Milbourne Lodge School, Esher (vs Hornsby House School)

[MKKLC]

Hi, it would be good to pick brains of parents that have / had children at Milbourne Lodge School in Esher, Surrey. We are thinking about moving to the local area and have a 5 yo starting in year 1 in September. He’s quite a shy and reserved boy but loves engaging with friends when he knows them well. Would love some thoughts on:

• What do you like about Milbourne Lodge?
• What don’t you like about Milbourne Lodge?
• Is it easy for pre-prep children to make friends?
• What is their pastoral care like (if any)?
• Some old threads have said it’s quite “quirky” - can anyone expand on what that may mean or give examples?

Our son is currently at Hornsby House, SW12 and LOVES it there - their pastoral care is excellent. We want to move further out and we liked the virtual Open Day given by Milbourne Lodge, but without seeing it or seeing how the teachers or children interact, it’s hard to get a feel for what it’s really like.

Any thoughts - please do let me know.

Thanks so much!

Hi, my son doesn't go there but I have friends whose children do, some there still, some not. It is pushy because they want to position themselves as the most academic school in the area, for example multiple flash cards for them to learn by rope each night in their first month in reception and they strive to be a year ahead.
They tend to focus on traditional subjects and the children can spend long periods at their desk each day. We found it a bit victorian when we went for a in person tour & the hm too quirky but parents say she's on top of everything and the children's wellbeing is her priority. If he is very academic he will probably get on but I have heard of children who have lost confidence as there seems to be an early awareness of how they compare to peers. They market sport each day, this tails off as they get older to focus on the academics.
Have you thought of Shrewsbury House Pre-Prep? It is just down the road and has a more nurturing environment whilst still challenging the children to bring them on academically. The headmaster, Mr Akhurst, is exceptional. He's been there for 2 years now (having taught at the prep for 20 years) and the school has gone from strength to strength. Myu son, currently in reception, slotted in straight away having not done nursery there and made friends easily. I couldn't be more pleased in terms of his levels of happiness, engagement and how he's come on academically.
They have a wider curriculum. They go up to the prep at the end of year 2 in Ditton but it has an exceptional track record academically. They have a bit more of an ethos everyone has a go at everything and when they're older set on a subject not class basis. I would encourage you to speak to him as I don't think you would be disappointed. Hope that helps.

Thanks so much, Eshermum83. Really appreciate your thoughts - we'll definitely check out Shrewsbury House Pre-Prep too. It's a bit of a minefield, esp when we're moving and have no idea about the schools and local area! Thanks again x

You’re welcome. You should also check out Felton Fleet. Bigger school, great facilities, not as academic as the others but still get kids into good inward schools. I have friends whose children go there who are very happy.

Hi, my son is actually in ML and I can not fault it. Is it perfect? Not at all, it isn't, but what school is?

My DC came in later into the prep department, felt welcomed and immediately made lots of friends, despite being shy.

ML has been great for my child, as he is what I would call, the worst combination: academic but lazy, and there is no space at ML to be lazy, that is for sure.

ML has been around for years, so it has a good and well established reputation. To clarify, Eshermum, sports do take place every day even at prep and up to Y8. They are not top of the game sports wise, but you can't be good at everything :) ... they have a fantastic music department for sure and their technology was updated just before COVID hit, so the provision they have been offering to our children from the start of lockdowns has been absolutely amazing.

It is very academic, particularly in the A stream -year 4 and above-, so if your child is academic and you have the eye in one of the top secondary schools in the area, this is the school to be at. Ok, I have to admit it, Shrewsbury and Hampton Boys can give you a similar academic result too, but I don't know much about those schools to be honest.

As Esher mum says, it is very academic, but it also offers the B stream for children who are less academic, but still want to succeed.

It is not on your face pastoral, but it is a caring school and has the kids' best interest at heart. It responds well to your child's pastoral needs, or at least that has been my experience. I won't say it is more quirky than most of the well established and respected independent schools, but it is in some ways ;)

They have been rated outstanding several times by the Independent School Body.

So far the current Y6s are doing really well in their school offers. We surely have!

Their real motto is "work hard, play hard".

My son loves it, despite finding it hard at times.

PS it is a minefield for sure in this area ... schools to consider as you know your child best:

West Green - Lovely little school, very caring and pastoral would be the strength.

Shrewsbury Pre-pep - Little school, caring, but they do feed to their own very academic prep school, so I would imagine it is also a combination of academic and pastoral.

ML - Academic, small school, so easy to make friends and get to know others, has it's own sports grounds ...we are bias, we love it!

Hampton Boys - Not sure if they have a pre-prep department, but prep is academic and has a thriving ethos. Friends love it too.

Claremont Fan Court - Not pushy, pastoral and good family feeling. Bigger than ML, SL and WG.

So far in this area, you are spoilt for choices, more if you venture further away than Thames Ditton/Esher area.

Wow, thanks SplPLDA for the really detailed response. It's great to hear the first hand experience and we are excited about ML. The Head of Year seems lovely and approachable, which is a relief.
I think we are swaying towards ML and your review has really helped. Thanks ever so much x

Sorry - spelt your name wrong - SpLDLSA!

We have a son in Y2 and a daughter who just started reception at ML, and we could not be happier. It seems to have a hot house reputation but in my opinion, the pre prep has been incredibly nurturing and an amazing environment in which my kids have thrived. While they do work hard, they play hard too, and I am always amazed at how the kids don't seem to think of it as hard work but rather they all really enjoy it. The teaching is excellent and there is a real breadth to the curriculum. It's a small school which feels like a real community and all of the teachers know my kids and know us. They have also been amazing during COVID.

It is definitely a traditional school - but there is no rote learning of flash cards in reception that we've ever experienced, and the pre prep team are all very nurturing and on top of things. It is definitely academic, and the pace of learning is fast, but when we have had the occasional hiccup in the road with my eldest the support and care they have shown him has been exceptional, and I have always felt that they see each child as an individual and work to that child's strength. Mrs Waite is fantastic and I fully trust that she has the best interests of each child at heart.

Personally, we cannot fault it and would highly recommend it (and your son would be in the same year as my daughter if joining Y1 in 2021, its a really lovely year group with a fab group of kids and a great group of parents). My only regret is that we didn't move my eldest sooner (he started after reception).

OP, you are welcome.

It is not an easy decision. We have not regretted ML at all and it has a lot of "kudos" amongst local teachers academically. as a parent there, I can tell you, it is not for "free" that they got such a respected reputation amongst those in the education field.

Wish you the best in your decision.

Thanks JBMall - really appreciate your time writing all of that. It's so reassuring to know how parents feel about the school. As we haven't visited it, it feels very much like a leap of faith, not knowing much about the school.

Our DS is very academic, loves learning but isn't really bothered about sports, which worries me slightly as apparently they do an hour of sport everyday, but I suspect that he'll (hopefully) learn to enjoy it (fingers & toes crossed).

We have decided to go with ML and we are really excited about DC starting at the school. We had a call with Mrs Waite a few weeks back and although she came across as very serious, we liked that she was quite plain speaking and kept reassuring us that they were a nurturing environment and that they look out for each child. Your point about the school being small reinforces that - thank you.

Have to say I'm quite excited about DS starting at the school in September now!

Thanks again! x

No worries - it must be such a difficult time to try to find the right school without being able to visit! I'm sure if schools open again on March 8th you could arrange a tour with Mrs Waite.

And don't worry about sports - mine are not bothered about sports (my daughter actively dislikes it) but they seem to just accept it as part of their daily life and get on with it!

See you at the school gates in Sept! Feel free to PM me with any questions!

x

Thank you so much, JBMall, that would be great. I must admit, I'm relatively new to MN, so I've no idea how to send a personal message.... could you let me know and I'll do that. Will be so great to know another Mum and your DC before starting the school. Thanks again xx

Hi MKKLC,

Welcome to ML!

We were in your shoe a few months ago and took a leap of faith and joined ML. We got a feel mainly from the school's Twitter and Facebook pages. We keep thinking what a right decision it is for our DS.

Our DS is also academic, shy and not sporty. We are a little older in the prep school. I am pleased to say the daily sports lessons have been one of his favourites. It really helps the children bond and build their sense of belonging.

The school has direct access to acres of woodlands on its door step. As such, the children have the benefits of running cross country as part of their sports lessons. They also play in the stream occasionally, discover magical secret hideouts and even chased Santa Clause on a bicycle in the woodlands! Our DS often takes us back to all these places for a nature walk at the weekend.

One of his highlights has been playing fixtures against another school. I like the way they involve all the children regardless of whatever levels they play at. My DS played the lower divisions in different positions. It was the first time ever he played a key position in a game that made him very proud.

On the academic side, the school has a strong reputation and broad range of leavers' destinations that include our target secondary school. As lessons have moved online during the lockdown, we now have the opportunity to see first hand just how good the quality of the teaching is. The teacher and children interactions are warm, friendly and with lots of encouragement. They are all given the chance to shine even when it's online.

If you are relocating, my tip is to think about finding a place where your children can commute independently to school in their senior years. There is a public bus that goes to Surbiton/Hinchley Wood/Claygate. There are also numerous off road cycle routes that connect to Thames Ditton/Molesey, Esher and Oxshott. It is a safe neighbourhood to walk. School also runs a coach service to SW London.

Hello OP, what did you go for in the end. We are in a similar position in terms of choosing schools. We have heard so many local horror stories (first hand from reputable sources) about MIlbourne, from the huge amount of bullying to the way the teachers treat the pupils. We have a very academic child but are not willing sacrifice his mental well-being for academics. Hopefully you have found a good option!

NearlyNearlySummer, stay away from ML. It's a dreaded school and has some serious issues. Good luck - suggest you look elsewhere like Rowan or Shrewsbury Pre-Prep or Felton Fleet.

Hey ladies
my son is due to start ML in September 2022 and only ever heard great things about the school but after reading the last 2 posts I am really worried. Could you help me understand what’s happened to the school where bullying is so prevalent ?

Thank you Claygatemum, that certainly echoes general sentiment. Leatherheadmum, so sorry you’re in this position. I feel the same way, as I thought ML was the only suitable academic school in the area. General feeling is that Mrs Waite has lost control of the school and a number of parents are pulling their children out (five in one year one class). The culture seems archaic, with children being shouted at and shamed for minor misdemeanours. It’s passed off as ‘quirky’. As a result, children are stressed and take it out on others. The bullying is endemic, and nothing is done about it.

Our search continues…

I am very sorry Nearly Nearly Summer that you have heard horror stories about ML. Claygatemum, seems as you have had a bad experience there perhaps?

Whilst I will agree that ML is not everyone's cup of tea, I will disagree strongly about some of the comments made about ML. Every time there has been an issue, it has been addressed and dealt with asap. The school has been amazingly pastorally, not only for my child but also for so many other children. They really have gone far and beyond what is expected of a private school at times.

Is it the most academic? Not really, It is one of the top academic schools, Shrewsbury could be another option on the academic front, but guess what? Same stories that you hear from ML, you hear it from this one too. And even other schools. Several mum move their girls from Rowan for this same reason into guess what school??? ML! It is the same everywhere!

In terms of academic schools, Hampton Boys, ML and Shrewsbury lead the front in this area. The rest are fine and probably more caring, but these two lead on this front.

As a parent at ML and a teacher in another school, I can say that these issues that the two other mums are talking about happen IN EVERY school. The "opinion" of each parent will depend on how their situation was dealt with.

We are at ML, with a very academic boy, who loves it. He is not sporty , and managed to make lots of friends since day one when he moved from another school into the Prep school.

Academic schools are not for everyone, that is for sure! But all schools have these same issues and you might encounter them or you might be fortunate enough not to.

ML is not for everyone, but I am not going to fault them, they have been supportive, caring, pastoral and challenging enough for my son to love it!

For the record, we are not "pushy" parents. We do not belong in the PTA, we do not have extra tutors, we just get on with it and love the fact that our child comes home happy and has amazing friends.

@Leatherheadmum , you are never going to find the perfect school, but you can find the best school for your child. It won't necessarily be the same for others. If you have made your choice and are happy with it, try not to worry. Alternatively, you can go and ask with Mrs Waite and express your concerns and take it from there.

We are very happy as we found the best school for our child despite what anyone else might say.

By the way, Leatherheadmum, other very strong rumours in this area about ML is what a great school it is. When we commented our choices to others, they all smiled, but when we mentioned our decision, the common comment was "oh wow! he got into ML! that is one clever child" "ML! Well done, that is one top school" ... guess the comment is accordingly to whom you are listening to.

Wish you the best at ML if you don't change your mind.

I have boys at ML and my views are more in-line with the general consensus on here of steering clear unfortunately. Some parents are attracted to the prestige of the school, but if you are looking for an environment which uses carrots rather than sticks and doesn’t have a bullying problem (which in my view is exceptional and not in-line with other schools) then I would recommend looking elsewhere!

I just came across this thread by chance and although no one here has posted for awhile, I just wanted to add a first hand opinion about Milbourne Lodge. My son has been at the school since reception ( year 6 now). He is not particularly academic or sporty. He has thrived at the school the teachers have brought out the best in him. He can’t wait to go in each day. He has the loveliest group of friends … the kind who cheer on the kids who are lagging behind in a race and send get well cards when one of their classmates is unwell. Can’t ask for more

l am a little surprised by some of the negative comments above but I suspect anyone can set up any number of accounts and start a rumour anonymously on social media. So I would always take in a range of people and opinion in real life and beware of people with a grudge.

From our first hand experience, whenever we raised an issue (not a bullying one), the school dealt with it immediately and effectively. The important lesson is everyone learnt from it and we all moved on. What I found is my child becomes more confident and resilient having dealt with these issues rather than shying away from them.

At times children could be economical with the truth but they often learn to get on well with those they don't initially like eventually if parents work with the school and trust the teachers to give children the right guidance and time. It's all part and parcel of growing up.

I have seen parents tried to put pressure on school to distort disciplinary processes to get their ways. But it's really in the children's best interest to take responsibility of their own actions in the safe context of a school rather than later in life though.

I second the comment above about the roaring cheers to the boy who came last in a run on Sports Day. He kept going and crossed the finish line whilst the whole school cheered to support him. It just sums up the school's spirit and culture.

Hi
Sorry to resurrect an old thread! @MKKLC where did you end up in the end? My dd has an offer for year 3 in September and I'm nervous....

Any insights on the school would be welcome

i know her she left after a term or two and went to another school. Some parents like it but they’re sometimes slow dealing with behaviour problems. Guess everyone has different experiences.

@Eshermum73

Thank you for replying - it all helps in the decision making process!

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