yelled at them, she drove me to the supermarket and told me to pick anything I wanted for lunch. I chose a heinz cheese and bean pizza, which new to the shelves (showing my age there!) and an apple cream cake, so I felt incredibly spoilt. I still can't believe though that anyone would leave a child to go hungry whilst feeding themselves.

I think that wins. I could cry for 8 year old you.

toomanyy · 29/03/2024 10:54

LanahLane · 28/03/2024 18:26

I'm the ‘one mince pie’ poster above, sadly no exaggeration.

Why did we sit there?..

  • Not to embarrass my parents infront of other guests
  • It was Christmas and despite the food (or lack of) we were having a nice chat
  • My DM would have gone on the attack and made the day awful, likely turning this somehow into being my fault.

I try and model, when they come to me, I provide loads of food, hoping they will see how to be generous. They are just not.

Time to stop being generous. They don’t deserve it.

toomanyy · 29/03/2024 10:57

TobarnanGealt · 28/03/2024 18:29

It's a guesthouse, not your friends' house. Some of them have tea and coffee making facilities, some don't. It's not a hotel. The landlady was just warning you that there weren't tea-making facilities in your rooms. Or are you suggesting tat if you arrived mid-afternoon in a Birmingham BnB, you would be greeted with a full afternoon tea?

She hasn’t suggested that at all. I don’t need a daily cuppa but even I would be very surprised by this.

Agentdanascullyx · 29/03/2024 10:59

I remember been 19 and told by a friend that her other friends had told me to go to the house party with her,( we were in the pub at the time and I’d paid for all her drinks) didn’t know anyone but I said ok. Got there and it was can we have the £15 towards the beer? I handed over my £15 been too shy to say no. Turned out they were all skint and it was me who was buying the beer, no I didn’t get offered a single beer. The friends brother walked in laughed at me and said ‘agent you are a proper knob for paying’ then laughed at me hysterically. Never went out with her again

deeplyspanish · 29/03/2024 10:59

We have friends that we have known for a long time, often visit each other for bbqs and fun days with the kids. Very well off but notoriously tight.

They came to us for lunch on the beach, then a bbq. Turned up with 1 out of date quiche to eat on the beach, so promptly ate all our lunch food. Bought nothing for the bbq but went away very full of food and booze.

Month later, they hosted. Was messaged on route to say they'd already been out to get their own lunch, so we'd need to stop to get our own. Fine. Had planned a bbq tea, but the only food they had in was 6 sausages they found in the back of the freezer and some bread rolls (there are 10 of us in total). Fortunately, I bought stuff, so once again, I fed everyone. The husband poured me a glass of wine, which the wife went mad about, and the wine was promptly removed from the kitchen. I then had a week of passive-aggressive messages about how I drank all her expensive wine and how she wanted a discount on the work DH was doing for her. Unbelievable. Not seen them since.

Octavia64 · 29/03/2024 10:59

For people asking why you don't challenge the stingy people:

We used to do weekends away with PIL and DH's brother and sister and their partners and kids.

Each person would take turns hosting and we'd all chip in for the accommodation and food, but one couple were responsible for cooking/booking it.

One year PIL were hosting. They'd been shopping and spent the kitty. Everyone knew they were stingy so we'd all brought extra food anyway.

The Saturday evening after being out doing the activity, MIL was tired. So she sorted out food for the children first so they could eat and go to bed. Fine.

Then she was too tired to cook for the adults. We'd brought our own drinks (they were always very stingy with drinks as well) so we started drinking.

Me and my then H had run out of extra food by that point because the kids were eating it all. So I was drinking on an empty stomach.

I went into to kitchen and said to MIL "I'm hungry, I'm going to make a cheese sandwich".

She then said "it's fine, don't worry, I'm starting cooking".

Then about two minutes later FIL came in and started shouting at me. Apparently I'd made MIL cry, I was disrespectful, I was nasty, etc etc.

He scared me so much I actually ran out of the cottage into the night because I thought he was going to physically assault me.

My then H then had a massive go at his dad, saying how shit they were and that we needed feeding.

When I calmed down and came back to the cottage all the grandchildren had been woken up by the massive multiple way row that was going on.

We left. With our kids. It was several months before ExH saw them again and years before I did.

CHEESEY13 · 29/03/2024 11:00

Stingy? There is a certain private care home in Preston that I was stuffed into by a Social Worker during the Pandemic to stop me being a 'bed blocker', as I was informed I couldn't be left alone. Why?I dunno!
The cost-cutting stingy cheese-paring economies that went on were horrifying - 814 quid a week - and I had to get friends to buy loo paper for moi!

I am given to believe that £814 is pretty cheap.......

Theseventhmagpie · 29/03/2024 11:00

JeanMarie · 29/03/2024 07:36

Many years ago my then bf and I were invited to his friends house for his birthday party. Not really knowing this friend I asked my bf should I bring anything....wine, nibbles etc. He assured me there would be plenty of food and we just brought a few bottles of wine. When we arrived the party was in full swing ....music playing, drinks flowing but not one bite of food. The host had a rather large dog that was enjoying getting fussed over and he was telling everyone that the vet had put it on a diet and all it was eating was these dried pellets of dog food. I had remarked to my bf that at least the dog was getting fed. Unfortunately a while later with tongue loosened by too much wine on an empty stomach I was heard to loudly exclaim "I'm so hungry I could eat the dogs balls"

😂👍

Oilyoilyoilgob · 29/03/2024 11:04

DuesToTheDirt · 29/03/2024 10:18

Here, have a Biscuit. That's for you, not for @AInightingale , who I guess wants something other than Biscuit.

So true, biscuit well deserved to @Sausage1989 who must have written that with pursed cat bum mouth at full force!

Obviously the type who would also serve a vegetarian a rich tea biscuit, because their imagination can stretch no further 😄

Somepeoplearesnippy · 29/03/2024 11:07

Invited to a friends house for dinner. We turned up (four in a shared car) with hostess gifts of wine, champagne, flowers, homemade bread, chocolates etc. she hadn't cooked anything and suggested we order a takeaway. The food was delivered and very nice. The gifted champagne wasn't opened, nor were the chocolates, or cake or bread served. The next day she sent us all an email asking for £5,70 each towards the cost of the takeaway.

The same friend invited a group of women to her holiday home while our husbands were away together (staying with my DH at our second home in his country of origin). My DH had stocked up our house with wine, beer, food and extra sets of golf clubs so his mates wouldn't have to pay anything but their flights out and car hire and I guess we expected this wife to be similarly hospitable. Far from it. A few days before we arrived (4 women for a 2 day break) she sent us a copy of her Ocado shop and asked us to pay 20% of it each .
The delivery included a pack of 24 loo rolls, a big bottle of Persil, soap, shampoo, cleaning products. She basically expected us to divvy up for her monthly big shop.

suburburban · 29/03/2024 11:10

AnybodyAnywhere · 29/03/2024 10:48

Many years ago my Aunt, mother’s sister, was visiting from Australia. I drove to Heathrow, waited about 4 hours for Aunt’s delayed flight so cost a fortune in parking, drove Aunt to Mother’s house - nearly 150 miles round trip.

Got to Mother’s and after greetings and a cup of tea mother said to sit down for lunch, I was starving as I’d set out at 4am. Mother came in with 2 plates of wonderful smelling chicken casserole, one for Aunt and one for Mother, looked at me and said ‘I didn’t make anything for you, if you’re hungry you’d better go and get some chips or something.

My Aunt is now 97 and has dementia but she still remembers and always tells the story to visitors if my name gets mentioned.

That is awful of your dm

DuesToTheDirt · 29/03/2024 11:11

@Popworks wow, what the hell was wrong with those people?

I've got a somewhat different story that I've just remembered. I used to have a friend who was both hard up and tight, and we used to visit each other for dinner, sometimes along with partners or other friends. One time I was hosting, and I'd made a lovely dinner and dessert. Tight friend turned up on the doorstep, saying, "I'm not really very hungry. I stopped at a gallery on the way over and they had free food - I couldn't turn down free food." Hmm

Nightowl1234 · 29/03/2024 11:12

Popworks · 29/03/2024 10:38

When I was about 8 or 9, i was invited to my first sleepover at a friend's house. I was so excited. My mum told me to remember that different families do different things, and that I should try my best to eat what I was offered, even if it was unfamiliar, and that I must be polite. I was a very polite, sensible, shy child so that was fine.

Her mum picked us from school - so was well aware that I hadn't eaten my evening meal. We played quite happily in her bedroom until about 6.30pm when her mum knocked on the door. "Friend, come downstairs now". She said to me to wait there and that my friend would be back in ten or fifteen minutes. I was actually a bit worried as her mum sounded stern and I thought my friend was in trouble. She came back and i could smell food on her. I remember feeling so awkward and unsure, but we carried on playing until, after ten mins or so, I asked when we would be having dinner. My friend wouldn't look at me, but just said "we already have". I just was too shy to argue back that I was hungry, but I thought I'd be OK as surely they would give me something before bedtime - in my family, we would always have some weetabix or toast or a couple of biscuits a little before bedtime, if we were hungry. But a few hours later, her mum told us to go to bed - no food offered. I remember lying there, trying to go to sleep (on a thin camping mattress with an itchy blanket - they were as ungenerous with comforts as they were with food!) with my stomach growling, feeling so confused.

I woke up, sick with hunger, at about 4.30am and laid there until my friend woke up about 7 ish. Finally, at about 7.30, her dad called up "Time for breakfast". I remember feeling SO relieved. We walked downstairs and her dad stopped me at the bottom. He was a tall, deep voiced man and he scared me a bit. "You'll be home soon enough, you don't need anything". I remember them watching as I walked back up the stairs and I just didn't dare say "but I'm hungry". They also told me that I didn't need to brush my teeth as I had done it last night - maybe saving toothpaste?

Eventually my mum picked me up, as arranged, I think about 10.30 or 11am. I politely thanked them on the door step, as I knew I had to do, and I got in the car with my mum. I don't think we even had driven out of their street before I burst into sobs and told my mum how hungry I was, having not eaten since my school dinner the day before. I don't think I had ever seen my mum so furious. She spun the car around and marched back to their house, before hammering on the door. I don't know what was said - I was still I the car and it was far enough that I could only hear raised voices - but she never spoke to them again and I suspect she told a lot of people, as I remember other children asking me about it, so presumably had heard from their parents.

I do have a positive memory from it though; after my mum had yelled at them, she drove me to the supermarket and told me to pick anything I wanted for lunch. I chose a heinz cheese and bean pizza, which new to the shelves (showing my age there!) and an apple cream cake, so I felt incredibly spoilt. I still can't believe though that anyone would leave a child to go hungry whilst feeding themselves.

This made me cry! (Tbf I am pregnant so cry at anything at the moment). But I cried for the little you who must have been so confused, and also cried because of your hero mum’s response!

2024istheyearforme · 29/03/2024 11:13

Back around 2005 My Auntie invited us all over for Christmas dinner... And charged everyone £50 per person for a roast dinner including per child. Her mum ( my grandma) couldn't afford the £50 so my mum had to pay £200 for the day ( me, mum, grandma and her brother who also couldn't afford it)

I understand wanting a bit of help with costs BUT my Auntie is very well off and i remember thinking why would you charge so much for a basic roast dinner, also all of the alcohol /drinks weren't new it was used and opened from previous parties of hers.

Oh and the main reason i found it Stingy is because for years she had been going to our grandmas for a free Christmas dinner with all free drinks and puddings etc and she didn't even get anyone a present at this Paid party of hers!

2024istheyearforme · 29/03/2024 11:17

@Popworks

Omg that's Awful!! Imagine Starving a child … !

LanahLane · 29/03/2024 11:23

toomanyy · 29/03/2024 10:54

Time to stop being generous. They don’t deserve it.

Tell me about it!

They visited, on an ordinary weekday. I suggested we pop to the local pub for a carvery type lunch. Nothing flash or special, typical ‘fiver a head, kids eat free type place’. Easy for a quick, filling lunch.

At the end of the meal my DM said - “we’ll get this”.
Nice thought!

Until she added - “we didn't get you anything for your (big) birthday, this will do”.

I was rendered speechless!

Especially given that we had paid for tickets to a top football game and stay abroad and tickets to Michael Buble and a stay in Barcelona for their respective (big) birthdays!

LakeTiticaca · 29/03/2024 11:25

I love these kind of threads and I'm astonished at the mean behaviour of some folk. I wouldn't dream of inviting guests round then presenting them with a bill!!
What I can't get my head round is why some people tolerate the hosts hiding away the good alcohol that the guests have brought and whipping out the paint stripper stuff
Why not say , come on Steve get our booze cracked open, we are parched!!

Calliopespa · 29/03/2024 11:27

The thing about these stingy people is, whatever they think they are gaining financially, they completely demean themselves.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.