Would you pay for a postnatal doula/mother's help?

[HBGKC]

As above, really!

I'm coming to the end of my own baby phase (I hope!), and am trying to work out what kind of job I could do in a couple of years' time, when my youngest starts nursery at 3, doing the 30 funded hours. I'll be 45, if that's relevant.

I have a large family and various other irregular commitments, so I don't think I can (yet) commit to a 'proper', full-time job. I'm looking for something I can do for a few hours each day, to earn something to contribute to the family pot. I'm not proud, wouldn't mind Ubering, but would obviously prefer to do something I found interesting, that adds something of value to people's lives.

My idea would be to offer my time, in chunks of 1/2/3 hours, morning or afternoon, to new mums. I'd come to their homes, and do whatever they needed, basically! Hold the baby while they have a shower. Make them breakfast. Change a nappy. Help them pack a bag ready to go to their newborn hearing check/baby clinic/six-week check-up. Unload the dishwasher/washing machine. Wind the baby. Support them in establishing breastfeeding, if that's their aim. Be a listening ear, particularly for them to unload their experience of labour onto - a lot of women really seem to need to talk through what may have happened to them/their baby.

Basically be a second pair of hands and a supportive presence. In terms of experience - I have had quite a few children, 3 in hospital, some at home, breastfed them all, and am a passionate supporter and advocate of women's rights around birth and their babies.

Would this interest you? And what kind of hourly rate do you think would be reasonable? I was thinking I could offer a sliding price scale depending on number of hours/days booked at a time IYSWIM.

Any takers? Sorry that was so long!

I should say, qualifications could be basic like paediatric first aid.

Sounds great, but I would definitely think twice about an unqualified person, so I reckon looking into the types of qualifications mentioned would be a good idea. And the background check/disclosure too.

I looked for this type of support ahead of my second delivery, but no luck in my area.

Price-wise, I’d be happy to pay £20-25 per hour and use for as many hours as I need.

Oh and now I'm wondering if you'd need insurance - some sort of professional indemnity cover?

Or am I overthinking this?

The postnatal help I would have appreciated is someone who came and cleaned the house, cooked something that could easily be heated up for tea and who was happy to be interrupted to hold the baby if I wanted to shower / do something else. It was the home cooked meals I found really difficult in the early days - we had cook vouchers but it wasn't really the same. If I needed any of the more "professional" support I would have sought out someone specific.

No definitely not.

I'm quite an extrovert and yet I'd feel really uncomfortable spending time with a total stranger at such a personal/vulnerable time of my life.

I had a lady who came twice a week for the first few weeks. She cooked a meal, facilitated me sleeping for a few hours and supported breastfeeding. She was a retired nurse or midwife as I recall. I paid £20 per hour if not more but as I had no local family or support it was a lifesaver

I don't know, I'll have to be check!

I'd definitely get a DBS.

It would be too outing to go into details here of my unofficial qualifications for the role of postnatal mother's help, but I do have a LOT of experience, both my own and in supporting family and friends during this time.

I totally understand that I would not be what some people were looking for; but from this thread it sounds like there are women who would like this kind of service - which is great to hear

A paediatric first aid course sounds like a good idea, too.

I think I'd definitely want this (and I'm in south london!) - in fact I tried to get mothers help when dd was 3-6m and I was feeling overwhelmed. Just wanted help with someone to be with her while I had a shower or did a bit of housework. I found someone on a website but it didn't work out, she was helpful and keen but her energy was flustered and she just made dd cry incessantly for me.

I'm only 8w pg now so I won't need it till next year though! If you're still looking for mums to help then, pm me!

Fwiw, she charged 12 pounds an hour I believe. We had her for 2h at a time but I usually let her leave early, and I might have paid for her bus home but I can't remember. She was v young and worked part time at a nursery

Yes!

My partner went back to work almost immediately (no choice) after both children. Both C sections. The second one in particular was horrific.

Trying to manage a two year old & a newborn after emergency c section with a uterus infection was pretty horrific.

DP was burning the candle at both ends trying to run the house in the evenings help with the baby overnight & work shifts in a demanding job.

It was hard on the whole family and we really could of used some practical help. I searched for a mothers help but it didn't seem to exist in my area.

It would have been great to have someone to load / unload the dishwasher, help me get out the house with both in early days, hold baby whilst I played with toddler without a sling on (ended up ripping my scar open with the sling in the end and had more stitches) someone to prep a slow cooker meal for the evening so we could atleast eat decent food.

Sounds like a great idea! I think up to £20 an hour would be reasonable or maybe a flat rate of £90/100 a day for a full day.

This is exactly my (hopeful) thinking.

No, it wouldn't be for me. I'm lucky that DH has an excellent paternity package (6 months paid) so we've managed the postnatal period fine by ourselves. But I also didn't like the intrusion of HVs, midwives etc coming to the house after the birth, so I'd never choose to have another person coming in. Had no issues establishing breastfeeding and was fine packing my own bags, changing and winding baby.

Definitely wouldn’t pay for someone unless they were a qualified professional with insurance, DBS and full first aid qualification.

That’s how I feel I would hate to have a stranger in my house when I had just given birth, surprised so many would be up for this

Gosh @blahblahlandgoogoodoll, that sounds absolutely horrendous. I'm sorry you couldn't find anyone to help you.

@mnuser08 save this thread, and send me a PM next year, we can talk!

Agree with @pjani and @CantFindTheBeat
I looked for this (NE edge of London) with second son and couldn't find.
I'd be happy with £20 per hour. I think someone above said that most high earners would want qualifications - I am a high earner and I'd be happy with what's covered hy the two pp I referred to but obviously l, can only speak for myself.

I think you should go for it.

I paid £15 ph for a postnatal doula in Yorkshire. I'm not rich, but found it invaluable. The baby came early, we were unprepared and DH hadn't squared off his work...so we needed help. I consider myself lucky to habe been able to afford it. With the CofL at the moment I'm not sure I could do it now. I'm certain they will be plenty of people in London with the money and the need for your help. I think word of mouth will be your best marketing - once you've done your first few under your belt.

Would you be judgmental of mothers who make different choices to you? I’d consider how you’d feel about working with someone whose values don’t align with yours. You may find it more uncomfortable than you think.

I would pay for this service (up to £20 per hour and I’m in the north), but ONLY for a qualified person, ex nurse/midwife etc.

Sorry but I don’t think having lots of babies makes you a particular expert more than a trained professional. I’d be nervous someone without a medical professional background could miss something or give me poor advice to be honest as everyone has their own style of parenting.

I was a volunteer breastfeeding peer supporter for a national organisation for several years and had the full qualification etc, however it was absolutely dinned into us that we were only insured to support pregnant women, mothers and babies while we were registered with and supervised by that organisation. There was also a lot of emphasis on keeping up to date with evidence around infant feeding. We had to renew our registration on an annual basis.

There are postnatal doula courses around if you wanted to pursue it more formally.

I won’t spell out the possibilities, but the postnatal period is a time when things can go wrong and sometimes do go wrong. I think it is fine to offer new mums support with housework and cooking as an unqualified mother’s help, but as soon as you get into anything health-related there are risks involved. And you absolutely do need insurance!

I would consider this, and would want to see DBS, first aid, and be able to book short times eg 2 hours.

I wouldn't mind not having professional quals but would like to hear of your background if booking.

I do think your market could be an ad hoc/short term nanny or 'mother's help' really rather than overselling being a post partum support or doula. I am sure in London you would find your market! Good Luck OP x

*and some kind of insurance.

The more I think about it, the more a doula would not be right. Without being a professional you can't be taking control of health issues. But a mothers help sounds great!

I’d seriously consider it. I think I’d want someone to do the non baby stuff but with an understanding of what it’s like to have a newborn in the mix. But I really struggled to part from DS, other people might happily hand over their baby and use you to get a nap in.

I know someone who tried to find a mother’s help and couldn’t find anyone.

"Would you be judgmental of mothers who make different choices to you? I’d consider how you’d feel about working with someone whose values don’t align with yours. You may find it more uncomfortable than you think."

@WhatAmIDoingWrong123 I hope I wouldn't judge any mother for her choices. Before entering into an arrangement with anyone, I'd meet them so that we could both see if we 'clicked' and felt comfortable with each other.

I suppose it could happen that the mother felt comfortable with me but I didn't feel the same - in which case either I get over it, or I don't take on that particular client.