How to manage busy work/family life

[Ricepops]

So I have a busy full time job as well as a 7 and 4 year old, and DH works full time too. My hours are reasonable (35h) and I finish in time for school pick up one day per week.

However I constantly feel rushed and harassed. I manage 5 people at work, have too many meetings and spend all day responding to emails or to people who drop by my desk, leaving very little time to do any actual work! At home, I feel we are getting busier with after school activitie

Hi OP, I could have written the exact same post as you. Mine are 3 and 6. I work 30 hours a week (Mon - Thur) although it's closer to 35 as I work on a busy project and have a lot of global stakeholders to manage.

For us we have a childminder who does dinner for my oldest which is an absolute lifesaver. The youngest has tea at nursery so they just want a snack when they get home. We only do one activity after school and have given over our Saturdays to clubs so at least the weeknights are fairly free.

I am moving youngest DC to the preschool attached to the oldest school as having to collect from 2 locations has been the most stressful part of my day. DH will then be able to do both drop offs in the morning and I will be able to start work earlier and hopefully finish earlier too.

Main things I do to manage are cleaner, Hello Fresh/ Gousto 10 minute meals for me and DH so we have had something decent for dinner. I have a staff canteen at my work so when I know DH will be working late I tend to have a "proper" lunch there. I have my calendar blocked as out of office for at least 30 mins before I have to leave each day so nobody can schedule calls and I have some time to put together my to do list for the next day, send final emails etc.

I would say in general at work that if I need to get something important done then I tend to "go dark" - out of office on, appear away on Microsoft teams and headphones in so anyone popping by my desk isn't able to distract me.

On the day I WFH I start at 6.30am. Break for 20 mins to make DC lunches and my breakfast and say hi to them. DH takes to school. Can your DH change his hours a couple of days a week to start early and then do either pick up or dinner or both? I feel that you are doing more than him and addressing that balance might help. Also he needs to be flexible, not just you.

At work, I would start training people not to email you so much. Don’t respond so quickly to non urgent stuff. If something is more appropriately dealt with by another person then forward it to them and get them to deal with it.

We recently held a strategy meeting at work and one of the questions was “are we doing jobs that we shouldn’t be doing”. Ask yourself that and push back on anyone trying to get you to do stuff that isn’t your job. Redirect them to the correct person.

Also can you book meetings with yourself? So book a meeting room for a couple of hours and just go in there and work. Then you can get a big chunk of stuff done without interruption

You are finishing on a deadline every day, you're not giving yourself any chance to catch up. Why don't you change the drop off/pick up split?

DH does 3 drop offs, I do 2. If we drop off, the other does pick up.

I do 33 hours over 5 days. The days I do drop off I stay late and the days I pick up I go in early but I'm happy with the trade off which is I get 3 school pick ups and getting tea etc isn't a massive rush.

To add to @rainbowqueeen's comments, I have been trialling the very useful strategy of logging in and doing one piece of work ~before~ checking emails. That feels quite empowering because you are getting ahead without everyone else's issues puncturing your thought process.
I haven't read all the replies but it seems to me that you lack adequate, uninterrupted time at work to get stuff done, and are then carrying around this frustration all day. It's difficult if it's open plan, but perhaps you need to discuss as a team having quiet, no-meeting times during the day, or with your boss if you get nowhere with the team
As regards your home life, it sounds like you are making the best of it. Very busy here too and my kids are 10 and 11. They want to do sport and I don't want to deprive them, but I try and make time for chat in the car or give them 10 mins one to one chat at bedtime.
I also batch cook a big pasta sauce or casserole on a Sunday so it's just hearing up rather than cooking mid week.