Bereavement hamper

[WaitingForRainAgain]

I want to send a hamper to a friend but dont know where to start. A lot of them look like not very much for a lot of cash! Thinking to spend £50-£80.
They are a couple with no children, so just want to send nice things that might be helpful/cheerful for the two of them while they go through a horrible time.
Anyone have any suggestions for hampers they have used that they thought were good value, good quality?
Thanks in advance.

Btw, I did have a cat.

I agree. I think things to make their life a little easier is the way to go.

Yes, but also comfort food.

After my FIL died some close friends of mine clubbed together for Just eat vouchers, one of his friends sent a crate of beer and another one a biscuit hamper.

we also had lots of people drop off cake, chocolates and biscuits. People just want to let you know they’re thinking of you.

It’s a lovely idea OP.

Go visit them, the human contact is often whats required.

One thing i took away after my partner died was how lonely i felt, people often avoid.

I was sent a cake, i threw it in the bin but a friend turned up who i hadn't seen for many years, we became the very best of friends, i will never forget the time they took to visit.

I do like this idea, but I live a few 100 miles away

A friend of mine is going through a hard time, his 78 year friend has just flown over from Australia to support him, not a few 100 miles away, if your bereaved friend means anything to you, visit them if you possibly can.

you can just have all those bits delivered from a supermarket.

People in the fog of grief aren’t going to get anything from the extra you pay for the prettiness of a hamper basket and presentation.

I really wouldn't send a hamper and definitely not a bloody hello fresh box! The first just seems celebratory and I'd look at it and think "how obscene" and a hello fresh box. Just no.

A lovely card and flowers if they like them and make the effort to go to the funeral.

I have to admit I feel this, unless you really know the person to actually know they would like this

It is nice you want to be nice but the idea does not sit right with me

Hampers are never good value and I always find half the stuff doesn't get used.

If you have the time buy a hamper kit ( can get these on Amazon) and put one together yourself with nice , snacks, nibbles etc

I would send a really nice card with a thoughtful message.

Not a hamper or vouchers. Most hampers are a bit rubbish, lots of packaging but not very nice. Maybe if you went to the shop and bought specific things you know they loved and sent it together with the card. But otherwise they are a lot of fluff, but who needs chutney and crackers when you are just trying to get by. I think some favourite comfort foods, yes, but it would be better if something you chose just for them.

Same with Just Eat or similar vouchers. Unless you know they use it lots already. We don’t even have Just Eat/Deliveroo here, but our closest takeaways are a bad Chinese and a kebab shop, neither of which I could imagine wanting to eat if I was struggling and needed nice wholesome filling food.

A really thoughtful card and then find a way to be present, travel to see them, be there for the funeral, help with making coffee, etc.

I think this is so subjective.

My mum died of cancer in May. She went into hospital a week before she died & we were with her every day.

What helped then was the offer of listening ears and anything that made our lives easier - so yes, things like takeaway vouchers or comfort food. What’s helped since is people checking in with me and the knowledge that there are a few people I can cry all over if I need to. Any inspirational books would have gone straight on the charity shop pile.

Grief is fucking exhausting. Whatever you do for your friend, make it about her, not about you - maybe ask what would help, including offering to visit, but also let her know that she doesn’t have to come back to you until she’s ready. Also the thing about flowers is that the recipient needs to have a vase. And for fucks sake when you talk to her don’t try to make it better. You can’t.