Does having 2 kids vs just one make a big difference on finances?

[neighbourschmeighbour]

Just wondering what people’s experiences have been and whether the second has impacted on finances that much, or not made much of a difference?

@neighbourschmeighbour "On the other hand, DH has no siblings or cousins. I have one sister (we don’t get along so see each other extremely infrequently) and all my cousins are much older. If we had an only, they’d have very few possibly no relatives their age to grow up with and to be around as adults. I feel like that’s massive. I’d be more content with having one were either of our extended families bigger, if that makes sense.

I have one - it's just how it worked out - DBIL has no children and other cousins live about as far away as it is possible to get ( far side of the world ) DS is very happy with friends and Grandparents. & he has lovely friends - siblings sometimes aint all that.

But this his how it worked out - not a financial plan . Even if possible I am not sure I would have had a second child to provide first child with a sibling. Only children can be the friendliest most outgoing children ever & can make very firm and fast friends. (DS is early 20s and this has happened since he was a tiny tot )

It depends.
If you have childcare costs its a big difference
We will go from 2k to 4k in childcare and will have that for two years.

Not sure 2 is actually double as i know for me if my DD was an only child i would def be spending more on nice to have but ultimately pointless stuff. Baby classes, new /expensive clothes, more toys, expensive days out /ticketed events. A

As it is we dont bother with a lot of that as she is too young really. We do go to events, but its more for us, maybe every 2 months rather than most weekends. Clothes are 2nd hand... private schools are off the table.

@Totalwasteofpaper that's exactly me. I have 1 DC so I spend more because I only have one pair of trainees to buy so perhaps I spend more than I would if I needed 2 pairs of trainers for each DC. Having an only often means your paying to keep them entertained as they have no siblings. It's all relative you cut your cloth accordingly.

Two at university at the same time here was £1000 a month for accommodation.

This is our experience too.

We are relatively high earners but 2 children is expensive. Nursery fees are £1500k per month and that's with eldest child receiving funded hours for 3 year olds.

At winter it gets expensive - coats, boots, warm clothes. Plus double Christmas, double birthdays. Our dd age 3 is in a peer group where they are all now having birthday parties so there is that to consider too.

It's a lot. I do think it's worth it, I am 1/4 and v close to my siblings so always wanted to have more than 1. However I was naive about costs! The only thing stopping us having a third is the cost.

@Katela18 God peer groups at 3? You dont have to live abouve your means. You can give your kids a bit less!. No 3 year old is bothered about a party. I said this as someone who went out and had a cake designed and booked a trampoline party for DS at 3 years old. It was for my benefit he would of been happy with a caterpillar cake and a few balloons. You don't have to live with the Jones...

She might mean the cost of going. A tenner on a gift every weekend adds up. (Yes you don’t have to spend a tenner on a gift, and although I’m factoring card and wrap too, there’s not a lot decent you can get that’s cheaper, and most parents don’t want to gift other parents utter crap.)

Massively! Two sets of everything. Including activities. We're pretty frugal but having to ensure each gets treated equally is expensive.

What I most notice is how it affects choices. Family with only one child can send theirs to a nice private school. We can't do that as double the cost is unaffordable. So choices are more limited for the same cost. (Our public high school is not a safe option.)

Unless you’re FABULOUSLY wealthy then having #2 will take away from what you can provide #1. You just need to decide whether that’s worth it, and what kind of life you want to be able to have / provide. Maybe you’re okay with second hand clothes and UK holidays, 1 activity a week, park and picnic at the weekend rather than a more expensive day out, maybe you’re not?

So far not massively but ours are still young. We went for a 3-year age gap so we aren't paying two sets of high nursery fees. DD1 is only £160 a month now.

I think it's also more that we approach things a bit differently and spend the money on stuff that matters more. When it was just DD1 I bought her stupidly expensive new clothes, way too many toys that she didn't even play with, etc. With DD2 we've kind of learned from the error of our ways there and so we've not really spent that much on her as a baby because we have the clothes, we've discovered Vinted, she's happy with the toys we already have. So we use the money instead for experiences and days out and things. I don't think her life has been diminished in any way, in many ways she has richer experiences than DD1 did.

We are fortunate to have substantial savings for them both but obviously DD1's share of what we have halved when DD2 was born, but given the amount she will receive in her life I don't feel guilty about that! Money is important but it's not everything.

I was very on the fence about a second, we almost stayed at one, and I'm sure DD1 would have been absolutely happy and thriving as an only. But she's also happy and thriving with DD2 and they absolutely adore each other and given we have such a tiny family (no cousins, only one living grandparent), it does make me feel a bit relieved that they do have each other.

Thank you this is a helpful perspective