Op I hear you, I've also been drained by one dc... And am not natural to house tidy... Always one room will be a bomb site.
What helped me is good storage, ikea.a game changer which massively not only helps with sorting pants, socks immediately but then means dc can find them immediately and help themselves is draw organisers from ikea.. About 3 pound?
Socks in one, pants another.. And where my ironing board is I have two more so as I process washing pants and socks and other of their clothes can immediately be put into their box.
. They come into my room now, where ironing board is to get their box and transfer into their drawer.
Small step.. Yes but for me...this has been utter revelation... It's removed lost socks, mixed up pants etc.
I've had an area in our landing for months... An old box half filled with crap.. Piles if old books... Dust other rubbish.. I've got ready with a charity shop bag, rubbish bag, floor wipes and hoover and then literally say to myself out loud..
You can do this, come on, you can do it.. Think how much better you'll feel.. Come on...
Then after months I've done it. Its still not completely clear but its been tackled...
Storage is the main friend though... And seeing stuff neatly in nice boxes or bags also spurs you on to tidy more.. Then shove stuff back in a box..
I'm nealry there and I reckon by the time dc have moved out I'll have fully cracked it 