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Original poster

What is an acceptable amount of presents from 'santa'

71 replies

BT11 · 27/11/2022 22:33

Just wondering what everyone feels is an acceptable amount of presents from 'Santa' 'Father Christmas' or whatever tradition is celebrated in your home at Christmas?

Personally I was raised with one gift & stocking from Father Christmas and all other gifts (if there were any) were from my parents. They said it was so I wouldn't expect too much from santa and that it was to remind me that they loved me too.

Just to add - there are some parents I used to see on Facebook when I used it with a whole living room full of presents from 'santa' and I would worry that other children might feel upset that Santa didn't get them as much.

I am due my first child soon and I know the whole idea won't become something we do for a few years but just curious how other parents do this? 🙂

OP posts:

suzyscat · 28/11/2022 07:19

MarigoldPetals · 27/11/2022 22:47

The joy is in the giving. Not in getting the most thanks.

It's not about thanks, it's about other children at school thinking that they've done something wrong because other kids get lots or tablets/ consoles when they didn't.

Sereyah · 28/11/2022 07:22

Honestly it’s personal preference. My children used to get far too much and all that happened was they were overwhelmed, things were left in boxes and by June were still unopened as they had no interest. The problem for me was that I have a lot of family members buying presents and friends so this meant so much was added to the pile I bought. This year I’m buying one main present, a few small and then a stocking. I’ve budgeted 500.00 each which I think is an awful lot but this is due to my sons main present being 300.00 due to this age (preteen gamer),my little girl will be getting a pram and a few dolls. I don’t see the point in getting stressed and going overboard. I’ve spent more on Xmas decorations for the front of the house this year as they will be more excited by that than the presents. I say this as my daughter is currently playing with the baubles out of a package I’ve had delivered yesterday.

MinnieMountain · 28/11/2022 07:24

I remember having a passionate argument with a friend about this when we were 5. Father Christmas brought the presents in her house, stocking only in mine.

Interested in this thread?

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Christmas Events & celebrations General shopping

TeenDivided · 28/11/2022 07:25

Stockings only from Santa here.

My adopted DD had made up her own story why Santa missed her first 6 Christmases, then she had loads in foster care, so when she came to us we said the loads in foster care were to make up for missing the earlier ones, and stockings only was what would happen.

She didn't like the idea of a strange man in the house, so stocking went in the conservatory and Dad brought it upstairs 'if it was full when he went to bed'.

tiggergoesbounce · 28/11/2022 07:26

Santa brings everything in our house. We love the magic of it. Then family give their own presents.

There will always be children who get less and children who get more. We dont do the " you need to be good" to get presents from him though.

Original poster

BT11 · 28/11/2022 07:59

I fell asleep!

These answers are really useful. There really is no one way to do it and it's a lot of food for thought.

I am new to Mumsnet and a new mum to be! I'm really conscious not to repeat everything that was done when I was a child and to try new parenting ideas as things have changed a lot since I was young (I'm 30 now).

My DH family celebrated Christmas with gifts and dinner etc. But Santa was not something ever mentioned at home. He loved Christmas as much as anyone else so some children really are not fussed 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:

usernotfound0000 · 28/11/2022 08:01

Mine write to Santa asking for 4 or 5 things. Price depending Santa will usually get 3 or 4 of them. He also gives a stocking. Then they get presents that they know are from us.

Goldbar · 28/11/2022 08:07

DC gets one large present from us, which goes in the pile under the tree.

Then Santa brings the stocking and usual several medium presents (game, book, dressing-gown) that go beside the stocking.

We don't feel the need to compete with Santa 😄.

Our 5yo doesn't have a clue about the value of money or what is done in other houses, and has asked for some slime, the mousetrap game and a large chocolate reindeer for Christmas. They also want a dog but they're not getting that!!! I'm assuming that by the time they're old enough to realise that other people do things differently (for example, comparing on social media), they'll be past believing in Santa anyway.

LiveshipParagon · 28/11/2022 08:08

Father Christmas brings a stocking per child. Very very occasionally he will bring an additional present, usually addressed to the whole family.

When we did DD1's first Christmas it was interesting comparing notes with DH about childhood Christmases. He had always received a sack of presents from Santa, which I found shocking. But then, I'd only ever left out the largest of my dad's socks that I could find! We do a compromise with our kids: it's always the same stocking, never an actual sock, and it's nowhere near sack/pillowcase size. For DD2's first Christmas we managed to find a second stocking made by the same brand too, so it's nice that they have "same but different" stockings to leave out.

We don't do Christmas Eve boxes or elf on the shelf.

bellsbuss · 28/11/2022 08:10

Santa only brings sticking gifts in our house , tree presents are from us.

Weepingwillows12 · 28/11/2022 08:10

We do stocking and a gift (but not big expensive main gift) from Father Christmas. When the kids were young we discussed it and decided that might be better for us as our kids have lots of cousins, not all of whom have a lot of money so we didn't want them comparing and asking why Father Christmas gave more to one than another. Whatever works for you though.

jannier · 28/11/2022 08:12

I don't understand the everything from Santa choice. How do children accept Santa doesn't love them as much as next door who got the mega expensive gift they wanted? I think it's nice for them to thank the real gift givers

PinkHeadphones · 28/11/2022 08:18

Father Christmas brings the stocking presents, big gifts are from whoever they are from. Otherwise what do you do if your financial circumstances change? Have the kids feel they have been less good because FC has brought fewer gifts? Also if kids think Santa brings all the presents, there is no reason he can’t bring them x, y or z which is way too expensive.
We did it this way as kids and do it now as parents but I had to say FC is a lot more generous in terms of stocking presents than he was when I was young (we didn’t have much money). We’d have a lot of exciting small things that my parents had gone to some trouble to source and were usually completely believable as things Santa might have made in his workshop as they weren’t commonly seen in shops - think my mum had quite a few weird catalogue subscriptions. Now the kids will have things like books, games, music etc, which would have been main presents for us.

RobinRobinMouse · 28/11/2022 08:23

@jannier For me I hope my dd doesn't associate presents with love. Also not sure I associate Father Christmas with love, or would want dd to. In our home he is just magic, that's all there is to it and magic is different for everyone. We don't need her to thank us, the magic and her happiness is enough. Of course she thanks others who give her gifts (grandparents etc.)

I work with children and find that while children may compare what gifts they get, they are rarely bothered about what was from who when it comes down to it.

jannier · 28/11/2022 09:05

RobinRobinMouse · 28/11/2022 08:23

I work with children and find that while children may compare what gifts they get, they are rarely bothered about what was from who when it comes down to it.

I've had children of 5 comparing gifts and however we want our own children to feel you definitely do get asked why Santa brings x y z to some and others get nothing especially with so much on TV about poverty etc. I'm supporting a family at the moment who have school age children alongside EYFS and things came out last year like x got things off of their list but Santa didn't bring me anything like that does he not love me now like daddy doesn't ....family split....
It's also not about expecting thanks but I do think children should appreciate the gift and thank people for them.

greenacrylicpaint · 28/11/2022 09:07

none
possibly a token gift from the santa in the mall.

Danni675 · 28/11/2022 09:11

Whatever you want. Santa only brings stocking presents here but they tend to be quite nice presents.

I think the worry about kids comparing and concluding some other kid is more favoured by Santa is a bit overstated. IME kids don't really discuss it in that much detail and happily accept that things work differently in different houses. I've also always avoided suggesting that Santa rewards children for being good (Stasi elf on the shelf etc) as that's all a bit grim and manipulative.

Topbird29 · 28/11/2022 09:17

We do a stocking from santa with smaller bits, with one big thing from santa. These get opened at breakfast time/when get up. The rest are from us, each other and wider family. Ours are opened in the morning - usually after breakfast and our shower and start to feel awake.The bigger santa gift is usually lego, so kids do have something to do whilst waiting. Presents from other people are usually opened when they are given them, so not always xmas day. This tends to spread it out. We did make the error of getting a sack rather than a stocking though (and named). So have had to be creative some years with bulking it out a bit - cushions fleeces and dressing gown were good for this! Also can't do the swop of a full one for the empty one on bottom of bed - so have always had sack downstairs. Easily reasoned when we had fireplace downstairs. So if doing smaller stocking, buy small from the start, and if want to drop over, buy a duplicate. We would have had no way of sneaking in to get a sack and returning it filled. Kids that didn't get to sleep easily, and then probably would have woken up in the process!

icecreamplease · 28/11/2022 09:40

I grew up with all of the presents being from Father Christmas & as a child I don't recall anyone comparing who got what from whom, it was more excitement of what presents me and my friends received. Interested to know everyone's personal experience with this growing up?

I intend to do the same with my children until they stop believing.

You probably only have about 7 years of your children "believing" in the magic of Santa. After that they know all the gifts come from you anyway so you can take all the credit then🤣

That's just my view but everyone does it differently ☺️

JenniferBarkley · 28/11/2022 09:46

jannier · 28/11/2022 08:12

I grew up in a very wealthy area but we were what my mum would have termed "very normal" - no worries over food or bills but there certainly wasn't a new bike under the tree every year.

We were told that expensive toys are expensive to make, and so it's not nice to ask Santa for something very expensive, just like it wouldn't be nice to ask grandparents or aunts and uncles for something expensive.

Always worked well for us, although I did think some classmates were very greedy

merryhouse · 28/11/2022 17:21

Father Christmas brings the stocking.

Which is all unwrapped.

Real Presents are from Real People.

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