What presents do you buy the youngest child whe the eldest already has most items?

[Justanothermanicday]

I have two daughters, one is 3, the other is approaching 1. The youngest is already playing mostly with her big sisters hand me downs. I'm really not sure what to do with regards to her 1st birthday as all the items I'd want to get, her sister already has them. Looking at it now, I realise we spoilt the eldest, but we were unsure we'd ever be lucky enough to have any more children so I think we just went for it. So what do I do now? What sort of things can I get? Do I get duplicate items of what her sister had for her 1st birthday?

No! No point buying her a new one of something you already own.

If you can't think of something she'd like, how about a family day out rather than a present?

I have 4 Dc very close in age and siblings have most toys & games passed down. The younger siblings get something to go with a passed down item they love or day out/experience they will enjoy. My experience is they care Little about stuff at that age and simple stuff makes them happy,

Things with their name on, basically anything personalised. Guarantees that you won’t already have one! Things like a plaque for their bedroom door, little stool/step, rucksack with their name on etc.

Not big things but they may be useful ideas for other people as the first ones don’t tend to last forever - lunchbox, water bottle, plastic tubs/Tupperware for snacks on the go/leftovers, clothes in different seasons, maybe an entire outfit that is new to the second child so that you have something that feels a bit more special, shoes, anything that goes into their mouths …

With dc3 they quite often got the present trapped for them at that age.They didn't care.

Rewrapped not trapped

Thankyou for these suggestions. Your comments have been really useful and made me think of some things I hadn't considered beforehand. I have really vivid memories of my own childhood of my older brother having lots of experiences I hadn't, eg 3 whole photshoots of him as a baby, none of me, every toy he asked for, I was lucky to get the chunky pencil from Longlest I was so desperate for. As an adult I understand that my Mum had different financial circumstances and also the trap of less photos of second born etc but as a child I really remember it hurting and so I never want my children to feel that way. But with the suggestions you guys have made or rewarding gifts and more personalised items etc I think that could be really useful. Thanks, really appreciated!

Great idea, I'm not going to feel guilty doing this knowing others do it too. X

Dial back on the presents now while they're both too little to remember, a few bits at Christmas and Birthdays but don't go overboard and then buy other stuff through the year for them to share. That way you don't end up with loads of unnecessary stuff or the older one always having more presents/having to buy tat for the younger one just so it looks the same.

If you need to bulk out a present pile go for stuff that gets used up (bubbles, stickers, playdoh, craft stuff).

I know people say she's only 1 she won't remember, but you'll remember and that's important too.

Something with her name on like a placemat or plate set, a nice new snowsuit or something cosy for the winter, a set of chunky crayons and paper that are just hers for when she can hold and scribble.

I agree that things that get used up like bubbles and playdough are always good. Put them in a nice box and make them be mainly for her so older dd doesn't get to mess them up.

My nieces and nephews and friends children all get a teddy with their name and the date on. Something exclusively theirs. My 25 year old god daughter has it sitting on the bed in the new home she has bought!

Age 1 my youngest got hand me downs wrapped up. Far too young to care, they mostly enjoyed the wrapping paper and the cake frosting.

By 2 they had quite different interests to oldest so they got a few things brand new.

Mine are different sexes and born in opposite seasons so I asked for clothes from relatives as like you we had all the toys already. I got DC2 a special teddy from her brother but we didn’t actually get her a present for her 1st birthday - she won’t remember! For her 2nd birthday this year I am going to wrap up her brother’s outgrown balance bike which she will adore.

I imagine as they get older their interests will diverge but for now I’m happy to save the money. No way would I buy duplicates of stuff we already had!

I have the exact same situation 3 year old Dd and a 10 month old dd, we already have all the big things from when dd1 was younger. Im getting dd2 a personalised toy box for her bedroom for her 1st birthday.

I used the money I would have spend on my sons first birthday on a pass to a local farm attraction for the family. Like you DS had more then he needed from his brother and cousin so no point in buying more stuff just for the sake of it. Plus the whole family got some fun out of it. I'm pregnant again and will probably do the same again until there old enough to express an interest in specific things that may differ from what they have.

Our hap is bigger so toys def got shifted out to the garage after DC1 which meant I could rewrap for DTwins.

Books, there's endless choices and new ones all the time

Unlike PPs, I'm not a huge fan of personalised items unless they can be used for years and years - it seems a bit wasteful if you can't hand it down or pass it on.

These are the things we got for DC1 that then got passed on to DC2:

• scramblebug
• play kitchen (never put away as DC1 has continued to play with it and now DC2 does too)
• megabloks and duplo (ditto)
• scooter
• balance bike

Also various things that family and friends gave us including play mat, ball pool, rocking horse, activity table, small trampoline, train set, etc.

I have given DC2 some extras that DC1 never had:

• Activity centre
• Pikler triangle
• SmartTrike

DC1 has a Yoto player which DC2 loves so I'm getting her one of her own for her second birthday.

Tbh I have sometimes felt guilty that DC2 gets mostly hand-me-downs but then I figure she is lucky because she gets all DC1's toys plus some new ones of her own.

From now on I'll try and get some joint gifts or things they'll both enjoy, particularly for Christmas, and for birthdays keep the gifts as small as I can get away with!

Oh and I got DC2 an Aquadoodle (never got around to getting one for DC1) and that went down well.

We also gave her some lovely crayons which is a smallish present but she's used them pretty much daily. They're Stabilo Woody ones and wipeable, which is a lifesaver!

Do you have a Little Tikes car? If not get one of those, both DCs have loved ours.

For DS2's first Christmas I stashed away the age appropriate toys and re-gifted them. He can't complain... DS1 was due over Christmas and was less than a week old so didn't get anything for his as we didn't know if he/she'd even be born by then. 😂

It gets easier as they get older and develop their own tastes. However DS1 has expensive tastes and DS2 is more modest, so we had the discrepency that DS1 would want a £85 Lego set, where DS2 would want a £5 ball. DS2 then balances up more long term by taking part in more extra curricular activities.

Fairness is more about meeting needs as individuals than treating identically.

Agree with PPs ideas of getting things that get used up- there is no point in buying duplicates for the sake of it. At 1 year old, most of the fun is ripping the paper off and playing with the boxes 😆

In your shoes I would get her a really lovely teddy or other soft toy, does she have a favourite animal? Other than that, a few other ideas-

-some bubble bath
-bubbles for you to blow for her
-a box of tissues (sounds mad but this was DS's favourite thing, he loved pulling the tissues out. I stuffed them back in and he repeated the fun again and again)
-a personalised bowl and plate set that's big enough to be used as she gets older too
-jazzy toothbrush
-a nice new winter coat or snowsuit
-finger paints and a big roll of paper (you can get huge rolls on Amazon that will cover the table, much less messy with clumsy toddler hands)

That reminds me - paint sticks. A bit less messy than actual paint.

going forward can you make an effort to put the older DD’s outgrown toys away and then wrap them like a gift for the younger DD. For example my friends older child had outgrown the LeapFrog Ice cream truck (£40 ish to buy new so a big ish gift) instead of just leaving it in the playroom she removed it and then wrapped it up for the 2 year olds birthday. She does this with toys big and small. She will then sometimes but not always put the money she would have spent into both childrens sa I ha account.

Are their birthdays at the same time of year? Mine are two and a half years apart and also we moved from a flat to a house with a garden when DS1 was three. So spring born DS2 tended to get the larger, garden based items that autumn born DS1 hadn’t - sand and water tray, trampoline, wheelbarrow etc.

I was quite against buying them the same thing and having duplicates especially when I thought the item was too old for the younger one, but after one sad Christmas where the four year old got an Octonauts thing and the younger one a dressing up costume - I can still remember the heart breaking sadness in the two year olds face, he really wanted that Gup X and he was so good about it - I completely changed my mind and they had fun playing with their identical items together.

New things for existing biggies. For example if DD1 has a wooden kitchen with all the bits, get a whole new set of different food /plates etc. If she has a big dolls house, then a new family with new furniture.
as they get older, if she has a remote control car, get an equivalent forbDD2 so they can race.

In a perfect world, they’ll play together and merge their things and the big ticket items will evolve into ‘ours’ rather than ‘mine’ though likely they’ll still fight and you’ll have to referee it forever!

No you don't get duplicates, not even if you have a huge house with a ton of storage.

at that age you can wrap up a bunch of her sisters outgrown toys & they'll both be excited.

Put the savings away (add to it at Christmas) & buy a swing set/paddling pool/slide or something between them next summer.

don't waste money or resources buying for the sake of it.