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Original poster

Desperate - newborn crying every time I put her down

46 replies

user2233 · 06/12/2023 02:25

Hi,

My one week old keeps crying every time I put her down in her next2me crib. She's been changed and fed and I've been sat up for the past two and a half hours trying to put her to sleep. When I manage to get her to sleep and finally put her back in her next2me she starts crying straight away.

I've been combination feeding and been giving her bottles during bedtime to help her sleep for a longer stretch.

What can I do? Feeling extremely sleep deprived as this has been going on for days and I've just had a little cry about it. Any suggestions? TIA

OP posts:

PurBal · 06/12/2023 06:39

Your baby is one week old. She’s learning to be apart from you. Cosleep. If combination feeding always give bottles during the day as there are magical properties (hormones?) in breastmilk to help baby sleep and learn between night and day. It is really tough in the early days but it will get better.

PheobeBebe · 06/12/2023 06:42

Probably isn't the case for a next to me crib, but worth sharing just in case.
My DS was exactly like this. I tested his moses basket mattress, lying my own head on it, and I found that the mattress cover made a (loud enough) crinkling noise whenever he laid on it! I think it woke him up. I brought a new mattress and we never had the same problem again

prayforthecottransfer · 06/12/2023 06:44

Dummy, hot water bottle to warm the cot sheets. They worked for my daughter.

My son however, liked company and cuddles. He's 11 months and we have co slept since he was 4 months.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

0-3 months old Babies & sleep Families

diggermama · 06/12/2023 09:32

Another recommendation here for the Purflo sleep tight baby bed. First one of its kind for safe overnight sleep. We had it in the next2me, fits fine. Breastfed DS went down like a dream in it and slept well, when he wasn't making dinosaur/dolphin noises of course.

Congratulations on the birth of your new baby. As PPs have said, this too shall pass.

purflo.com/the-sleep-tight-baby-bed/

CalistoNoSolo · 06/12/2023 09:40

I had a velcro baby. They are demanding but very rewarding. I took the path of least resistance, fed on demand, breast fed to sleep, co-slept, carried her everywhere for the first few months (slings are your friend here). I got a lot of 'rod for your own back' comments etc but at 18 DD is one of the most emotionally stable and independent people I know. I think you need to do what works for you, but you baby is very tiny and new. If you can safely cosleep then I would try that. Good luck.

Seeline · 06/12/2023 09:42

She's a week old. Bottle feeding won't make her sleep any longer at this early stage (I'm not sure that it definitely does at any stage!). She has a tiny tummy that needs filling every 2 hours
Combi feeding this early one is probably not helping establish your own supply either
She is tiny and just wants to be near her mum.

Katharineblum · 06/12/2023 09:50

Not encouraged at all but I ended up driving round at night to get mine to sleep.
Ended up just constantly breast feeding them to sleep which wasn’t ideal either but it did work. First few months going to be honest can be awful for some. Mine cried almost constantly but friend’s baby a few months younger was a dream. It does pass. Looking back I think mine was having a lot of reflux/wind so could be something to consider. Also they do get overtired if you miss the warning signs but you will get to sense this as time goes by.
With my second I dealt with it better as I guess I knew what to expect ! Like others have said try to get others to chip in and help.

BurbageBrook · 06/12/2023 10:14

My baby was like this. Ended up cosleeping by one week old. It worked great for us and since then I've got so much sleep! She's a fantastic sleeper as long as we cosleep!

Okdaisy · 06/12/2023 10:20

My baby is exactly the same- swaddle bag worked for us.

monsteramunch · 06/12/2023 10:32

Our little one felt a bit lost in the next to me I think so we've got her in the Moses basket (which she loves) in the next to me so we can still see each other easily. It's working really well for us so worth a go! Really hope you manage to get some sleep soon

Seeline · 06/12/2023 10:47

Is this just at night time? Does she nap during the day?

Babies have to learn the difference between night and day which can take a while.

muddlingthrou · 06/12/2023 10:49

Swaddling and slings are your two friends. Good luck!

MrsSkylerWhite · 06/12/2023 10:49

Our first was the same. Would second laying her on a piece of your clothing and trying a dummy. Lots of people don’t like them but they can be the difference between sanity or otherwise.

MrsSkylerWhite · 06/12/2023 10:50

Would also try swaddling.

Seaweed42 · 06/12/2023 10:58

Looks it's going to be pretty shit for the first 3 weeks.
The first 6 weeks of a newborn are a frigging nightmare.
They fucking won't go to fucking sleep.

I'd love looking at her when she was asleep and feel a rush of love.
Then at 4apm looking down this redfaced roaring little prawn monster in the carry cot and feeling a rush of something definitely not love!!

If you are only crying once a day that's not too bad!
I only stopped crying after about 5 weeks.

You have to remember there has been no day and night in the womb. So the baby is getting used to this whole day/night eating/sleeping thing too.

A soother is great if they'll take it.
Swaddling too, wrap her up and then when you put her into the cot there's no be difference in how she feels.
Otherwise she's been all warm and snuggly against you then rudely plopped into a colder place on her own.

monsteramunch · 06/12/2023 11:06

Oh and I agree with people suggesting trying a dummy. It can really help soothe them and keep them calm and happy.

InTheRainOnATrain · 06/12/2023 11:14

I think there’s been lots of really good advice already but one more thing- have you left her for a minute to see if she stops crying? I literally mean a minute, definitely not advocating going all out on cry based sleep training with a newborn or anything, but just wait and see if she starts to settle.

My DD was a dream at bedtime once we figured that out (thanks to the brilliant Bringing Up Bebe book; the French call it Le Pause apparently). We’d put her down, she’d cry, within a minute it started to taper off to this funny sort of noise I can’t even describe, within 5 minutes she’d be soundly asleep. She kept up the brief cry and weird noises to fall asleep until into the toddler years. Same thing if she woke at night, give her a minute to see if she resettled herself before getting up to make a bottle and we had her sleeping through pretty early. We also figured out she wanted to suck her thumb and could therefore only get to sleep as above in a sleeping bag and not in a swaddle.

KnittedCardi · 06/12/2023 11:29

I think small babies like to feel cosy and cocooned. I put DD's in a carry cot, in their cot, so they felt more secure. They stayed there until they were too big, and I just removed them from the carry cot, straight into the big cot.

MammaTo · 06/12/2023 11:45

Ahh congratulations!

We ended up putting the carrycot attachment to the pram inside the Next2Me to make it feel smaller and more cosy.

To be honest in hindsight we just had to roll with it - my baby didn’t like the next 2 me at all ever, so in them first few weeks me an my partner worked in 4 hour shifts. One would stay awake for 4 hours with the baby and then swap so the other could get some sleep/shower/eat etc.
The baby is so brand new and probably doesn’t like the outside world too much and wants to be close to a parent for comfort and unfortunately you have to accommodate that and call in all the help you can.

DoIReallyNeedToDoThis · 06/12/2023 11:51

tara66 · 06/12/2023 06:35

Re Car Seat -I thought young babies should not be put in cars seats at all?

How would most people take theirs home from hospital? :-s

monsteramunch · 06/12/2023 13:35

And just to echo others, please please do not leave your newborn to sleep in a car seat at home. It is not safe at all and could be catastrophic.

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