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Original poster

Are 1940s diamond rings worth anything?

84 replies

Stupidstupidcow · 03/05/2022 21:29

I urgently need to scrape some money together after seriously damaging my car today. DH is furious. The only thing I have that’s of any possible value is my Nan’s engagement ring. It’s a diamond ring from the 1940s and is of incomparable sentimental value to me but I think I’m going to have to accept that I need to let it go. Are standard diamond engagement rings from that era worth anything much? The replacement value when I had it adjusted (I wear it myself) was £1000 but I realise that’s likely to be a lot more than what I’d get if I sold it.

OP posts:
BeaLola · 04/05/2022 01:16

ImAvingOops · 03/05/2022 22:37

I think that if you sell this ring you will never forgive your husband for it. And not should you. A man who would let you sell something so precious, to fix a car, is not a loving husband.
I can understand him being cross but when he calms down, he should understand that mistakes happen and not expect you to give up something so meaningful to 'make up' for it. That would be pure nastiness.

Uttterly this.

Do not sell it - it means a great deal to you.

A car is a piece of metal. No one was hurt and that's what matters.

I get your DH is cross - I say this as someone who stupidly damaged their car last year whilst upset and not thinking as clearly as I should. I was so annoyed at myself - DH just looked at me and said it's a car & you are ok - that's what matters.

Do not sell the ring .

KosherDill · 04/05/2022 01:32

What kind of abusive arse would make you sell a family heirloom??!

Give that some thought.

A real man would get a second job to help you pay for the damage.

HerRoyalNotness · 04/05/2022 01:37

You will regret it every day.

i regret selling a full kitted out cAnon digital SLR 5years ago. And kick myself every time my smaller camera isn’t up to the task. No sentimental value at all. It’s torture!

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tkwal · 04/05/2022 01:46

Contact your insurance company but first contact the police to get an incident number. You may not have a dash cam but the bus almost certainly would. It should show you taking the evasive action and that should mean the bus company accepting responsibility. One of the reasons we have insurance is to let them sort this kind of thing out

Don't sell the ring, as pps have said the sentimental value outweighs the sale price.

Why are you so worried about your husbands anger ? Does he often behave irrationally ? If you were able to drive home after the incident it can't be in need of immediate repair so why make such a big deal about it?

TheTeenageYears · 04/05/2022 02:07

Maybe part of your DH being livid is this was a you problem which has become a him problem. Why don't you take the car to the garage and contact the insurance company to demonstrate ownership of the problem. Selling the ring is not the answer, there must be other things you could forego longer term which would show you don't think this is an insignificant issue. If however you were likely to get hit by the bus then ask DH what he would have done in your shoes. Much of this depends on the dynamics of your relationship.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 04/05/2022 02:45

Your husband sounds vile and frankly abusive.

Snozzlemaid · 04/05/2022 02:52

tkwal · 04/05/2022 01:46

Contact your insurance company but first contact the police to get an incident number. You may not have a dash cam but the bus almost certainly would. It should show you taking the evasive action and that should mean the bus company accepting responsibility. One of the reasons we have insurance is to let them sort this kind of thing out

Don't sell the ring, as pps have said the sentimental value outweighs the sale price.

Why are you so worried about your husbands anger ? Does he often behave irrationally ? If you were able to drive home after the incident it can't be in need of immediate repair so why make such a big deal about it?

The bus company is no way responsible but her own insurance should sort it if she's covered.

BigMamaFratelli · 04/05/2022 03:06

I had a jeweller advise me not to sell my equivalent. It's my god mother's mother's engagement ring - just over 1.6 carats over 3 stones, 1920s, 18ct gold ring with platinum setting and shoulders. Worth pretty much nothing to them. Priceless to me. She told me not to sell and I'm eternally grateful. Hold onto it if you can op,

sashh · 04/05/2022 03:07

Rather than sell can you pawn it? Only do that if you know you can buy it back soon.

But yes use the insurance, that's what you pay it for.

builtonrocks · 04/05/2022 03:14

It won't be worth anything, don't sell it. I've no idea why your insurance wouldn't pay out? My DH accidentally drove into our garage (the door was still closed) and the insurance covered it.

expat101 · 04/05/2022 03:34

Totally OTT and none of my business, but if you feel you have to sell your Granny's ring, would you consider selling it within the family?

My reasoning for thinking of this was a falling out in my cousin's family when her sibling sold something gifted to him by their DD. His DS would have liked it for her son had she been given the opportunity.

It's caused a major rift for them.

lborgia · 04/05/2022 04:09

OP, I'm not sure if you realise, but many threads on MN start like this, one seemingly isolated incident, and then it all comes out, and the woman ends up confessing that they've been living in a state of chronic stress for years, and needs to leave their partner.

Up to you if you expand on what your every day life looks like, but you may want to at least ponder on this:

  • why the drama from him?
  • why no mention of concern for whether you're OK?
  • why are you frantically looking for stuff to sell BEFORE he checks with insurance? Could it be that your heirloom is less important than his no claims bonus?
  • why is it OK for him to be like this just because he's under a lot of stress? How much do you forgive because "he can't help it"?

Good luck OP. You know where the relationships board is if you need it.

Seeleyboo · 04/05/2022 04:09

Get rid of the husband and keep the ring.

Rickrollme · 04/05/2022 04:23

If your husband would even consider letting you sell your nan’s ring for this you have much bigger problems than a car. This is not what marriage should be. My DH and I have been together long enough for BOTH of us to have screwed up many times but we are a team and we get through it together. We get annoyed with each other sometimes but forgive quickly. He’s far from perfect but I truly honestly I cannot imagine him wanting me to feel even worse about a situation I already clearly felt bad about. I’m not saying this to make you feel bad about your marriage OP, I’m trying to say that you don’t deserve this. Don’t even think about selling that ring but do think about whether you want to be with someone who makes you feel the way your DH does.

Fuuuuuckit · 04/05/2022 05:04

Do you have an engagement ring from 'd' h? Could you suggest selling that? I wonder if he'd be so keen for you to sell 'his' gift to you as he is for you to sell your own family heirloom...

Lollypop701 · 04/05/2022 05:38

op is not responding to dh is an ass responses so he is either an arsehole or I would hazard a guess that op doesn’t have a lot of money, the car is essential and if insurance won’t pay it’s going to be a nightmare to find money to fix the car. Dh and op May be reacting through fear , as in how the hell are we going to fix the car when we can barely pay bills. The ONLY thing we have is the ring, which may not be worth enough. Op only you know the answer. Don’t sell the ring if you have any other options as you will regret it, and I hope the insurance pays out… I’d try the bus company too as worth a try

Clawdy · 04/05/2022 08:02

Yes, rings can't be replaced, cars can.

cheapascheerios · 04/05/2022 08:32

just tell your dh the value is less than £100 so you’re not prepared to sell it for so little or something like that
he sounds horrid tho and perhaps taking it out on you he hasn’t got the car adequately insured

InkyPinkyParlez · 04/05/2022 08:38

I would strongly encourage you to ring the insurance and talk to the garage yourself. I know it's easier to let him do it but you will be in a much stronger position if you are the one having the conversations. It sounds like he is trying to guilt trip you. Don't let him be the one "having to do all the work" and knowing more about the damage than you do, he'll hold it over you.

This is just an accident, it's not some horrific misjudgement you made. Virtually everyone has them over a lifetime of driving.

Original poster
Stupidstupidcow · 04/05/2022 08:47

@Lollypop701 that's basically it. He’s under immense pressure as it is and this has piled it on to almost unbearable levels. The fact that it was down to a stupid mistake on my part (I was in no danger from the bus) makes it worse.

As we live rurally, he’s going to have to do all of the school runs until the situation is sorted. He’s a self employed tradesman, the sole breadwinner and our financial situation is precarious. He has every right to be as angry as he is.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stupidstupidcow · 04/05/2022 08:49

@lborgia thank you, some of that rings true.

OP posts:
jolietomate · 04/05/2022 09:01

The whole point of insuring valuables is to cover the cost of buying a replacement, so the price given always factors in retail pricing. Unfortunately, despite being valued at £1,000, you will not get that sum of money should you decided to sell or even pawn the ring.

Sentimental value will nearly always outweigh material value. Do not sell the ring, particularly as it does not appear to be your choice to do so.

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 04/05/2022 09:03

It’s not really about a “right” to be angry though.

His feelings are valid but accidents happen and people (you) are human and make mistakes. It’s not fair or kind of him to direct intense anger at you when it really comes from underlying worry and pressure around money.

If you were financially comfortable, this accident wouldn’t matter half as much. So the problem isn’t really that you made a mistake and had an accident — the problem is a lack of resources/contingency money in your situation. That bit is not your fault, surely? So you shouldn’t bear the brunt of anger because of it. You’re being scapegoated imho.

We are skint but DP wouldn’t be livid with me if this happened to us. I’d feel awful about it already, as you clearly do yourself, and he would know it and be kind because we are a team, and because he knows he’s not immune from human error either.

You deserve compassion op but more urgently, in the immediate short term, I really wish you luck with the insurers Flowers

Blossomtoes · 04/05/2022 10:36

ImAvingOops · 03/05/2022 22:37

I think that if you sell this ring you will never forgive your husband for it. And not should you. A man who would let you sell something so precious, to fix a car, is not a loving husband.
I can understand him being cross but when he calms down, he should understand that mistakes happen and not expect you to give up something so meaningful to 'make up' for it. That would be pure nastiness.

This x 💯

MadeForThis · 04/05/2022 11:03

Insurance will cover it.