Ashes jewellery/Scattering - how do you feel about it?

[Dipsydoodlenoodle]

As the title says really. How do you feel about it?

I recently (unfortunately) came in possession of some ashes, people asked if I was going to put some into jewellery - which got me thinking...

If people scatter their Ashes in different places (a friend did this for each holiday as their parent wanted to travel), are you not worried that you've scatterd a leg here, an arm there, a nipple there etc.

As for jewellery, what if your beautiful piece of jewellery displays a bumhole?

I mean, I know I'm being ridiculous and I've always thought the jewellery was nice until I became in possession of Ashes.

My dad has requested he's scattered when he goes, so with his wish, I'll do that, but to me it just feels odd that he won't be all together.

What are your thoughts?

I’m having a tour next month. I’ll ask!

(Sorry if too graphic)

I thought the coffin and flesh all got burnt away and the ashes are pretty much all ground up bone? So you're probably safe from bum holes and nipples.

It's not the person anyway. It's their remains. I didn't want jewellery from my Dad's ashes. I have memories and photos.

For me it's an absolute no-go for religious reasons (I'm Christian). The Church of England discourages it and the Catholic church says you shouldn't do it. I know not everyone sees it this way though - one of my best friends is a devout Christian and has her late dad's ashes in a pendant, which I know she finds very comforting. No way would I judge anyone for it as it's really not my business, but since you ask in an anonymous forum, I would feel uncomfortable with it for my own loved ones or for myself. I am leaving explicit instructions that my ashes go in one place... The very thought of someone wearing my cremated bum hole in a piece of tasteful silver jewellery... Just no...

My mother's remains are waiting at the funeral home until my father goes too. Then they'll be scattered together in a place that has significance to our family, and that I can see from a window in our family home. It tickles me that just as she waited for him in life, now she waits for him in death. 😊

The Victorians used to have mourning jewellery, with little bits of plaited hair from the deceased set into brooches or similar. You can still buy some from Ebay etc, although obviously there's usually no clue who the hair was from after all this time.

Personally I would be too afraid of losing such a sentimental item. It would become overly important and symbolic to me for just a physical thing. I'd rather scatter the ashes in their favourite place and keep my memories of the actual person. But this is a very personal thing, and if people find comfort in making jewellery from ashes then I say go for it. You don't have to grieve according to someone else's preferences.

Interesting question. You need to get out of the conventional way of thinking, so the person is now a soul or spirit. Remember Mike TV off the Original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, when he was scattered in the air in a million different pieces? A bit like that

The thing is …. You’re no longer here and you won’t know what your family do with your ashes. So if a ring or pendant brings someone comfort then why not? What I’m trying to say is it’s not about you, it’s about who is left to mourn and grieve you.

On a practical note, the ring I have is a very small heart on a silver band and the amount of ashes required is tiny, maybe quarter of a tea spoon, so it’s not as if you’re splitting them massively! I wouldn’t be absolutely devastated if it was lost or stolen however, a bit sad, but I have the person in my heart and thoughts and they don’t get lost.

Cremains are the non-biological remnants of the cremation process, that have been run through a cremulator to produce a fine sandy power. "Cremated remains are mostly dry calcium phosphates with some minor minerals, such as salts of sodium and potassium." It's about 3% of the mass of the original body. There isn't even usually any DNA left it in. A teaspoon of that powder isn't an arm or a leg or a bumhole, anymore than a teaspoon of chicken stock is the chicken's wing.

We chucked my mum's ashes off a cliff at a spot we liked to go walking, but I really didn't view it as "her".

The heat of the furnace incinerates pretty much everything except the skeleton, so no bits of coffin, nipples, bumholes or anything else.

You realise the ashes are the bones that are ground up? No chance of being specific body parts 😂

Each to their own, wouldn’t be for me to have jewellery made. It tends to be rather naff, from what I have seen.

We only just scattered FIL after 3 years of him sitting in the sideboard, it took a while to organise a trip to where he was from.
DH is opting for cremation, I did consider doing ashes jewellery for DC, but now the ‘separated bits’ is bothering me, it was just the prospect of losing it that I thought was the worst thing…until I read this thread.
I will be cremated too, not thought about what I want doing with my dust though.

I'm interested in the replies from people who have jewellery made. Are you talking about some ashes or hair enclosed in a ring or piece of jewellery? Or a diamond made from ashes ?

Photo attached - appreciate this won’t be everyone’s taste and if you’d told me I’d be doing this before mum died I’d have laughed. Again, this is literally a thimble’s worth of the ashes.

Edit : am shocked at how old my hand looks 😂

I've written a document for my adult DC (and sent it to them) setting out my post death wishes. I've been quite loose about most of it, except I've stated that I absolutely don't want my ashes split up, turned into jewellery or fireworks or whatever. Not do I want them shoved in a cupboard for years. It's about dignity for me. Scatter them quickly, with no particular ceremony.

I know this is too late for those of you who's loved ones have already passed, but if you like the idea of memorial jewellery but not sure about ashes, you could always have fingerprints taken.

My son was buried but i have his fingerprint on a necklace with his name engraved on the back, taken from a card he sent me.

I have hair set in mine, close up pic

DP died suddenly. I have a silver locket with a tiny photo of him, an equally tiny lock of his hair, and engraved on the back, reproduced in his handwriting and taken from a card he'd sent me, 'To Gym with all my love, [DP]'.

I was going to scatter his ashes and I knew where, but they are safely stored and when I go they will be placed in my coffin so that we're together again at the end. (BIL's idea, I can't take the credit.)

There will be as many preferences as there are people.
I’m another who sees no significance in the random dust after a cremation. When we lost my beloved mum my dad and I said they could do what they wanted with them so they were apparently scattered in a garden at the crem. We have never been back.

My mum lives on in her descendants and our memories - and some stuff we have kept.

Small makers like me take great care to ensure that the ashes are not mixed up. I keep the ashes in individual named pots and any left overs are returned alongside the jewellery.

I can't speak for the cheap internet services though.

I'm a jeweller too and I've never made anything with ashes or hair, but I've made new things out of gold/precious stones that are sentimental but remade into more modern/wearable jewellery. Some people are skeptical about that too but same as you everything is labelled and would not mix up the customers items.
I've never seen a diamond made of ashes and so I guess I'm intrigued about it. I've worked with victorian mourning jewellery and seen locks of hair in that but not anything modern. (IRL)

My dad is scattered in his 5 favourite places.
Wasn't sure how to get him abroad so we put him in an empty talc container.
He would of found this hilarious 🤣

When my DM died, I scattered some of her ashes at the garden of remembrance at the crematorium where both her parents were scattered, I have some in a beautiful glass jar in my bedroom and I got a blue glass necklace made so my beautiful DM was my something blue at my wedding, 3 months after she died.

I have my sons melted into resin which I have on a ring. I've never really thought of it the way you discuss, it's more comfort that he's with me everywhere I go.

We've kept his ashes inside a bear. And when I eventually go, I want his ashes to be mixed with mine - back where he started/passed.

Family can then decide what they want to do with us! As long as we are back together

I hadn’t ever really thought about it, could sort of see why jewellery to be made.

Until we first lost my Grandad, it felt that every one had a piece of him and was scattered in a different places but that’s what he wanted, but it had upset my Nan who said she’d would have preferred his scattered in one go!

We then lost her, her wishes were clear - where she wanted to scattered, all at once and as quickly as possible - she said she didn’t want to be trapped in a box or split up. It felt quite freeing to let her go in a place that meant so much to her .

Ashes can be made into a diamond. I'm not sure whether you have to ask undertaker before cremation or if it is done after but I taught a student who had a diamond around her neck and one day I told her it was very pretty and she told me it was made from her Dad's ashes. Her Mum got one too. I was a bit surprised but once I thought about it I think it's lovely.