I’m really upset- public speaking can anyone help pleo

[FanOfTheCheese]

I’m 8 months into a job and have been organising a couple of projects. Someone put me forward to talk at the next all company zoom update. Normally it’s the chief director or very senior staff that talk.
I was told year that director wants me to do ten minute update at the start of the next meeting.
I can’t do it I’m a terrible public speaker i had some horrible experiences when I was younger and I cannot do it. My boss is normally really good but she’s basically said just get on with it.
I know it’s zoom but it’s still talking in front of hundreds of people and I know I’ll make a fool of myself I get tongue tied, stutter say the wrong thing etc
I’m genuinely in tears st the thought of doing it :(

Should have said I’m not senior at all in the grand scheme of things I’m basically low level

Speak to your gp ans ask to be prescribed propanalol. I had the same thing, I was regularly doing stand up live speaking to 250 people plus and I developed a real fear of it, shaking, sweating, the lot. It was literally going to end my career.

I went to my doctor and cried all over her desk. She prescribed these. Musicians take it for stage fright. I take one tablet an hour before hand and I have no physical symptoms of nerves. To the extent people comment “wow your so confident and natural”.

I’ve had them for years now. I don’t take them often, but before a presentation to a lot of people I take one

I absolutely agree about the propranolol. It is a game changer. Also practice, practice, practice what you are going to say. Write out some bullet points and go really slowly. Most people really gabble when public speaking. And remember they are listening to what you say, not how you say. Good luck.

If your boss has told you to get on with it, you should give it a go if you can. You've already told her you really aren't a good public speaker so she can't moan if it isn't up to some unspoken standard.

Make it easier by writing out clear separate sentences, of what you need to say.

Keep it as short and as simple as you can to deliver the basic information. Something like:
The project involves.....
Our timescale is.....
So far we have done .......
We hope to be finished by ....
Thank you to Fred and Jane who have helped get this far.

On zoom remember you can blur out your own image which I find helps, and put everyone else on mute so they don't interrupt,

But if you really can't do it, you could provide all the details but tell your boss you have a real phobia about public speaking.

Good luck.

Type out what you need to say and read it out. No one will know that you are reading it!

It will be ok op and think of how it may help you, and add another aspect to your cv! Firstly, write up exactly what you’re going to say and read it like a script. Secondly, practise practise practise and rehearse it via zoom or teams with a trusted friend.

Talking very slowly helps

I am the same, but actually being on zoom can make it easier, as PP said, write it down, put the notes behind camera and read it out

Get some rescue remedy to calm your nerves.
Practise loads.
Maybe pretend you've got connection issues on the day and have your camera off but your mic on? I used to do that sometimes when I was really nervous.

Turn your camera off and claim WiFi issues it will help if they can’t see you. Then you can focus on what you’re saying.

But also YES to the tablets it’s the only way I can do things like that.

Definitely script it. It's an update so there's no reason not to.

Remember, the vast majority of people on the call won't even be listening to you - half of them will be off for a cup of tea, another quarter will likely be browsing the internet, the rest will mostly be thinking about what they want for tea.

Propanalol is a good idea as well for supressing the physical symptoms.

I'm slightly agog that the first few comments regarding a solution is to medicate yourself!
Write out what you want to say. Make some slides which will go up on the screen, then you don't need to show yourself. Don't speak too quickly; you can say good morning, introduce yourself etc while you get your slide shared. As soon as you're finished speaking, mute yourself. This means that if anyone asks a question, you've got a pause point while you unmute to consider your reply. You can practise the talk before you give it to set pace. Have you got someone in the house who would listen to you for this?

I can recommend The Presenter’s Handbook by Advock and Callow. It deals with all aspects of presentation so that you can feel prepared and able to do it, not just the structure and content. There’s a lot of confidence building techniques in it throughout.

Being prepared and practising is the way to go here. It will be much easier on Zoom as PP said so this is a really great opportunity for you.

Start by working out what you want to say. If it helps pretend that you are telling your best friend, or a child or your mother about your project.

Good questions from PP about about the kind of things to cover.

Write up a few PowerPoint slides so you can share your screen to show the slides while you are talking. Great way to get them to look at something other than you.

Then practice practice practice it three times for three time a day til the words are part of you. You can still be reading out the words while you show slides.

Make you you have an introduction "here is an overview of project xxx, covering (three things). That's your into

Then you have slides one each for those three things.

Then you tell them that was 'an over view of project xxx covering ( those three things )

Good luck. I'm happy for you to DM me if you would like to practice with me 😀

You really have this , I'm holding my thumbs for you

I have this. I never used to, was always able to make presentations to large groups of people usually senior to me, but all of a sudden I just couldn’t. It coincided with stressful life events, if that is familiar to you. Palpitations, getting very hot, couldn’t control breathing - all mean a panic attack.

My job involves this though, I either do it or I find a new job. I got propranolol on prescription, and take it prior to presentations. It’s hard, because you don’t know whether it’s going to work until you’re actually giving the presentation. Unless there are other situations that bring out the same response in you, there’s just no opportunity to do an exact practice run to know whether it will work. So it can be a massive leap of faith.

I think your boss should be supporting you better, given that you’ve told her about this. Comforting words and then being told to get on with it aren’t helpful.

If you feel you can, approach your manager again and explain that the thought of public speaking is paralysing for you & the effect it has on you. Also that you’re happy to start with a small team presentation, but that you genuinely can’t see yourself presenting to the whole company successfully and would be happy to provide notes / an update to her or someone else that can present instead. Hopefully, your boss has empathy and can understand that not everyone is overjoyed at the prospect of going straight into presenting to 100s of people!

If not, ask if she or a colleague can co-present with you. Have slides, notes and practice, practice, practice. Remember, you are the subject matter expert here - you know the material better than anyone else and you are being recognised and trusted for your expertise. If you find yourself getting flustered or tongue tied, pause to regroup and take a breath or a sip of water.

Another vote for sharing your screen to show the slides. A really good tip for faking confidence is smiling when you talk. Most people don't realise, but you can hear when someone is smiling because of the shape of your mouth.

Write it down and practise it. You can read it aloud on the day if it makes you feel better. Or learn it so you don’t have to rely on your notes for every word.

I had to do a presentation once where I was being graded on it for a course. I filmed myself a few times which was horrendous but you can see how you come across and I found it really helped.

Also I do think that’s a big ask of you. I am used to presenting but wouldn’t want to present to 100s of people on zoom.

I had to do a smaller part of a big group presentation yesterday, and was pretty nervous. I don't have to use zoom/teams often, so that adds to my nerves!

To help - I made sure my camera and background view were set up properly an hour before hand - e.g. I didn't have a basket of washing in corner of my room. I also tested my settings by starting a zoom meeting on my own (no attendees) so I could get used to the look/feel (WHERE IS THE MUTE BUTTON!!!)

I had my notes on my phone beside me, as we weren't having slides, but if you can have slides even better.

Practise your notes out loud several times. See how long it takes you to get through them. Speak more slowly than you usually do. I remember my old school principal saying to silently count to three at the end of each sentence when doing a Church reading, and that is still something I do now, 30+ years on.

On the actual call, I didn't need to read all my notes, but glancing at them reminded me of my words/points and that was all I needed. I only look at one person on screen, rather than the entire group. If I look at too many faces, I get distracted!

Best of luck - I am sure you can do it - imagine how great it will feel afterwards, and this is all good experience for you.

Another vote for propanol. I have suffered for years with this. Am senior and expected to be v comfortable giving presentations on my area. I find zoom nearly worse. I take 10mg on work days and even though I still stress, it lessens the physical symptoms and so stops the domino effect.

This will be much easier online than it would be in person op. Write out everything you need to say and practice in front of your screen multiple times before hand. No one will notice if you literally read the whole time!

Oh OP, If there really is no way you can avoid doing this, it really would be best to invest your energy and efforts into how you ‘can’ do this, rather than ‘you can’t’. To help you feel prepared for this.

Some things you can do:

Instead of thinking of all of those people, imagine you will be sharing your information with a couple of colleagues or friends who you feel relaxed with. In your practicing, and for the real thing, address your friends/colleagues. Make yourself do this to help yourself.

Remember - most of, if not all, the audience listening will be wanting to hear your presentation. Most people are kind and understanding. In your preparation, see that kind and understanding group rather than a bunch of ogres.

Are you passionate about what you have to present? Let that come across, tap into who you are naturally rather than trying to force something/be someone who you’re not. Your natural interest and enthusiasm will shine through; because you will be speaking of things you ARE good at and interested in.

Start preparing your presentation now, so that you are fully au fait with the content, how it flows, etc.
Could the presentation be broken into 3 chunks?
Use slides/pictures to inform your speaking. People like and appreciate visuals.
In your mind, you will know know you have completed section 1, just 2 to go, for example.
3 sections taking 3 minutes each = done. Ha - and you’re delivering for 9 minutes, not 10!

Turn all of your ‘I can’ts’ into ‘I can, I am, I will...’. Because you can. And you will. This really will give you a better experience and outcome.

Breathe...keep your shoulders dropped and relaxed, keep your jaw relaxed and loose...

You can do this. You will kill it.

If you're going to be using zoom you could do a run through you record and play back to yourself beforehand and see if there's anything you need to change about your delivery and content. If it's integrated with Outlook just go to Start an Instant Meeting with only you attending and give it a go.

If there are going to be questions afterwards, think what they may be and have some prepared answers ready as that will help you feel more confident.

There's nothing wrong with taking beta blockers like propanalol if they help you. I sing in a large choir and lots of people find performing in front of an audience extremely nerve wracking. You can't perform well if your voice is shaking with nerves so anything that helps overcome those nerves is worth a go.

Go and join your local Toastmasters group - they specialize in helping people to overcome their public speaking nerves. They're very supportive and not expensive. Go here to find your nearest club
www.toastmasters.org/find-a-club

I've been a member for many years and it's helped me hugely.