How do I distance myself from a close friendship without hurting my friend?

[TrickyStickyFriendship]

I've namechanged for this, but post regularly.

Friend and I have been close since our teens were babies, and our families became good friends. Over the years, as life has moved on, we've seen each other less and less. Now a few times a year, sometimes for lunch together or with our kids. Our children are no longer friends and have little in common, which is awkward. The last few times we have met, I have felt uncomfortable and anxious afterwards. The reality is that we are both very different people to the ones we were 15 years ago, and share very little in common. We haven't had an argument, there's been no betrayal or unkindness. I just feel our lifestyles and value systems have so little in common there is no mileage in the friendship any more, and being around her isn't 'good' for me. She is fundamentally a nice person (although doesn't always have 'nice' views) and I do not wish to hurt her feelings, but I really need to distance myself from the friendship. Is it best to say something? just to let things drift? To be busy for say, the next six years? Any thoughts appreciated.

But the fact is that often there isn't anything the other person has "done wrong". They're just either or your cup of tea or you have better friends who you want to prioritise. Neither of these scenarios necessitate "the talk". The drift is kinder and actually probably pretty honest.

I deleted someone from fb who I hadn't socialized with in person or otherwise in several years. We were friends since uni. I had sent a birthday and Christmas card and didn't receive any acknowledgment despite exchanging cards for several years. After deleting her as a friend she sent me a very angry message saying she would never delete me and was totally shocked I had done that to her. I replied that I didn't mean to upset her and that I genuinely thought we had drifted apart; hadn't spoken in years, no more card exchanges etc. Never heard from her again. 🤷‍♀️

I had a friend essentially dump me once telling me she found me too much and it hurt me more than any break up I've ever had with a romantic partner. Conversely, I've also let go of a couple of friends once through a row and at other times by simply not responding or being unavailable. It's not always easy but people change and sometimes friendships change and what may have served you 15 years ago no longer works for you... it's human nature though to try and avoid causing pain to ourselves or the other person and I think the kinder thing is to simply let things drift and be less available....