Tell us something awful you did as a kid.

[Friedchickenrocks]

Aged about 8 our grandad was staying with us and I hid his glasses. Nobody thought it was me but he knew. He was literally almost blind for a week and even went poking with his walking stick down the loo. "I know it's her. I just know it, little bitch" Eventually they magically re-appeared on the sideboard. I never did own up and my mum never thought it could possibly be her blue eyed girl.

I don’t think it is. I was a very shy, well behaved child but I can imagine doing it. You do something you think is funny, especially if you don’t normally do ‘naughty’ things and then when you realise it’s serious you freak out and get scared to tell anyone. Luckily I never actually did this though 🤣 kids do silly things. I remember doing things just to experiment, like seeing what would happen if I put my mums socks in the toilet. Or seeing what would happen if I poked my baby sister in the eye! Very minor in reality and the intention was never malicious.

@Rockfordpeach well done for outing him

I often pretended to die when DSIS annoyed me- she would always believe me!

This is terrible, you were old enough to know better. Psychopath tendencies again !

Oh dear. I was about 5, fed a neighbour's sheep with wet clovers. All good intentions, the sheep liked it. It died shortly afterwards and when older I learned this is absolutely not to be done.
I'm 44 and still regret it, was to sh*t scared to own up.
Hanging my head down in shame, still. 🙂

At bedtime, I used to tell my much younger brother scary or sad stories to make him cry. Then I'd tell him a happy story to stop the tears. I also once spat in someone's face. To be fair, she was twice my size and had been bullying me for ages and I was on my back while she sat on my chest and was pinning my arms down with her knees. Her parents complained to my parents and they made me apologise to her. I was about 10.
Reading all these accounts, it shows that there's such a thing as original sin.....

Yes, but he told her in such a way, that she believed him. Adoption is a bit different from a cabbage patch. Anyway I believe he was quite rightly told off and smacked for doing so.

I've never told my sibling this. It is different if you're 10/11 as he was and she was her age 6/7 and at an age where you'd believe it, especially due to the age difference.

Oh blimey! Mine is so tame. I was made maths monitor at junior school which meant I stayed in at playtime to look after the maths equipment (I haven't thought about this for years and this now seems completely unnecessary and bizarre!!!! Why was this needed?!) Anyway, on 'my days' I would wear a skirt or dungarees with pockets and steal loads of squared paper to take home. I was never a suspect as I was such a goody two shoes.

One of our neighbours wouldn't ever give our ballls back.

My brother got a fresh dogshit and rubbed it under his car's driver door handle.

Then we hid in the front room waiting for him to go out in his car. His disgusted shouts were hilarious.

This wasn’t the worst thing I did, but it was one of the weirdest. I was at my friend’s house when we were about four. Her mum had just made and iced a Christmas cake and I suggested to my friend that we should chop it up and feed it to her hamster. My friend wielded the knife as she was much better with her hands than I was. We piled up the hamster’s bowl with pieces of Christmas cake, but the cake was very moreish, so we took some back out of the hamster’s bowl and ate it. We were in a fair amount of trouble when we were discovered.

More than 30 years later, I was reading “When Willy went to the Wedding” to DD, and realised I’d read it as a child. I saw the illustration of Willy’s hamster on the wedding cake, eating the icing and finally I knew what had possessed four-year-old me all those years ago.

I've got another one. I was 8 and had joined a new primary school where I knew no one (had been at an infants school before).

I made friends with 2 girls there, E and D. E could be quite controlling and spiteful and try to bully me. But I was shy and quiet so just went along with it. Then one day she came in very upset, her grandad had just died. She'd been so unpleasant though and I think was unpleasant that day. I remember retaliating back to her 'I'm glad your grandad has died' and then feeling guilty after saying it as I knew it was bad and a hurtful thing to say. No one heard me though and we were still friends afterwards (I apologised). I think sometimes you have to have these disagreements with people so you develop friendship skills.

Another time, I was about 9, had been moved back to my original junior school where I was supposed to go. There was a really annoying and irritating girl a year or two younger than me who was spoiled stupid and let everyone know about what she had/didn't have. I can't recall what I did but I either slapped her face or screamed at her to get away from me, which she did. I did it in a quiet corner of the playground so no one saw me. She left not long after that anyway. I did feel slightly guilty after that but denied what I'd said/done when I was queried by a teacher about it. I was a quiet child, wore glasses which I was teased by other kids relentlessly about (Joe 90, four eyes etc) and also a teacher bullied me for wearing them and not being able to catch balls due to bad hand/eye coordination.

On holiday in Spain with my family, we were at the beach, playing around on a pier. There was a local family there with their kids, they were trying to persuade the youngest to jump into the water, she was about my age, 5. This went on for a long time, she'd nearly jump then go back. Everyone would make a big fuss again and she'd nearly jump......
Eventually I sneaked into the back of the group of family members and just shoved her in the back and ran off. I ran straight back up the beach and up the path to our holiday house without looking back.
I'm not really sure if anyone actually realised that I had done it, but my Mum and Dad knew and were torn between laughter and anger 😂
She did have arm bands on btw and she didn't drown.

This is a bit of a long one! I was 6 and each week we had this old bag of a woman come over ''to visit'' us. ''Aunt Flo. She wasn't a real relative but I was forced to call her aunty. She was HUGE, and I mean, thinking of her now, I'd say she was about 24 stone and about 5'3. One day I was playing with my horses and dollies on the livingroom floor, not bothering anyone, quiet, keeping my toys tidy etc. trying not to get in anyone's way and ''the thing'' came lumbering in and willfully kicked over my toys and snapped ''out of my way, sprog'' before plonking her enormous arse on the settee. I was in tears. I was always absolutely terrified of her, she really was quite a nasty woman and each week I'd try to hide away from her as much as possible.

I spent months scared silly and dreading her visits as she sat there scoffing us out of house and home and gossiping and being spiteful.

One day after being abused by her again I'd had enough and started a revenge plan in my head to get even with the vicious old crone. The next week I was again in tears at the thought of her coming. Our house was a huge ancient thing with a creepy outside loo and a coal shed next to it. Big ''concrete'' kitchen sink etc.

So this time I hid in the kitchen larder as I knew that as soon as she got in she'd make straight for the cupboards to rummage around for food and the larder was opposite the cupboards...

I waited until she started wrecking the place for food then suddenly jumped out and shouted BOO! At the top of my voice! The old bag s* herself as she shot through the roof with fright! I knew I'd be in for a genuinely serious physical beating from her if she caught me so I ran out at supersonic speed, through the garden, over next door's fence then over the barrier to the school that was at the end of our gardens and I didn't stop running and running!

The next week there was no sign of her at all! I was so relieved! And the next week! Then I heard that the old sod had dropped dead! Apparently she actually had a heart condition, which I didn't know about and apparently she didn't either. I never bothered going to her funeral. I absolutely hated her!

I'm now 58 and to this day I wonder if it was me that actually killed her! I do hope so .... !

I lobbed a shoe at my brothers head and it went through the front window, so I pegged it out the front door and my brother got the blame, my mam still doesn't know it was really me and she still thinks its him until this day.

Got my mums car keys and took her handbrake off and we lived on a bank, rolled down the hill and hit another car.

When some houses were getting built on our playfield they put fences up so we couldnt get in plus a man in a cabin for security. We would go and push the fences down and fling mudballs at the cabin and get chased.... for months. He must of really hated us.

I skived off school for a week when I was about 10, claiming a cold, my poor mother had to go to work so home alone in boredom, I pulled my hair out to make a bald patch about the size of a 50p piece and she paid to take me to a specialist as she thought I had alopecia. She still doesn't know.

@LeSoleil I like my canal holidays, and wouldn't have wanted to be on the receiving end. But I have to admire your planning and attention to detail, by using your bikes as getaway vehicles, and then doing it again at the next bridge. I suppose one way they could have nobbled you was to send someone ahead of their boat to the next bridge on foot, to catch you waiting at the bridge with your bottles!

I loved reading about practical jokes as a child, and I loved browsing a catalogue of joke items (the 90s equivalent of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes) but I wouldn't have dreamed of carrying them out, because I didn't like being on the receiving end. However, here is one which I did try out on someone at school, which I had read in a book:

Challenge someone to a coordination game. You hold your hands a foot apart, and tell them to move their hands, with palms together, from side to side between yours, without touching yours. Let them practise for a bit, then tell them they have to do it blindfolded, for two minutes, and if they touch your hands, they lose. Let them feel where your hands are, and tell them to move the hands from side to side again. While they are doing this, you creep away, so they are moving their hands from side to side for no reason. They kept at it for quite a few minutes!

@SausageRoll58 That reminds me of Roald Dahl's "Great Mouse Plot", where he describes putting a dead mouse in the jar of sweets of a horrible shopkeeper, and then seriously believes that the shock killed her; and said shopkeeper was gleefully egging on the headmaster when the boys were caned.

Some of them are beyond awful. Most are really vindictive and pretty sick - pretending to be a dead woman's husband, squeezing tadpoles flat, hiding granda glasses and pinching babies to name a few.

@SausageRoll58 Jesus Christ

Fireworks in red post boxes...I was 13...

I have to stop reading these because I am laughing far too much and have to go to a meeting in a few minutes! I'm also too ashamed to list all of my awful things.

If me and my sister fell out we would cut the hair of each others Barbie's and my little ponies. Might not sound that bad but we had very little money growing up so they weren't replaceable and doing their hair was the best bit. Just spiteful of each of us.

Aged about 8, the week before we moved house I got a sharp stone and etched the words '[brother's name] is a nasty pig' in the glass on my bedroom window. I don't think I expected it to really leave a lasting mark but it was quite deep. A common craft activity at the time was making 'stained glass' panels by colouring in felt tip pen on tracing paper so I made one and blu-tacked it over the offending area.

My parents have never mentioned this, so I don't know whether they didn't notice it in the chaos of packing etc or decided for some reason not to tell me off. I do sometimes wonder what the new owners thought and whether they managed to repair it or had to replace the window. In my defence, he was a nasty pig (although perhaps rather disrespectful to pigs which I'm sure can be quite nice).

When me and my friend were about 6 we made a mixture of rainwater, mud and leaves in the garden one day. We poured it into a glass and made the girl who lived across the road drink it. She was a year younger than us and we thought she had quite a big head and we told her it was a cure for that. She drank about half of it and we insisted she drank the other half. She started crying and went and told her mum. My mum smacked my legs and I had to go and say sorry.