What happens if you can't afford a funeral?

[OhRiRi]

I have a parent who is at end stage alcoholism after 20+ years of heavy drinking. I've been no contact for the last 5 years, my siblings longer than that. Parent has had no contact from any of their siblings for years, all close friends have cut contact over the years. I'm pretty sure in the event of their death (which feels like it won't be far off), I will be named as next of kin. This was certainly the case when they were able to function and in employment, as the last child to have any kind of relationship.

This person has no savings, owns no property and I believe pensions have been cashed in as a means of laying hands on money. Any life insurance policies will have lapsed through non payment.

What happens when a funeral (or at the very least a straight forward cremation with no ceremony) happens? Who will pay for this? I've always kept the same contact details so my parent could contact me if needed (never has), would the costs come down to me? What if I can't afford it?

I'd welcome any advice. I've just had to arrange a welfare check as the neighbours have been in touch to say they've noticed the bins haven't been being put out for several months

Thank you everyone, I appreciate the thoughts and support. Need to update the adult safeguarding team today to let them know the neighbour hasn't seen my parent since February

@OhRiRi
Thinking of you at this really difficult time.

Just a thought and please bear in mind I have absolutely no knowledge of this but could a body be donated to medical science?
I am really sorry OP ,It must be a hugely difficult time for you all.

@Iputthetrampintrampoline

Just a thought and please bear in mind I have absolutely no knowledge of this but could a body be donated to medical science? I am really sorry OP ,It must be a hugely difficult time for you all.

I work in a field where we rely upon the generosity of people and their families for their donations and is something I wish to do myself if appropriate when my time comes.

I had the call today, police forced entry and found the body. "Weeks" was the estimate I was given by the police officer. Now waiting for calls from various places and have a few calls to make to relatives but I'll do that tomorrow I think.

Sorry to see this update, OP.

You’ve been very clear here about the history and your own feelings about your parent. Take care of yourself, and don’t feel you need to make particular choices or decisions just because that’s what people expect of you.

So sorry to hear the news. Grief can be rather complicated when you're estranged from someone. You've probably already grieved the relationship, but IME the actually death can bring back lots of feelings that can be unexpected. So yes, be gentle with yourself.

@OhRiRi
I am sorry to read that your fears were realised.
May your father now have the peace he didn't have in life.
Be gentle with yourself - you have a tough few weeks ahead.
The "what ifs" and "if onlys" can strike at any time.
Is your mother still alive ?

My mum died suddenly and step-dad could not afford the funeral. I paid for it, but it only cost £1k. Direct cremation, but I paid a few hundred extra for 15 minutes to sit and watch the coffin go in and have a few songs played. Collected the ashes a week later. Cheap and cheerful and nothing less than what she'd have wanted (she actually wanted a sky burial on a mountain and to be pecked apart by crows, but obviously not practical!).

The la will pay but it's usually at 9am and it will be a local vicar usually. Our council didn't allow friends to attend (there was no family) and they recovered the money from the estate (which didn't cover the costs)

I had a borderline traumatic time trying to arrange a PH funeral for my mother. The woman rang from the council when I was on my way home from going to my Mum’s for the first time to start sorting through all her stuff. Conversation went along the lines of “Did your Mum have any assets that could be used to pay for a funeral?” Me- “no.” “Did she have any pensions or investments that could pay for it?” Me- “no.” “Did you know there are ‘low cost’ funerals that are ‘only’ £1500-£2000, are you sure you can’t stretch to that?” Me- (looking at my baby and toddler in the back of our clapped out car) “No.” “Are there any friends or family that could pay for it?” Me- thinking, fucking hell if any of these things were options we wouldn’t be having this conversation- “No.”
Council woman (with an impatient sigh) “fine, email me her address, date of birth and bank details as soon as possible please.”

She’d frozen my Mum’s bank account within an hour of getting that email, and then started asking about access to Mum’s home to start collecting her property. In the meantime I had the coroner asking about funeral directors etc and I didn’t know what to tell them because council woman hadn’t actually told me a damn thing about any funeral arrangements except to say it would be a “non-attended” funeral; she seemed focused only on getting her hands on what little money my mum had and all her stuff. She didn’t give a fuck about the fact that she was communicating with someone who was dealing with a very sudden and painful loss. I ended up getting into a grand of debt to pay for a direct cremation through co-op funerals because the whole thing was just adding more pain on top of what I was already going through.

I’m so sorry OP.

Let local council deal with the funeral arrangements.

If she rented let the housing association ( presumption here) deal with clearing the property. They’ll try and get you to do it. Hold firm unless you want to collect any photos etc. They’ll need to do a torts on anything valuable.

I can't think that there's anything I'd want from the house, I've not set foot in there for many years. I replaced things like my birth certificate etc when I left home so I didn't have to go back. My younger sibling may want photos of their dad. The police officer said there's lots of new kitchen appliances in the house still in their boxes but I'm tempted to let the housing association/LA deal with them, I'd be happy for them to go to someone who needs them rather than faffing around trying to sell them. I don't even know where to begin with bank accounts and wills and things although I suspect all there is will be debt.

LA will pay for a basic funeral.

The HA will do torts on anything over £50 and have to give notice to public trustee.

Honestly let them do it. The house is likely to be in poor condition. You could ask them to save anything sentimental.

The house is in poor condition and is a housing authority property.

What do I need to do about the other stuff, bank accounts etc. I very much doubt there's any money anywhere, I suspect all pensions/life insurance has been cashed in (that's where the kitchen appliances came from according to the neighbour - cashed in pension) but on the very remote chance there is anything left over once costs have been paid, it can be donated to Al-Anon.

I think you can ask for public trustee to act if none of you are willing to.

www.thegazette.co.uk/wills-and-probate/content/100511