Your thoughts on ear defenders and chew toys for children

[Woodward23]

Please may I have your honest thoughts! a couple of times now people tecahers/leaders of activity have mentioned to both me and dh to get these items for our 6 year old who has some additional needs-speech and communication delay and learning difficulties is whats been diagnosed(not enough evidence for any other diagnosis liek autism/adhd for example )
Some (not every) loud noses really startle him and he will put his hands over his ears as he doesn't like to hear them.
Also chewing clothes again not all the time but just now and again he will start chewing something

Me and husband both have thoughts of thats not something we want to use because surely that then doesn't let him get use and acclimatised to loud sounds
Again with the chew toys surely that's encouraging him more to chew.
Is there other parent out there that are in the same thoughts of us or should we change our view ? Were honestly wondering now as just today at church its been mentioned again

My DD finds ear defenders useful though won't wear them while eating which makes school lunchtime hard. She uses a chew necklace sometimes but seems to prefer her collar!

Please don’t go down the road of trying to “acclimatise” (ie normalise!) children with sen. It’s damaging and cruel. If they have sensory issues - my son has autism and sensory processing disorder - do whatever you can to make things better and easier for them, life is hard enough. My son is 10 and attends an autism specialist school and uses Loop experience earplugs almost all the time. They block out loud sounds but enable him to hear conversations etc.

We tried ear defenders as ds hates noises but he couldn’t cope with the feeling of them 🤦‍♀️😂

The TV up to 100 is a good analogy for me. Professionals are saying they might be useful. I’d give it go. Both are no / low risk interventions.

My sons don't like wearing ear defenders so will avoid it if possible. However they both gladly wear them in certain circumstances. They are absolutely necessary in some circumstances to ensure their comfort.
Why on earth wouldn't you want your child to be more comfortable.
Honestly I'd try them but also start reading up on things like this and educating yourself more. Your thinking is skewed imo. As others have said adding unnecessary stress to a child in the hope they learn to tolerate it better is likely to be counterproductive.

Look up a “sensory diet” it’s not just food it’s different items that can be used through out the day to help sensory seeking young people regulate themselves. For example my DD has glue tac to play with, a wobble cushion, likes raw carrot uncooked pasta, or frozen peas to eat, will do spinning or stroking fluffy things plus a key ring popper. Lots of small low cost things that help plus ear pods with a talking book or music really help she’s 11 at secondary school. They also have a light room and she plays the piano. Many of these things no one would notice out of the ordinary but they massively help her autistic mind cope in daily life. Please let your child use headphones and chew stuff if that’s what is needed or your may end up with a lot more meltdowns that needed when they are overwhelmed.

I've bought these some children in my class as the school bought ones were really tight and uncomfortable. They choose when to wear them and put stickers on so they know whose is whose.
https://www.screwfix.com/p/ear-defenders-27-6db-snr/6191d

Learning an instrument is a great call out and was revolutionary for us.
Another was sport where they had their own object rather than a while team competing so hockey, mini golf for fun.

As someone who didn't have chews for their son when he was small.... (I don't think they were common 20 years ago)... I wish we had.

I have a 26 year old son who chews through (and swallows) his t shirts, hoodies, paper, plastic, wood and as we discovered to our horror recently, bit of metal.

He needs to chew. He's verbal so quite able, but he has high sensory needs and it's too late for chewelry now.

Headphones, and chews enable children to cope, that's all. Many children grow out of the need, but if they don't... it would be better than chipped teeth like my son now has from meeting his chewing needs his own way :/

I don't use them. my son is 4 , he would previously have been classed as non verbal and severe.
I absolutely didn't purchase headphones or chew toys, he comes out and about, travels long haul, behaves wonderfully in the shops. It wasn't always like that.

It's been a journey and it makes me so sad to see kids with the ear defenders, I always wander if their parents ever tried to figure out what the cause of the sensory needs were other than a medical label.

Your child has additional needs. You vent acclimatise him out of that. You need to support and make his life easier, not cause distress by acclimatisation.

One of mine used chew buddies but as a distraction because before that they chewed everything else, and I mean everything. It was sensory seeking behaviour and we made it safe by providing the tools to control that.

you CANT

Imagine your child needed a wheelchair. Would you just get to try harder to walk? Horrible ableism. It’s likely your child is masking and may eventually end up in burn out.

Try both out in lots of different contexts- classroom, car, church, sofa watching tv, etc. Note the effect on your child at that point and afterwards. Ask them if they like ear defenders/chewy toy at that time.

It makes you sad to see parents meeting their child's needs?

If professionals are suggesting these things, it can't hurt to try. As he gets older, you may find his needs become more apparent and diagnosis follows.

I'm 33, and use ear defenders at home for Bonfire Night, and earplugs in public at loud events. I cannot cope with sudden loud noises, and also find crowded events overwhelming. I wish I'd done it years ago but my family tried to acclimatize me to these things - all it led to was upset and me lashing out physically at times as I could not cope.

I also have some other sensory behaviours which include twirling my hair, chewing my lips and fidgeting with whatever I can get my hands on. If anyone knows any good alternatives for the hair twirling, please shout up - my hair gets greasy anyway and this doesn't help. The lip chewing doesn't happen often but is a sign I'm REALLY stressed or struggling.

I have no formal diagnosis but suspect there is something there.

Yabu to feel sad.

I have autism and certain noises are literally like a drill going off in my head. Just the most horrendous pain / over stimulus you could imagine. No amount of therapy would change that. I’m wired differently. I used to spend every lunch time at school being physically sick because the noise bothered me that much. This was the 80s when autism in girls wasn’t recognised as much as it is now. I would have killed for ear defenders.

It's a bit weird to be boastful about neglecting your child's needs.

@ppure what do you mean by the "cause" for needing ear defenders?? Children you see out and about with them are likely autistic or another similar condition. That's the cause. There's no cure, there's meeting their needs and adapting what can be adapted around them to help them manage. Your feelings of sadness are not needed, welcomed nor helpful.

My son with ASD also used them when he was younger and no longer does

"Medical Label"? You mean diagnosis?

Your poor son. I hope he has someone in his life who cares about him enough to get him the help he needs.

My daughter has them. They allow her to relax and focus on the matter in hand rather than being afraid unpredictable noise will happen. She chooses when to wear them and now sometimes will take them off when she's comfortable.

DS used to need ear defenders for music in church, fireworks etc. They made a huge difference to him but he hardly uses them now and actually sways along to the music in church now.
Don't assume that he will need them forever.

Your strategy, although well meaning, is misguided.

If your child is struggling with noise, his anxiety will be sky high and he'll be utterly exhausted from trying to process sensory overload. Not allowing him to use ear defenders to ease his discomfort is unfair and wrong.

Some kids with sensory issues chew to self-soothe and manage an over-stimulated sensory system. Or to get sensory input if they struggle with proprioceptive senses. There will be a reason why they are chewing and you need to address the reason not the behaviour if you want to help your child. My child went through a stage of chewing and ruined his school uniform. Giving him opportunity to move in school and stimulate his proprioceptive sense has really helped cut down on the chewing. His TA gets him to walk barefoot on bean-bags and bounce on therapy balls. It helps.

SEN children often chew things, it helps them regulate emotions, stopping this is detrimental to their well being, this can be for the whole of their lives.
Lots of SEN children have to wear ear defenders they won’t just get use to noises, this can also follow into adulthood.
U need to speak with school as it seems u haven’t been given the whole picture and think they will suddenly get over it.