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Any advice on moving to the US from the UK?

26 replies

NameChangeLifeChange · 05/11/2022 19:50

DH and I would like to move to the US with two small children. I am a nurse, DH is a civil engineer. How feasible is this? I’ve looked into converting my nursing degree and you go through the states own process for this and do an online exam- seems fairly straightforward. It’s harder to get details on DH- he is chartered with 10 years experience and high up in his company currently.

If anyone has emigrated to the US ma she’s advice please let m know! We aren’t dead set on an area yet but likely Washington state or Maine.

Thanks!

OP posts:
NameChangeLifeChange · 05/11/2022 20:18

Bump

OP posts:
MolliciousIntent · 05/11/2022 20:21

Well, first of all, I wouldn't. Gun violence, school shooting, no universal healthcare, access to abortion being stripped away, high cost of living, poor state education, terrible nutrition, etc etc etc. What do you think life in the US will offer that the UK can't?

MumOfNowGrownupKids · 05/11/2022 20:21

DH and I moved to the US in the 80's and lived in Southern California for 3 years. We were quite surprised by how conservative it was. We enjoyed our time there but wouldn't move back now. The idea of Trump in charge terrifies me!

MumOfNowGrownupKids · 05/11/2022 20:22

If you really want North America, how about Canada?

NameChangeLifeChange · 05/11/2022 20:26

@MolliciousIntent higher income potential, access to outdoors and more outdoorsy lifestyle. We appreciate we would need to pay for health insurance etc. we would likely move somewhere more open minded (possibly Seattle or similar). Guns are a concern. Have looked at Canada too but you need ££££ in the bank and it’s very expensive to live there (also not sure on the trans stuff there currently)

OP posts:
NameChangeLifeChange · 05/11/2022 20:26

@MumOfNowGrownupKids that’s interesting, did you enjoy living there?

OP posts:
falllakes · 05/11/2022 20:28

The easiest way to do this as a Brit is to to an inter company transfer.
This means getting the company you work for to transfer you over to a USA role.

falllakes · 05/11/2022 20:29

There is a living overseas section on Mumsnet.

Frazzled2207 · 05/11/2022 20:32

Have you looked into whether you could get a visa?

BigWheels · 05/11/2022 20:36

If youre planning tp stay long term you will need to make provisions to fund university for your children. Higher education in the states is very expensive and if you children decide to study in the UK they will likely be treated as international students and charged the higher fees given the amount of time they have spent living outside of the UK.

Also look in to pension provisons and see if you will be able to work enough years in the US to have access to a full state pension. Also check out 401s and other options for saving for retirement. And when signing up for any retirement plans etc make sure you know what the situation will be if you decide to return to the UK after all. Some retirment plans will have heavy penalties for closure or some may not even allow withdrawls until you reach a certain age.

Neighneigh · 05/11/2022 20:37

My parents lived in Boston for a while and it was great - the coastal cities are much more European in their outlook. I wouldn't go anywhere in the middle (sweeping generalisation but that's my view). To be honest though it's a highly polarised society and that will get worse with the upcoming elections - honestly I wouldn't go for a good few years. If you're a nurse in the UK you will find the US healthcare system pretty terrifying.

Greenshake · 05/11/2022 20:42

I don’t think it’s going to be anywhere as easy as you think.

Aria999 · 05/11/2022 20:42

We did, 6 years ago. We went to Los Angeles for 3 years and now we are in Pittsburgh.

Are you confident you can get a visa?

It is as pp said a very divided society and is quite worrying.

That said it still feels like a good place to be during the UK's current slow motion train wreck.

Would be interesting to know why pp thinks you would find the healthcare system alarming. It's a lot better funded (and currently a lot more accessible) than the nhs. You do need insurance but I imagine as a health care employee you would get a good deal from your employer (as would your DH as a senior professional).

No499 · 05/11/2022 20:43

Firstly, how are you planning on moving here? On what visa? It's very difficult just to move here, one you would most likely need to make an internal company transfer. That's not an option for you, what about your DH?
I live in the US and love it. Despite some of the negatives, I have a much better quality of life here out here, but it took a good few years to get all the paperwork/visas in place.

vinoandbrie · 05/11/2022 20:45

The best way, as per a previous poster, is for your husband’s company to transfer him to their US offices.

CocktailNapkin · 05/11/2022 20:46

I mean, you could take your chances in the US or what, wait here and see how much worse the NHS gets? Or how much closer the politics in the UK trends ever closer, or surpasses, what is going on in the US? Honestly...

With those two careers you have a good shot at one of the two of you getting a visa as both tend to be in demand. Washington is a great option if you want that outdoorsy life, though cost of living will be high and Seattle has a pretty significant homeless problem. Maine tends to be more conservative and a 'who was your family' type place - Vermont, upstate NY, or Mass may be good options. Or parts of Virginia or North Carolina. Anywhere with a strong research and development base will likely have a liberal outlook. I mean, Minneapolis is in the centre of the country and the Mayo Clinic is near there, and its also ultra liberal and has a LOT of outdoor living going on with a very healthy population.

All its going to take is some significant legwork to find the opportunities for an employer to sponsor you or your husband, but its something you put time and effort into doing and plan for.

WoolyMammoth55 · 05/11/2022 20:52

My sister is a teacher and taught there for 3 years, in Democratic California.

She taught 4 and 5 year olds in early years settings. They had to do regular drills with the children of how to hide under the desks if someone tried to shoot them.

As a mum of 2 young kids myself there's no way I'd put my kids into the US school system. (I think it's inferior to the UK educationally also, from what she's said - banned books and that evolution is 'one theory', etc)

The trauma of kids going into school each day while seeing school shootings on the news every few months is no small thing.

Aria999 · 05/11/2022 20:57

I think it's a bit of a sweeping generalization to say the US school system is inferior to the UK. It's a big country!

Anecdotally I have heard things in both directions.

Around here it's not great and we have gone private.

Florajane · 05/11/2022 20:57

It's very unlikely that a US company would employ either of you without a visa. An intercompany transfer is the only option as was said upthread but then it's not automatic that you would be able to work I think.

Kabbalah · 05/11/2022 21:08

Worked the US for just over a year on a medical contract. The money was good and the ppl were lovely but all I did was work. I would loved to have travelled and seen more of the country but I never had any free time. I was glad to come home.

Aria999 · 05/11/2022 21:13

@Kabbalah that is a good point.

The standard annual leave is 2 weeks. Goes up to 4 if you stay a long time or they really want you. 5 or 6 weeks is unheard of.

DH is a research academic and I am trying to be a freelancer but a regular job would be a grind.

NameChangeLifeChange · 05/11/2022 21:43

Very true about the annual leave. I’ve done some research on jobs and if you have a job offer you can apply for a working visa but as you say it’s whether a company would bother hiring a Brit when they could hire we local more easily. Not sure if they’re experience the same recruitment difficulties we have here- if so we may be ok.
Thanks so much for all the advice though

OP posts:
PaperDoves · 05/11/2022 22:01

I've moved abroad a few times so I'm not the type to discourage people from trying something new and I understand the appeal of wanting to be elsewhere.

Yes, salaries are much higher in the US. They need to be -- Americans on average produce three to five times the carbon emissions of the average Brit. You'll spend a lot on food, a lot on petrol (it's cheaper but you'll suddenly find yourself spending hours a day in your car just to get the kids to school, go shopping, get across town, etc.) and a good 10-20% of your wage will go on health insurance. That's just to have the insurance, you'll also have co-pays and deductibles, where you have to pay the first, say, $10,000 of healthcare costs per person per year before your health insurance will start paying out. Your house will be much, much bigger than your house here, but if you're in Seattle, for instance, it will also cost more (assuming you don't have a big house in a leafy area of London at the moment). That's not true for all areas of the US, the west coast is the most expensive, no idea what Maine prices are like, or why you would move there.

If your kids are school aged, you'll have to learn to live with The Fear. You only hear about the bad school shootings, but they happen all the time. And even when they're not happening, there are lockdowns at the average school a couple times a year because someone threatened to bring in a gun or a bomb, so you'll be in a complete panic every once in a while because there's a "situation" even though in the end it was okay. If being panicked about your kid maybe being in danger is ever okay. All the moms I know these days shrug their shoulders throughout the school year and say you can't live in fear, but then admit they're so relieved when summer vacation starts because they can finally not worry about it for three months.

Speaking of, summer vacation is three months long. You will spend another 10% of your income on endless summer camps and activities for your wee ones because you'll probably need to actually go to work. Americans work, a lot. Holidays are short, paid time off is minimal, and if you have another baby you'll be lucky to get six weeks off. Work life balance is not part of our ethos.

I love America, I really do. 😅 I love the varied, beautiful landscapes and how kind everyone is (for the most part). I hate the culture of consumption, of violence, of entitlement. I really hate how every town looks the damn same because of the same chain restaurants, the same grocery stores, the same Targets.

The PNW is really beautiful, it's where I would move back to if I was forced to go back. But it rains, a lot. I always joke when people here ask me if I was shocked at the weather, because it rained a lot more back home than it does here. Still gorgeous, though! And you can go hiking and skiing in the mountains even in the rain/snow.

Still... I miss my family so much, but I will never go back.

MumOfNowGrownupKids · 06/11/2022 22:30

NameChangeLifeChange · 05/11/2022 20:26

@MumOfNowGrownupKids that’s interesting, did you enjoy living there?

We enjoyed the weather, and the ability to go body boarding after work. We enjoyed the canyons and the countryside. We went back about 10 years ago for a holiday when our children were teenagers. We found all the pretty canyons we remembered had been built over with faceless beige housing and the lovely canyon road into the city had been bulldozed and was a four lane highway. The traffic was horrendous and we cut short our two weeks where we used to live and headed for a national park. One point about health insurance, yes it's expensive but what really worried me was the fact that if you have a child with a pre existing condition (as a mother I knew did) you may be unable to get insurance, and can be literally bankrupted paying for health care. In that case, your only hope is to get a job with a large enough concern to have a company health scheme.... Oh, and not all health policies cover child birth, I was lucky that ours did.

QuizzlyBears · 06/11/2022 23:18

What type of visa are you considering trying to apply for? US immigration is incredibly strict.