Picky eater...does it get better?

[Lovelyweatherinlondon]

I'm so frustrated with DD (4.5), I'm going crazy. We are abroad for holidays and she barely eats anything, doesn't like any food here apart from home made chips, one type of fish and home grown chicken (just the drumsticks) from my mum's garden. No veggies apart from cucumbers and barely any fruits. Doesn't like any milk, cheese or yougurts here.

She is a picky eater back home but we have more options which are not available here. This really came as a shock as I didn't think she'd be quite as bad and makes me reconsider holidays abroad.

She was underweight last time I checked her at the hospital back home and looks skinny.

Does this get any better?!!! She is wonderful in every other way, but this drives me mad!

My youngest was a picky eater, for a while I thought he only ate anything as a way to get ketchup into his body. Happy to say as a teenager he became more adventurous and not, at 21, he eats most things.

I'm so glad to hear that @Thursa

I used to be a bit picky as a child but I absolutely loved fruits and veggies. I really don't understand how can you not like melons, figs, peaches, plums, nice juicy and meaty tomatoes fresh from the garden..arggghh!!

Yes it gets better. Keep offering, don't make a battle field. I really thought I'd failed at one point with dd. She ate NO carbs except strawberries. NO meat. She existed on veg and fruit (sounds great but actually is awful for health and she was tiny- a wraith!) we are an adventurous eating family. I love to cook. We just kept offering, not making a big deal. Now she eats bread pasta and potatoes. All the veg. All the fruits. Honestly - she's still
Limited in meat options.

Yes I despair we can't go for Thai or sushi, but really- she'll eat French, Italian, british, Spanish, and most non fish or rice cuisines. She's not fussy compared to some of the friends my children bring home- 15 year olds who will only eat chicken nuggets and chips for example. At 12 my youngest is now more adventurous than many and healthy and happy. About 8 was when she started to turn- and we had to make effort not to be excited or even "notice" it .

My DC(7) started becoming fussy at 14 months old and it’s never improved. He was under a dietician for 18 months from age 4 and they said he’s just fussy, keep offering a wide variety of food, and he’ll eventually grow out of it. He hasn’t eaten vegetables since about 18 months old and rarely eats fruit now either. He has a relentless hankering for sweet food. It’s soul-destroying sometimes.

I’m still waiting him to even start growing out of the fussiness!

The one thing that has helped my DD, who's 4 is getting her her own cookbooks and getting her involved in the cooking process.
She hasn't eaten it every time but today we ate 2 new things!!!!
We still have fights but at the moment we are getting there!

My brother was extremely picky as a kid. He would eat sausages (only one specific brand), mash (but only either my mum's or my grandma's), cheddar cheese, ketchup. I think at one point he would eat scrambled egg but then he went off that too. I hate to tell you that he didn't improve as a child or a teen. He broadened his horizons when he went to uni, couldn't be arsed to cook for himself and had a flatmate who took pity on him and prepared all their meals. His friend was a more adventurous eater so he had to get used to veggies, curries, spices, herbs and actual flavours. Now he's a proper grown up, he's a real foodie and an excellent cook himself. The most adventurous eater I know, probably.

DH's brother has an almost identical backstory and also only improved when he went to uni.

I always feel it's terribly unfair when people instantly judge the parents of picky children. DH and I would eat anything as kids and we grew up alongside these very picky eaters. It's not always the case that parents are responsible for creating the issue.

I am struggling so badly with this. DD7's diet is thankfully well balanced, but so, so limited. She is incredibly resistant to trying new things, and even when persuaded has clearly decided she hates it before it's even passed her lips. DH and I love such a broad range of foods and it breaks my heart that she's missing out - and may always do so.

I'm really hoping to see some positive stories on this thread.

My 14yo hasn’t improved yet, he eats no fruit or veg and has always been a nightmare to cook for. My 7yo is pretty poor too although slightly better than 14. I really hope they improve at some point!
I have a 17yo who eats a good range of food and has improved as he’s got older and a 10yo who is an excellent eater and loves fruit and veg and will try most things so at least I know it’s not my fault lol.

It might be of no help but I was pathological picky as a child, and very underweight. I remember very often having just a bowl of raspberries while everyone else had dinner, or having a plate of sliced cucumber with the skins taken off for lunch. I would eat chicken breast if it wasn't touching anything, wouldn't eat bread at all so would pick little bits of lettuce out of sandwiches and leave the entirety of the rest and so in.

I can't really say why I was that way and my parents never sought to punish it or correct it or force me to finish meals.They did make me take multivitamins and fed me any time I said I was hungry regardless of how ridiculous the time was but we otherwise never spoke about eating at all, rightly or wrongly.

By the time I was a teenager it just whittled away really. I have been diagnosed with a number of digestive issues as an adult so do wonder if that played a large part of it and went unnoticed as being 'picky' but now I will try anything new I can get my hands on and love food/eating and have no reservations about eating at all.

Hello I have a severe fussy eater and yes there are things that have helped.

I really recommend the book getting the Little blighters to eat. I basically follow that. It's written by an expert who has met thousands of children who have restricted diets.

There is no golden cure but you remove drama and stress. You stop ordering or trying yo force them to eat anything. And you keep putting a wide range of healthy food in front of them. This is really really important. However disheartening it is..never stop the range of food. Research has shown children need to be offered food as many as 40 times before they try something new.

It is so so shit having a child like thus and as she says in the book there really is no magic cure..my 8 year old eats no fruit snd almost no vegetables. We blend veg into meatball and boliagnase sauce ..that's about it. Sometimes a carrot stick.

She also has phobias of some foods ..fruit snd cheese.

Anyway. Its shit but you can make it slightly less shit by removing the tension from mealtimes.

Also. Lots of focus on enjoying mealtimes as much as you can and stopping the endless nagging which just ruins it for the child and for you

So happy to read some positive stories.

My diet has changed a lot because of her eating as I don't want to cook twice. She does have a balanced diet back home, but very limited, and she prefers home made over any processed food which is a blessing. And she is not into anything sweet.

I do worry though that she is starting school in Sept and she is going to starve herself. The menu doesn't look great and she won't eat anything that's on there. She won't eat pasta with any kind of sauce, no meat balls, no fish cakes. She eats very little in the morning, her main meal is usually lunch 😔

Thank you, I'll look for the book.

I'm glad to hear you found a way of removing the stress. My stress levels re food have increased on this holiday and meal times are a bit of a drama sadly.

Send her in with a packed lunch.

I will do occasionally but she's not keen on sandwiches either. I'm very limited in what I can put in her lunch box apart from some snacks.

I will let you know if my 13 yr old DS ever outgrows it! My boy basically eats beige and the only sauce he eats is ketchup and the onlycarbs potatoes! No pasta, rice and definitely nothing with sauce eg bolognaise, casserole, curry etc. I cook our adventurous meals for everyone and everything goes in bowls to self serve but always have at least 1 thing he will eat. eg curry, rice, nasn bread, poppadoms veg etc he would eat the bread and pick out some veg. We don’t force him to eat anything he chooses so it is less stressful. More dishes at tidy up time but has reduced meal time syress significantly

What does she eat?

You can normally just do it anyway.

So from your OP, you could just pack cold cooked chicken, cucumber and fruit.

(Sorry, it's not clear what she usually eats)

Personally I can't eat much fruit as the texture makes me gag - I especially don't like "juicy" textures.

I also find the issue with fruit is it's very unpredictable in terms of texture and taste.

Eventually! School dinners MASSIVELY helped DS out of his comfort zone, as did eating around friends at their houses etc but saying that, even as a teen he's still fussy but he does have a broader diet now. I decided not to sweat it, it became less frustrating when I accepted it for what it is. Toddlers/kids LOVE repetition.

What does she normally eat for lunch?

She won't eat cold chicken as she finds if chewy 🙄. It needs to warm and freshly cooked and only certain parts of the chicken.

Back home she eats salmon, sea bass, mackerel, a certain type of organic sausages, plain pasta, yogurts (only Yeo valley ones), mozarella cheese (which she hates here), cheese scones, some breads, bread sticks (certain types), eggs (sometimes, usually just the eggs white fried), home made pizza. Some veg like raw carrots, cucumber and brocoli (half forced) and peas. Some fruits like strawberries and apples. Not keen on bananas.

She sounds like she has quiet a varied diet. My DS lived off pasta, chicken and Weetabix and I'm not even kidding.

My 13 year old is still very picky, I'm at the point now I can't ever imagine her trying fruit and veg.

Hi OP. This really resonated with me. My DS is 12 now but from the age 3-8 he refused to eat anything other than custard creams, hash browns, chicken dippers and swede!
I used to cry myself to sleep most nights because he looked so skinny. I tried everything to try and get him to eat a wider variety of foods but he’d literally gag just looking at certain foods. As you say, he was wonderful in every other way. Had a great group of friends, did well at school, slept well, behaved nicely…it was just the food we had problems with!
Then one day at around 8yrs old something clicked….
I used to do lots of dinners where I laid everything out on the table and the kids could help themselves. This one night we had fajitas and suddenly I was aware of him adding peppers and guacamole to his (plain chicken strips) so I said nothing and left him to it. I think sometimes the more fuss we make about something the more they did their heels in.
Now at 12yo he’ll eat pretty much anything. Yesterday he was begging me for extra asparagus with his dinner!

I'd be so happy if my DD ate all these things....and she's 16!!
She's been fussy since the day I started weaning and has barely improved.
She did try some avocado last week which was very exciting!