£60 for kit? Need to check if I'm being unreasonable or unrealistic

[newjobnewstartihope]

So my little one wanted to go to a club that does football training. It's 35 pounds a month which is a bit more than most similar clubs round here but fine . Seems like a good club . However after being asked to sign up and set up a direct debit for that I was then told I needed to order his kit. No problem I thought expecting a top and shorts to cost 20 odd quid. 60 pounds they wanted for a kit for a club which will probably not fit in six months (ds is 7)
Is that a fuckload of money or am I being a stinge? I've sadly had to tell him he can't go as it's too much money and he's upset but even if I had it I think it's a lot ....is it?

OP maybe you need to look into a different club then? Or as others said delay his start for a few months.

Tbh I don’t find it normal for a child to react like yours did - if my parents couldn’t afford something then they couldn’t afford it end of conversation. Me and my sibling wouldn’t have tantrum over it. Perhaps use this as a teachable moment, it seems like he needs it tbh.

There are two kinds of kids football clubs in my experience. "Grassroots" so not for profit, and "academy", which is definitely for profit. My son goes to one of each. Grassroots teams are usually a small weekly fee but then nothing much to pay for; kits usually free and no match fee etc. academies, which I think at £35 per month is what you have selected, will require you to pay for kit. £60 is about the going rate in my experience. They won't discount your fees or your kit as it's their business.

Maybe look at a grassroots set up till your son is certain he wants to play?

It’s all about how you shape it up to him. ‘DS the kit is expensive, so once your completed x weeks / months or it’s your birthday as a reward we’ll get the kit, how exciting’.

If you don’t want the commitment then fine, that’s not unreasonable. To decide he won’t want to do it without it or say the club are wrong to have an optional kit definitely is unreasonable.

Just seen this update. This is your problem not the club. Sounds like you’ve never managed expectations before.

Around here that would be a lot but most clubs are run by volunteers & linked to schools, they are about £2 per week for younger kids to attend & as matches don't start until a bit older then kit isn't essential but most do buy a top anyway. There's also a good system in place for swapping up sizes via the club's or many pass on via FB pages. Perhaps worth looking into different options, DS may be upset at present but once he's joined had be fine

My ds's club is £35 a month plus 2 x training kits a year at £60 a go. Club pays for match strips from the subs. So works out £45 a month. That's for 8 x training sessions and 4 match days, plus all the benefits (fitness/friendships and all the lessons that come with playing in a team). Personally I think it's more than worth approx a tenner a week.
I'm a lone parent and not at all wealthy, I just prioritise and my ds is my priority.

It's actually not extortionate if they have a lot of personalisation and small orders. But I'd probably buy the top and a hoodie in a size bigger.

Is there literally no way you could afford it? Having a kid doing sport is priceless imo. Could grandparents help?

Why do they need two training kits?

There really is a difference between telling him he can’t go and him saying he doesn’t wish to. If you can’t afford it you can’t afford it. But why didn’t you check total costs put before you agreed ro send him there?

I’ve heard of this kind of thing and it’s always been discussed as a scam. So I think you’re right to walk away.

The football training sessions around here work out at about £4 a session. Holiday camps are about £20 a day and he’s football club is around £99 for the season where the kit is provided free of charge. It’s AMAZING value.

That sounds comparable to what we paid. DS does lots of sport - football, rugby, kickboxing, swimming and trampolining and we’ve paid between £45 (trampolining) and £160 (kickboxing 😳)for kit.

We always make DS do 8 weeks before we are willing to buy them though. I made the mistake of forking £70 out for his Karate suit when he was 5 and he went for a grand total of 2 weeks🤦🏻‍♀️!

That really helps in terms of affordability and as you make friends with other parents at the club, they’ll often offer second hand bits or know where to pick things up more cost effectively.

Any other clubs around with more reasonable costs? A lot to pay out if he doesn’t keep going.

So I'm not prioritising my son? Wow
I actually prioritise feeding him and putting a roof over his head. I've not had a haircut or new clothes for over two years but thanks for making me feel like shit

Surely the kit is expensive for everyone and some of the older kids parents will probably sell their kits when they are going up a size? That would be something that you would find out after he’s been there for a few weeks probably. In that time he would be wearing a plain kit from sports direct if he were my child and when he has decided that he wants to continue then he will get a kit, whether that’s second hand or not. Goodness help you if he is having a paddy at 7 because he can’t get his own way, kids have really expensive shoes/trainers/clothes/phones etc. at high school you know, you are going to be in for years of paddy’s if you don’t nip this in the bud now!

You don't think kids get disappointed when they are told constantly sorry can't afford this it's too expensive

Lol back to MN world where kids never get upset because they can't have something they want 🙄

Ask if there is any funding fir those who cannot afford full cost? Or can you get a shirt and use generic bottoms.

You're being really defensive while ignoring the many practical suggestions.

In reality if you can afford £35 per month fee, you can afford £60 for kit, albeit with a staggered start.

I do think your DC should be able to accept 'no' if you can't afford it (tho you probably can? With some adjustments?). I often have to say it to my DC. They also are aware their birthday money needs to go towards their sports eg kit, days away, new boots. One area that's been hard for me (single parent) is not doing birthday parties. As in, not activity ones / whole class, or at least very rarely. They are v expensive where I live, and it's not possible. I feel very bad about that but they accept it, and genuinely don't complain (we mark their birthdays in other, smaller ways, of course!)

That's another good idea! You should be able to find the right colour shorts & socks, not the team kit per se.

Wow £££££ I pay £15 subs per month that includes kit

Kids can get upset but that's not going to change the situation is it? My sons football kits cost that, for the second football training he does, I don't pay for the kit and he goes in his own. My son understands and hasn't kicked off about it.

OP your defensiveness and concerns about the costs of this suggest you can't really afford it. And if you can't, that's life. Don't put yourself through the stress. Just find a club where the fees are less, you e already indicated there are some around you that are cheaper.

It's worth factoring in that this won't be the only cost. All sports are expensive. There will be boots to buy fairly regularly, shin pads, tournament fees, the cost of travel to matches (our local grassroots games often are up to an hour away and the academy two hours).

Hobbies for kids are pricey, it's just life. Just look for something that is a better fit for your circumstances

That will be a grassroots team with volunteer coaches etc. I'd bet my house that the OP is referring to a private club/academy, which is someone's business, not a social enterprise