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Original poster

Costs of raising child to adulthood

29 replies

geraniumsrojo · 01/02/2023 19:27

DH and I are trying to decide whether to switch to much lower paying jobs. It would be hard to switch back. Right now, with young kids, we could afford it. But we aren't sure how that will change as the kids grow. So we are trying to make a list of costs for the next few decades.

Obviously there is:
Mortgage/rent
Utility bills

Then:
Nursery fees
School supplies and trips
After school childcare
Holiday childcare
Extra-curricular activities
University

What are we missing?

OP posts:
Coffeeandcrocs · 01/02/2023 19:29

Clothing/shoes
Hobbies and interests

BHRK · 01/02/2023 19:29

All the money they need as teenagers for socialising and branded clothes!
do you want to help them with a house deposit?
honestly, you might want to switch to lower paid jobs now while they are little… but when they are older they will really need your cash (as well as your support obviously)

PuttingDownRoots · 01/02/2023 19:33

Food
Holidays
Birthdays and Christmas
Pocket money
Technology

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Childcare & nursery Families
17CherryTreeLane · 01/02/2023 19:35

Don't underestimate the cost of teens. I have two, and the one at uni is slowly bleeding me dry. And I earn a decent salary!

2anddone · 01/02/2023 19:38

Driving lessons, branded clothing, costs if they excel at an extra curricular activity ( I spent £400 this weekend alone on travel, accommodation, food and dance comp fees), pocket money, socialising.....trust me they get much much more expensive as they get older!

Mumuser124 · 01/02/2023 19:42

Teenagers are beyond expensive (girls). My daughter goes out with friends at least once a month costs roughly £60, then has skin care which costs £100, phone £40, and then all the extra can I have this and that. And they just eat constantly! My food bill for mum,dad,little one and a teenager is £160 a week. When teenager went away for a week, it was £75!

Also now saving for driving lessons and a car next year and she will need a laptop for college. Prom is costing around £350 this year also. I never comprehended how much one teenager could cost!

LittleMrsPerfect · 01/02/2023 19:45

Braces, the NHS threshold is very low now.

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 01/02/2023 19:45

It's totally variable. My teens don't want branded clothes, they didn't/ won't go to uni. I can't afford driving lessons, they can pay for their own. Other than the occasional trip to McDonald's they don't spend a load of money going out.

My teens are (based on MN) very unusual though.

BertieBotts · 01/02/2023 19:49

I think the above has covered it mostly.

Would also add

Bus pass
Redecorating bedroom, buying furniture etc

ZebraKid71 · 01/02/2023 19:49

Depends on your kids, and your family. Loads of people cant/won't pay for branded clothes, expensive skin care, latest phones etc for their kids. They do get more expensive but just like anything aemge you live within your means and teach your kids to do the same.

BertieBotts · 01/02/2023 19:50

Obviously you don't have to cover everything that somebody else covers but it should give an idea.

Pocket money, digital stuff like Spotify/games

LittleMrsPerfect · 01/02/2023 19:51

I think I meant a high threshold, as in teeth have to be really really bad for nhs braces

Sucessinthenewyear · 01/02/2023 19:55

Sports equipment
Subscription eg Disney, spotify
Learning resources eg tell the time clock, maths games,
weekend/holiday days out
Medication - so far in the last few weeks I’ve bought cream for eczema, branded version of prescription medication as DD1 couldn’t stand the one prescribed, new ear balloon for glue ear, worming medication - we need to buy more to repeat in two weeks, nurofen.
Equipment for cub and D of E

titchy · 01/02/2023 19:58

School meals, travel to and from school/college. Parties. Hobby kit - you'll need another mortgage if either decide to play the harp! Plus a new car to transport it.

whizzpopping · 01/02/2023 19:59

I'm not sure it's possible to predict with any kind of accuracy what your expenses might be over the next 15+ plus years (although I admire your attempt to do so). Way too many variables including macroeconomic factors. Keep your higher paying jobs.

Heli1copter · 01/02/2023 20:02

Swimming lessons
Music lessons
Sports clubs
Hobbies
Gadgets and games like Switch, xbox
Holidays
Bicycles
Endless shoes (they grow so fast and shoes are expensive if you want proper fitting ones)
Clothes
Once teens phone/tablet/laptop. Our school sends all homework via Teams so we need something to access and submit homework
Craft supplies, art stuff
Birthday parties (our last one cost £400 to hire venue, food etc for a 2 hour party)
Driving lessons
Duke of Edinburgh/Scout/Guides
Trains/bus pass
University fees
House deposit
Wedding contrbution

I could go on forever. As parents we all want the best for our DC but we have to live within our means too!

arethereanyleftatall · 01/02/2023 20:04

You could spend as much as you/they want on teenagers, or as little. There isn't a figure. Dance lessons can run in to thousands for example.

Dogsarebetterthanhumans · 01/02/2023 20:06

If they get good at a hobby then naturally they may (and I do say ‘may’) want to take it further and compete at it.
Say it’s a sport; equipment, training fees, competition fees, training kit and competition kit, travel, food, accommodation, training camps etc

Fairydustandsparklylights · 01/02/2023 20:10

LittleMrsPerfect · 01/02/2023 19:51

I think I meant a high threshold, as in teeth have to be really really bad for nhs braces

Out of curiosity, how much have braces cost you? I didn’t even consider that as n expense.

Beezknees · 01/02/2023 20:10

I'm a single parent, had a baby at 18. None of those costs crossed my mind. I just winged it, and I'm still winging it.

House deposit? Paying for a wedding? Fuck that. DS can pay for that himself. He'll always have a roof over his head here, but he'll be making his own way in the world like I did.

Ragwort · 01/02/2023 20:12

A lot of these costs aren't essential .. my teenager had a part time job from 13 (starting with a paper round) and I wouldn't dream of paying for designer clothes or a social life. We are now contributing towards Uni (topping up the maintenance loan) but 'extras' and 'treats' are entirely up to him.

Vallmo47 · 01/02/2023 20:12

How long is a piece of string OP?
I’m not trying to be rude, but … honestly this is an impossible question and you really need to cater for very personal “whims” as well. Meaning - do you like branded clothing? Where will you shop for the child? Do you graciously accept second hand clothing or do you just adore boys/young men wearing the latest sporty trend? I’ve never introduced my kids to big brands, they get non branded trainers and clothing. But the kids will be influenced by other outside influences at some point. What do you think is reasonable to spend for birthdays/Xmas? Double it, because mummy guilt is the worst. Like others have pointed out, it can be as expensive as you allow it to be. I take my kids out every weekend for a family day- for a long walk to a local park with surrounding woods. But if you decide to do a day out at the zoo/cinema/shopping centre, well. How long is a piece of string indeed.

AHelpfulHand · 01/02/2023 20:19

Shoes, they grow out of them very quickly.

it all depends on what you want for your child.

shoes from an independent shoe shop or from Asda?

food from Lidl or Ocado?

clothes from the supermarket/high street or designer.

then there is school uniform, clothes for at home, school shoes, shoes for at home etc

milk money, dinner money, school trip money etc.

the list is endless for how much and what you need for a child until adulthood.

InvincibleInvisibility · 01/02/2023 20:34

A lot of the things listed are nice to haves - but you will want to give your child at least some of them and other things really are necessary.

My 11 year old has always worn cheapo trainers no problem. He's hyperactive and his sport was judo... it was fine.

He now has size 6 feet and has been complaining about his school shoes hurting and his trainers (he now plays tennis). Result = we can no longer buy cheapo shoes but have to get decent ones costing €€€€ (non branded).

He grows incredibly fast so regularly needs new trousers and tshirts and swim shorts and and and

He loves reading and devours books. No library where we are so we're spending a small fortune on books for his kindle (mainly in the form of birthday and Christmas presents).

He eats LOADS.

He's dyspraxic and has needed motricity help - this cost us 300€ a month for 6 months.

Lastly, his school makes it mandatory to have a chromebook (we re not in the UK). That was not cheap!

I don't think house deposit/wedding contribution etc. Is necessary

But I do think DC cost more as they get older. Mine spent weeks playing in the park in the school holidays when they were younger. Now they're older they need activities to keep them active and that all costs

Kendodd · 01/02/2023 20:57

This thread has been a massive eye opener for me (not in a good way). When did we become such a consumerist society? It sounds to me OP, that if you want to take lower paid jobs, buying 'stuff' doesn't matter too much to you. If this is the case, hopefully your children will share the same values (although they might not) and you can dump half the stuff listed as not needed.