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Please help me find a funeral poem

29 replies

CalamityClam · 28/04/2023 20:52

I need something absolutely spot on for a disabled man in his 50s.
He was in a wheelchair, had few words (the ones he knew were not for polite company!) but made a LOT of noise.
He loved music, lights, his brother and the car.
He was hugely loved. I can’t find anything that feels right.
We don’t want anything religious. Humour is good.
Please help if you can.

OP posts:
difficultdifficultlemondifficult · 28/04/2023 20:58

Poem – My Journey’s Just Begun
Don't think of me as gone away My journey's just begun
Life holds so many facets
This earth is but one
Just think of me as resting
From the sorrows and the tears
In a place of warmth and comfort Where there are no days and years Think of how I must be wishing That you could know today
How nothing but your sadness
Can really go away
And think of me as living
In the hearts of those I touched
For nothing loved is ever lost
And I know I was loved so much

difficultdifficultlemondifficult · 28/04/2023 20:59

Poem - Remember Me
Speak of me as you have always done. Remember the good times, laughter, and fun.
Share the happy memories we've made. Do not let them wither or fade.
I'll be with you in the summer's sun And when the winter's chill has come.
I'll be the voice that whispers in the breeze. I'm peaceful now, put your mind at ease.
I've rested my eyes and gone to sleep,
But memories we've shared are yours to keep.
Sometimes our final days may be a test, But remember me when I was at my best.
Although things may not be the same, Don't be afraid to use my name.
Let your sorrow last for just a while. Comfort each other and try to smile.
I've lived a life filled with joy and fun.
Live on now, make me proud of what you'll become.

ThePoshUns · 28/04/2023 21:14

The Dash poem

I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend. 
He referred to the dates on the tombstone from the beginning… to the end.
He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears, 
but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time they spent alive on earth 
and now only those who loved them know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own, the cars… the house… the cash. 
What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard; are there things you’d like to change? 
For you never know how much time is left that still can be rearranged.
To be less quick to anger and show appreciation more 
and love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile… 
remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.
So when your eulogy is being read, with your life’s actions to rehash, 
would you be proud of the things they say about how you lived your dash?

ceecee32 · 28/04/2023 21:14

Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there I do not sleep.. erc

Briocheandbrie · 28/04/2023 21:17

Not humorous, but this gets me every time

Gone From My Sight by Henry Van Dyke

I am standing upon the seashore
A ship at my side spreads her white
sails to the morning breeze and starts
for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength.
I stand and watch her until at length
she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sea and sky come
to mingle with each other.
Then, someone at my side says;
"There, she is gone!"
"Gone where?"
Gone from my sight. That is all.
She is just as large in mast and hull
and spar as she was when she left my side
and she is just as able to bear her
load of living freight to her destined port.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment when someone
at my side says, "There, she is gone!"
There are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout;
"Here she comes!"
And that is dying.

Witchpleas · 28/04/2023 21:20

Not a poem but a song - The Parting Glass. Hozier recorded a beautiful version during the pandemic that always gets me. But the lyrics might be suitable.
Sorry for your loss.

lollipoprainbow · 28/04/2023 21:25

difficultdifficultlemondifficult · 28/04/2023 20:59

Poem - Remember Me
Speak of me as you have always done. Remember the good times, laughter, and fun.
Share the happy memories we've made. Do not let them wither or fade.
I'll be with you in the summer's sun And when the winter's chill has come.
I'll be the voice that whispers in the breeze. I'm peaceful now, put your mind at ease.
I've rested my eyes and gone to sleep,
But memories we've shared are yours to keep.
Sometimes our final days may be a test, But remember me when I was at my best.
Although things may not be the same, Don't be afraid to use my name.
Let your sorrow last for just a while. Comfort each other and try to smile.
I've lived a life filled with joy and fun.
Live on now, make me proud of what you'll become.

We had this for my mum it's lovely.

CalamityClam · 28/04/2023 23:55

Thank you all so much for your help.

OP posts:
SusiePevensie · 29/04/2023 09:48

It's a hard one. Poems about death and loss tend to be solemn. WH Auden Funeral Blues is an option. Lyrics to My Way? Slightly more left-field https://www.poetryinternational.com/en/poets-poems/poems/poem/103-13607_DEATH-IS-SMALLER-THAN-I-THOUGHT

How many miles to Babylon and My mother said I never should/play with the gypsies in the wood both have a wild unruly air about them. Might suit, might not.

Or this by Robert Louis Stevenson. https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46005/consolation-56d225c2de35d

Or this https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45946/grown-about-by-fragrant-bushes

Or the end of Hiawatha - this is longish but could be cut down

"I am going, O Nokomis,
On a long and distant journey,
To the portals of the Sunset.
To the regions of the home-wind,
[...]
On the shore stood Hiawatha,
Turned and waved his hand at parting;
On the clear and luminous water
Launched his birch canoe for sailing,
From the pebbles of the margin
Shoved it forth into the water;
Whispered to it, "Westward! westward!"
And with speed it darted forward.
And the evening sun descending
Set the clouds on fire with redness,
Burned the broad sky, like a prairie,
Left upon the level water
One long track and trail of splendor,
Down whose stream, as down a river,
Westward, westward Hiawatha
Sailed into the fiery sunset,
Sailed into the purple vapors,
Sailed into the dusk of evening:
And the people from the margin
Watched him floating, rising, sinking,
Till the birch canoe seemed lifted
High into that sea of splendor,
Till it sank into the vapors
Like the new moon slowly, slowly
Sinking in the purple distance.
And they said, "Farewell forever!"
Said, "Farewell, O Hiawatha!"
And the forests, dark and lonely,
Moved through all their depths of darkness,
Sighed, "Farewell, O Hiawatha!"
And the waves upon the margin
Rising, rippling on the pebbles,
Sobbed, "Farewell, O Hiawatha!"
And the heron, the Shuh-shuh-gah,
From her haunts among the fen-lands,
Screamed, "Farewell, O Hiawatha!"
Thus departed Hiawatha,
Hiawatha the Beloved,
In the glory of the sunset,.
In the purple mists of evening,
To the regions of the home-wind,
Of the Northwest-Wind, Keewaydin,
To the Islands of the Blessed,
To the Kingdom of Ponemah,
To the Land of the Hereafter!

DEATH IS SMALLER THAN I THOUGHT

My Mother and Father died some years agoI loved them very much.When they died my love for themDid not vanish or fade away.It stayed just about the same,Only a sadder colour.And ...

https://www.poetryinternational.com/en/poets-poems/poems/poem/103-13607_DEATH-IS-SMALLER-THAN-I-THOUGHT

annonymousse · 29/04/2023 10:07

@Briocheandbrie my dad died in February and we read that at his funeral.

timetochangeagainagain · 29/04/2023 10:12

Did he have a favourite song or a song that would sum up his character? I've been to funerals where song lyrics have been read out.

mamaduckbone · 29/04/2023 10:15

Smile because He Lived
You can shed tears that he is gone,
Or you can smile because he lived,
You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back,
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
Or you can be full of the love that you shared,
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember him and only that he is gone,
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn back,
Or you can do what he would want:
Smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Blackcatsalwaysrock · 29/04/2023 11:34

“Fear no more the heat o’ the sun” from Cymbeline

SusiePevensie · 29/04/2023 20:11

Good call @Blackcatsalwaysrock

Iguessyourestuckwithme · 29/04/2023 20:14

The Dash Poem (By Linda Ellis)
I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
From the beginning...to the end

He noted that first came the date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time
That they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
Know what that little line is worth

For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars...the house...the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering this special dash
Might only last a little while

So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life's actions to rehash...
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent YOUR dash?

The Dash Poem (By Linda Ellis) by Matt

Click to read the poem and comment...

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/1184764/the-dash-poem-by-linda-ellis/

Iguessyourestuckwithme · 29/04/2023 20:17

A Death Has Occurred
By Paul Irion

A death as occurred and everything is changed.
We are painfully aware that life can never be the same again,
That yesterday is over,
That relationships once rich have ended.

But there is another way to look upon this truth.
If life now went on the same,
Without the presence of the one who had died,
we could only conclude that the life we remember
made no contribution,
filled no space,
meant nothing.

The fact that this person left behind a place
that cannot be filled is a high tribute to this individual.

Life can be the same after a trinket has been lost,
but never after the loss of a treasure.

PercyMcPigface · 29/04/2023 20:20

The dash poem, on here a couple of times now, is a lovely one I think.

HuntingoftheSnark · 29/04/2023 20:23

I read this at my father's funeral. Brief but felt right.

If I Should Go
If I should go before the rest of you
Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone
Nor when I'm gone speak in a Sunday voice
But be the usual selves that I have known
Weep if you must
Parting is Hell
But life goes on
So sing as well.

unvillage · 29/04/2023 21:13

The only funereal poem I like is Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep. Most of these posted in the thread - particularly The Dash - seem so childish. Could be found in the Facebook comments on a post commemorating Princess Diana. I'd hate that at my funeral.

I like Stop All the Clocks too but that's a little darker.

Sorry for your loss OP.

unvillage · 29/04/2023 21:16

How about Do Not Go Gentle? Although it mentions old age and the poet's father, a lot of it could also apply to someone younger - good men, wild men, wise men. It's a lovely one.

Goldenboysmum · 29/04/2023 21:22

My daughter read this at my sons funeral, we changed some words so that it read...I know my friend is waiting (his friend had died a couple of years earlier) and also changed the last part to...so raise a glass, smoke some grass and forever speak of me
There is a train at the station With a seat reserved just for meI’m excited about its destination As I’ve heard it sets you freeThe trials and tribulations The pain and stress we breatheDon’t exist where I am going Only happiness I believeI hope that you will be there To wish me on my wayIt’s not a journey you can join in It’s not your time todayThere’ll be many destinations Some are happy, some are sadEach one a brief reminder Of the great times that we’ve hadMany friends I know are waiting Who took an earlier trainTo greet and reassure me That nothing has really changedWe’ll take the time together To catch up on the pastTo build a new beginning One that will always lastOne day you’ll take your journey On the train just like meAnd I promise that I’ll be there At the station and you will seeThat life is just a journey Enriched by those you meetNo-one can take that from you It’s always yours to keepBut now as no seat is vacant You will have to muddle throughMake sure you fulfil your ambitions As you know I’ll be watching youAnd if there’s an occasion To mention who you knewSpeak kindly of that person As one day it will be youNow I can’t except this ending And as it’s time for me to leavePlease make haste to the reception To enjoy my drinks, they’re free!

Goldenboysmum · 29/04/2023 21:24

Goldenboysmum · 29/04/2023 21:22

My daughter read this at my sons funeral, we changed some words so that it read...I know my friend is waiting (his friend had died a couple of years earlier) and also changed the last part to...so raise a glass, smoke some grass and forever speak of me
There is a train at the station With a seat reserved just for meI’m excited about its destination As I’ve heard it sets you freeThe trials and tribulations The pain and stress we breatheDon’t exist where I am going Only happiness I believeI hope that you will be there To wish me on my wayIt’s not a journey you can join in It’s not your time todayThere’ll be many destinations Some are happy, some are sadEach one a brief reminder Of the great times that we’ve hadMany friends I know are waiting Who took an earlier trainTo greet and reassure me That nothing has really changedWe’ll take the time together To catch up on the pastTo build a new beginning One that will always lastOne day you’ll take your journey On the train just like meAnd I promise that I’ll be there At the station and you will seeThat life is just a journey Enriched by those you meetNo-one can take that from you It’s always yours to keepBut now as no seat is vacant You will have to muddle throughMake sure you fulfil your ambitions As you know I’ll be watching youAnd if there’s an occasion To mention who you knewSpeak kindly of that person As one day it will be youNow I can’t except this ending And as it’s time for me to leavePlease make haste to the reception To enjoy my drinks, they’re free!

Sorry that didn't copy and paste as I'd hoped it would

Goldenboysmum · 29/04/2023 21:26

Sorry again!!

It's called Last Journey by Timothy Coote

Veescience · 29/04/2023 21:33

Hi this is a lovely poem
ONE AT REST

Think of me as one at rest,
for me you should not weep
I have no pain no troubled thoughts
for I am just asleep
The living thinking me that was,
is now forever still
And life goes on without me now,
as time forever will.
If your heart is heavy now
because I've gone away
Dwell not long upon it friend
For none of us can stay

Those of you who liked me,
I sincerely thank you all
And those of you who loved me,
I thank you most of all.
And in my fleeting lifespan,
as time went rushing by
I found some time to hesitate,
to laugh, to love, to cry

Matters it now if time began
If time will ever cease?
I was here, I used it all,
and now I am at peace.