Work longer but part time or full time but (possibly) retire a bit earlier?

[Softwear]

I'm 48 and tired, tired, tired!

Elderly parent with dementia a 7 hour round trip away. Elderly in laws with increasing needs 4 hour round trip in another direction.
Autistic 'high- functioning' (my arse) pre teen. Plus other dc & DH who do their fair share but still need a piece of me.

Mortgage fixed term about to come to an end and dreams of paying off early kyboshed by interest rates.

Currently work full time in the public sector but contemplating going part time - however with our finances as they are this would mean working until at least state pension age which is 19 years away, with little hope of retirement before then. This is not really a finance/money question, just setting the scene.

What would/did you opt for in similar circumstances?

Never factor in a possible inheritance for future plans.

Work out exactly what you have spent over the last year, when we did this it took a while but we now have all the stats to make informed choices.

Yes I could see how this could easily happen.

I like the idea of a day for my own household/admin, a day for external family stuff, a day for family time and a day for me. That would leave 3 days for work! But I can easily see how everything would extend past the boundaries.

Agree, it's very unwise to plan on that basis.

in laws I think are leaving anything to GC, which I can pretty much guarantee my autistic DC will just blow on their special interest - I wish DH would speak to them about this but he's understandable reluctant to bring it up.

And from my side everything's likely to be swallowed by care costs (which I don't begrudge)

We were shocked at additional spending on eating out it’s the one not necessary spend that could be reigned in a lot.

We also had some big spends last year on decorating and a new sofa and carpet which is obviously a one off.

Which Report has stats on income needed for what they consider as a just manage, ok and then very comfortable lifestyle. We are ahead of you at early retirement stage as a bit older. A few of my friends have retired early, two are very wealthy and the other is like us very comfortable. One shocked me she was relocating and it turned out she could buy an 800k house without selling her current house. I have known her for a decade and she was very much like me tatty old sweatshirts and old walking boots and not a hint that they were millionaires.

I would choose pt now for 2 reasons.

1. You need the respite now not at retirement age. Who knows what the future would bring
2. My personality type needs some structure and actually I find the idea of not working scary. The job helps me form that structure so working actually suits me ( I like my job though)

I'm a bit behind you life cycle wise but can see it coming in a few years as my parents age. It's a tough position to be in.