Poor, poor woman

[Mookie81]

Complete lack of support and nowhere to turn.
A terrible deed but I feel so sorry for her.
And where the fuck was her ex? Living in Spain while she was driven to despair.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9186243/Olga-Freemans-friends-reveal-agony-trapped-flat-son-loved-dearly.html

[Whatdoyoudowhendemocracyfails]

The article says she “rowed” with the father over her role in the boy’s care so he was fully aware that she wasn’t coping.

Desperately sad case.

[Nopreservatives]

Absolutely heartbreaking, the father a disgrace. But why was the school closed to the boy? This is exactly the child who should have been in school, as vulnerable. Even if he wasn't identified as such initially, the regular safeguarding contact the school had with mum should have identified it.

TBH, I'm surprised there haven't been more of these awful stories .

[DumplingsAndStew]

Heartbreaking.

[Labobo]

Meanwhile, his father swanned off when home life got too tough, leaving her with no respite.

I feel heartbroken for her and her son. But I loathe and despise the men who do this.

[Mrgrinch]

A trigger warning might be needed for this thread

[waterlego]

You're not suffering from psychosis @WitchesNest. There are different types of mental illness. She probably was not fully aware of her actions.

Yes, this.

[Ilovelove]

I have a large amount of compassion for this woman. I can imagine feeling like her... the hopelessness and desolation that is completely overwhelming borne from sleep deprivation, disconnection, abandonment. I can imagine the son, locked in his body, reaching out through screaming and howling, frail yet strong, unpredictable and relentless. Glimmers of connection and love but too few amongst the drudgery, the noise, the loneliness.

I think it’s very understandable and without being met with compassion, makes reaching out for help even harder.

To think the unthinkable, and then to say it out loud - without this outlet, without understanding , without being met with resources and support, it is not to hard to imagine how it seeps into tragic action.

[Imissmoominmama]

The only person I can feel anger toward is his father- who “even has a tattoo” .

To get to that stage of desperation and exhaustion, without adequate help, is appalling. Now she has to live with the decision she made in a state of torture, for the rest of her life.

This is one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard.

[Norabuzz]

Agree that the father should be charged with neglect. What a complete abdication of his responsibilities. The poor boy and his unsupported mother. This story shows how badly the UK continues to fail its most vulnerable.

[Whatdoyoudowhendemocracyfails]

[quote LadyWhistledownthe1st]@GreenlandTheMovie I’m not aware they were. I have 2 disabled children and none of their support services have stopped since March 2020[/quote]
I’m seeing this empathy by-pass a lot at the moment - “I am not affected by X situation so I don’t understand why anyone else is struggling.”

The article is absolutely clear that the family’s support package was stopped. The mother could not cope as a consequence.

[corythatwas]

I feel sorry for her but I also feel rather worried about the way that a mother killing a disabled child, is always framed as to be about the sufferings of the mother.

The personhood of the child is eroded and he is only presented in this story as a series of noises and troublesome behaviours that tipped his mother over the edge and as then object of her attention. We don't learn anything about Dylan, there is no sense of loss that he is gone from the world.

It's not just this story, it's also the fact that the journalist chooses to situate the telling in a common narrative that is all about the NT person and not at all about the SN person. Every time you join that line, you are feeding into a perception that SN lives don't matter at all.

Yes, I feel sorry for the mother. But it would have been possible to write the story differently while still showing sympathy for her plight. "This is who Dylan was, sadly his mother killed him during a psychotic episode brought on/exacerbated by stress and lack of support during lockdown".

[Norealclue]

The services for disabled people from local authorities have always been pitiful. This is a case which has been highlighted because of the pandemic. So many people struggle for years on end hitting a brick wall with social services and NHS.
The senseless abuse of people who care for the disabled is short sighted. If there was support for carers then carers would not be so likely to become ill and then what does the disabled person do without their carer? This needs some joined up thinking

[burfordbrown]

[quote WitchesNest]@HallowedGround and I’ve been suicidal for months. Still haven’t murdered my kids.[/quote]
Well done

[smileyforest]

Incredibly sad , pushed to her absolute limits. We all have different levels of coping and how can anyone judge when not in that situation. The Mother will be suffering and will always suffer , of course it was wrong to take his life but I do not think she was evil . She clearly loved her son . Father absent and she was left with no support day in , day out . There will be others living in similar situations but this poor lady snapped and couldn't bare for life to carry on ...I really hope the right verdict will be reached, the correct support because this ladies life will never be the same again..

[toolazytothinkofausername]

@CaramelCandle

Probably in the minority but no. I feel sorry for that poor boy killed by the one person he should have been able to trust.

I completely agree.

[Imissmoominmama]

@corythatwas- you make a good point. I feel the article was written in this way to highlight the breakdown of support during the pandemic, and also to try to avoid reactions such as Witch’s, in response.

But yes, you are right.

[C8H10N4O2]

At least, as a society, we're starting to see these situations for what they are. Those poor women (and their children)

Really? Every story like this is after the fact of the woman's death, the childrens' deaths or both. When all are dead, the story focuses on the man, usually with neighbours saying what a nice bloke he was whilst barely mentioning the name of the woman or the history of abuse which always precedes iit.

Even before lockdown two women a week were being murdered by domestic partners and family alone. Globally femicide has finally achieved making women a minority for the first time ever. Just think how many hundreds of millions of women were murdered (and even aborted on grounds of sex) to make that happen.

[AllMyPrettyOnes]

@CaramelCandle

Probably in the minority but no. I feel sorry for that poor boy killed by the one person he should have been able to trust.

So you don't possess the ability to feel sorry for more than one person at a time?

[Constancevariable]

We’re all different, none of us knows how we would cope in the mother’s situation, and even if we can surmise we’re all so different that none of us can begin to know how we would cope if we were the mother, we know nothing about her. Well, other than the Dad’s life seemed to have gone on as normal post separation.

[AlternativePerspective]

Well, maybe the father walked away because he didn’t trust himself not to snap and potentially do the same thing.

Every time people defend a murderer like this they are yet again diminishing the worth of a disabled child. The poor mother driven to the edge until she snapped and murdered the child who was causing her so many problems and so much stress.

What does that say about the value we place on the lives of the disabled that the able-bodied should be pitied for murdering them?

[FamilyOfAliens]

@CaramelCandle

Probably in the minority but no. I feel sorry for that poor boy killed by the one person he should have been able to trust.

The “one person”?

He had two parents, didn’t he? Or is his father absolved of any responsibility because he fucked off to Spain leaving the child’s mother to cope on her own?

[HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee]

Posters need to moderate their tone about the father. He’s lost his child. Have some compassion
No one knows the circumstances or arrangements they made as a divorced couple
He lived elsewhere away from his exwife And son,that’s common. Being located elsewhere doesn’t lessen the impact on him. He’s a bereaved parent. Left with all the what ifs and guilt