Anyone else find it hard to sympathise with sick husbands

[broomers]

I'll start by saying this is somewhat lighthearted! DH has had a cough and cold that has rumbled on for a week now, nothing horrendous not like a flu where he's been in bed all day etc. He bravely managed to drink red wine and beer over the weekend when friends came to visit but as soon as they left he was back to oh poor me I'm so ill. I'll admit I'm more a sick it up and crack on type of person and will tend to play down any of my own illnesses, but DH is the opposite he craves sympathy and updates me every half hour on how awful he's feeling. We have 2 children under 5 and a house full of builders and I'm trying to work full time through it, this morning I snapped that I'd run out of sympathetic things to say in response! Please tell me I'm not alone but I find myself getting really wound up by him when he's ill, he just seems so pathetic!

Oh god. Yes!
But his is always so much worse than mine. Soooo much worse.

It's the constant updates on how poorly they feel that get to me. My ex drives to see ds once a week. He's retired so he does very little for the rest of the week. Yet when he arrives I have to hear all about his achey knee and his cold and whatever else is bothering him.

I work full time, drive every day, do all school runs, 345 nights a year. In the last 18 months I've had surgery, chemo, radiotherapy and assorted other stuff and he hasn't noticed. I admit I wore a wig when I lost my hair, but I think I was looking fairly peaky while it was all going on and yet I got to hear all about his rash and his sore big toe. 😂

If it wasn't so funny, it would be sad.

I don’t know what it is about men. They just feel the need to make it all about them. DH is just the same. I’ll happily play nurse when he’s really ill but when I expect him to carry on with a bit of a bug like I (and most women) do, he feels the need to make it very clear no man has ever been so ill and yet heroically managed to continue to parent. Drives me nuts.

Yep mine!. If any of us says we've got a headache then he gets one not long after. A cold and he's got severe flu and bed bound while the rest of us just get on with having a stuffy nose. Tummy bug....even if he doesn't get it he will be clutching his tummy and moaning he feels sick, but can still eat etc lol.

But the best was our teen dd coming in from school looking pale and tummy ache. She come to tell me she'd started her period and could she have a painkiller and hot water bottle. Obviously she didn't want it announcing to everyone and off she went for a lie down. Dh then starts saying he's got a bad tummy ache, feels dizzy. Dd comes down just as he's shoved his dressing gown of doom on and he looks at her and says "cheers dd I've got it too now". So she went back upstairs, come down with a sanitary pad, and says "going to need this then dad" 😂😂😂😂😂

Mine likes to add an extra week to any illness by building up to it, like trailers for a film: “I’ve got a tickle at the back of my throat, hope it’s not the start of a cold.” “Hmm, this mouth ulcer suggests I’m getting quite run down – might be getting ill.” Etc. Then when he does get (mildly) ill I’m already sick of the dramatics and the talking about it. I’ve never known a cold need so much narration of its ups and downs before.

Last time he had a cold he claimed: “It could develop into a severe flu, as happened the last time I had a cold.” We’ve been together a decade; he’s never had the flu. The night before my C-section he was pacing around going “I almost collapsed blowing my nose – I hope I’m standing tomorrow.”

I sometimes think I actually hate my husband when he thinks he's sick. He's a massive hypochondriac and it drives me absolutely round the bend. I really can't tolerate it.

yep, I hate it. I ignore and never pander to any man who does it.

Same thing happened here! I was less then sympathetic, he went to @ OOH GP who prescribed antibiotics for a chest infection so I felt a bit guilty, until that night when he couldn't breathe so I had to call an ambulance and he ended up with a chest drain in the high dependency unit for a week! Felt really bad then.

He still annoys me when he's ill though, particularly a headache, although now there's always a tiny bit of guilt with the annoyance!

DH won’t ever go to bed. Just monopolies the front room sleeping in front of the TV snoring so no one else can go in there. Then he always goes ‘I should have gone to bed’ does the same then next day.

Mine refuses to take lemsip which he insists upset his stomach and says the only medicine that could possibly do any good is Nightnurse which is fucking pricey and sometimes hard to find. He is also obsessed with taking his temperature and asking me "what's normal" and then seeming a bit disappointed when I tell him and it turns out his is normal. I personally have never ever had a high temperature as an adult so I find it frankly ridiculous.

Last time I accused him of having man-flu it turned out to be Covid 🤦 even so he really milked it and refused to go to the theatre two weeks later as he apparently still felt ill.

The main thing that makes me unsympathetic is that he has barely ever taken time off work due to illness, but will then waste the whole weekend in bed being ill. I'm like, that's literally what sick leave is for. Classic male "I'm irreplaceable" behaviour. Nobody could possibly do my job.

@saltrocking

So she went back upstairs, come down with a sanitary pad, and says "going to need this then dad" 😂😂😂😂😂

I just LOVE this! Well done to your daughter!! What did your husband say? 🌹

Yes generally all pathetic 😅 and the rest won't go to Dr even if arm hanging off

Omg the poorly voice, it makes my ovaries shrivel up

All of this, the updates, the moping, the relapses, refusals to see doctors. Add in a serious (and real) MH condition, and his immune system being useless due to underactive thyroid and it was relentless.

I've also been very unsympathetic during what has turned out to be pneumonia, bronchitis, torn ligaments…

Agree 100%!

This is my husband. I have no sympathy if you don't at least attempt to do anything to make yourself any better. I hate the whining and the moaning of how bad you feel. I literally get fed up with it and end up asking if you've taken anything to help XYZ feel better and he whines "nooooooooo". Then 3 seconds later "I feel so bad"..... obviously you felt sooooo bad 3 seconds ago when you whined the last time. So I end up throwing a bottle of paracetamol at him on the sofa and going back to lay in bed with the kids to watch a movie or something. Lol. I hate the "I can't do anything for myself" mindset men get.

My then boyfriend, now husband came to visit me for the weekend and we went to the pub. I was dancing to some 90s rave and noticed bf was sweating a lot. I asked him if he was OK and he said he felt a bit hot.
Turned out he had a fever and was really ill!

Went straight home to look after him. He is a rare one who sucks it up and doesn't moan, and bonus points, is very sympathetic when I'm ill and looks after me well!

That is really sad and not at all funny :(
Sorry you had to go through cancer treatment all alone.

What is it with not taking paracetamol?

DP will moan and complain about how he's got 'man flu' but when I ask if he's taken something for it he says no, he doesn't like taking painkillers.

Just...why? Is it because they'll feel better and therefore be deprived of the right to whine? Is it because Real Men Can Beat This On Their Own?

Hmph.

I’ve got the sick husband right now. Huffing and puffing. He’s got a cold, that’s all and we are meant to be going away for the weekend with my family for a big birthday. All he has to do today is sit in the car while I drive us to the hotel, then he can go to bed if he wants. Today is chilled and the actual birthday is Sunday and he’ll likely be find by then. If it was me I’d just dose up and crack on, but I’m getting the vibe he’s going to say he’s too ill to come. And I’ll be livid if he does!

My late Dad and my ex- husband were like this. Extremely stoical. My Ddad was rarely ill but when he was,he never complained,just soldiered on. My ex- husband carried on going to work despite having a really nasty burn on his arm,also went back to work 1 day after fairly major dental surgery. Consequently,I have little sympathy for men who collapse into a snivelling heap at the first sign of a cold.

Sympathy comes in many forms, when either of you is ill just make each other your favourite drinks on the regular like every hour when either of you is ill, you need to do better, hydration is important, also many men will soldier on as we were taught not to whinge from an early age, we learnt there is no sympathy in the world, last year I had stomach cramps, toe curling cramps, my daughter was the one who finally said i should go to the hospital as I have cancer, she just came out and said it, it made me think and I went, 2 days later I had a 10" stapled wound on my abdomen, and 8 things attached to my body along with a nice little stoma bag. They removed most of my cancerous colon along with my appendix. I'm alive and doing okay now.

Mostly this thread is about men NOT soldiering on

Zombie thread.....