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Original poster

Uni in my 30s! Any tips? Worried about being the oldest

32 replies

DanceMonkey19 · 21/06/2020 08:59

I'm starting uni in September, and while I'm really excited, I'm nervous about being so old in a room full of teenagers! I'm in my late 30s with 2 young kids so won't have a lot in common and won't be going on nights out etc as I'll be commuting in each day.

Anyone who has been to uni as a very mature student? How did you find it? Any tips on getting the most out of it?

OP posts:

Sandybval · 21/06/2020 09:01

I didn't, but we had a few in their 30s, 40s and someone in their 50s in our cohort. They got on fine, we still keep in touch and they have all gone on to have good careers. It was also really good to have a different perspective in seminars etc and their experience was really valuable to the group. What are you going to be studying?

JoyFreeCake · 21/06/2020 09:02

It's fine. The kids turn into adults within a term or two and then you're no different from anyone else.

CaptainMyCaptain · 21/06/2020 09:03

I went at 26.there were others close to my age and a couple older. I really enjoyed my time there.

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TippledPink · 21/06/2020 09:05

I went at 23- there were only 3 people younger than me in my cohort, everyone else was in their 30s and 40s. I did Social Work though so it is normally people with life experience doing that course. You will be fine!

worldweary45 · 21/06/2020 09:06

You are absolutely not a very mature student and highly unlikely to be the oldest

I graduated at 40. There were a group of mature students on my course and we'd tend to have lunch together, although we did also mix with the 18 year olds who aren't all into clubbing and won't be able to this year anyway oldest person on my course was 56 but he wasn't the oldest at uni.

What I found worked for me was treating uni like a job. I set myself hours and was on site for those times (9-4). This meant the lines between home and uni weren't blurred. The ones that struggled with workload as building connections with the other students were the people that dashed in with moments to spare at the start of lectures and dashed off again at the end

Original poster

DanceMonkey19 · 21/06/2020 10:18

Thanks all. I'm part time so will be early 40s when I finish. Worldweary45 that's good advice about treating it like a job. I'll only be in 2 days but will try and make them full days and not dash straight off after lectures etc.

sandybval I'm studying speech and language therapy 🙂

OP posts:

Sandybval · 21/06/2020 10:19

Ah amazing, sounds great, I'm sure you'll love it.

worldweary45 · 21/06/2020 14:31

Speech therapy you definitely won't be the oldest -I know someone who just qualified at 52

confusedbymyheritage · 21/06/2020 14:51

With speech and language therapy I doubt you will be the oldest on your course but even if you are, who cares, it's a great opportunity, make the most of the experience.

Having graduated fairly recently the only thing I would say is if there's any kind of group work or assignments (essays, reports ect) and you get grouped or paired with more traditions students (18-24, full time, live in student accommodation or houses) be prepared to be more flexible with possibly going in on your days 'off' or staying late. We had a piece of group work with a mature student and were all excited as we thought they'd be dedicated to getting a good mark, bring a different perspective ect, it turned out to be a nightmare as although they did good work they clearly thought being older than us gave them the right to command us around. They were also incredibly inflexible with arranging group meetings, saying they would only do they days they were on campus between their classes (so if they had a 9-11 and a 4-6 one day they'd only be able to meet 11-4) and nothing else. It was really frustrating and although we produced good work in the end we really resented them for it and at least me and one other girl (I don't know about the rest) lodged a complaint about their lack of flexibility to ensure we wouldn't be grouped with them for future work.

I am not saying you will be like this, just giving my own experiences for a balanced POV. Not all young students are feckless and irresponsible and plenty manage a balance of partying and uni work.

ArriettyJones · 21/06/2020 14:55

We had a piece of group work with a mature student and were all excited as we thought they'd be dedicated to getting a good mark, bring a different perspective ect, it turned out to be a nightmare as although they did good work they clearly thought being older than us gave them the right to command us around. They were also incredibly inflexible with arranging group meetings, saying they would only do they days they were on campus between their classes (so if they had a 9-11 and a 4-6 one day they'd only be able to meet 11-4) and nothing else. It was really frustrating and although we produced good work in the end we really resented them for it and at least me and one other girl (I don't know about the rest) lodged a complaint about their lack of flexibility to ensure we wouldn't be grouped with them for future work.

Sounds like maybe they had work commitments or childcare issues?

confusedbymyheritage · 21/06/2020 15:06

@ArriettyJones

They may have, and we would have been more sympathetic if they'd told us this rather than point blank refusing to do any other times. With group work in general it's all about give and take, so giving us an actual reason why they wouldn't do any other time would have been better and led to a lot less resentment as from out POV they were just ending difficult. Even in student housing you're 30-40 minutes out from campus and we were expected to commute in on our days off for group meetings so in the interest of fairness they really should've extended us the same courtesy or apologised if they couldn't.

And even though the work is in a group ultimately you graduate alone with your own classification so I feel fully justified in asking not to be grouped with them again for the sake of my final grade.

Also I worked with other mature students who were lovely, flexible and I would've loved to work with again. I'm just trying to say if you're treating it like work (going in for X hours 2 days a week) be prepared to be as flexible as you can for group work otherwise you become know as that difficult person.

DivisionBelles · 21/06/2020 15:16

I was 38 when I went to uni and graduated at 41. I wasn't the oldest, there was one person older than me but we did have a very small cohort. I found some of the youngsters a bit annoying to begin with, but by the 2nd/3rd year most had grown up and settled down into work.

It was the best thing I did for myself. It's given me a whole new perspective on life. In my experience, the mature students were the ones who did the best too because they tended to be there because they wanted to be, rather than of any expectation to go to uni. I wish you lots of luck OP.

Springcatkin · 21/06/2020 15:22

Glad to read this - thinking of going to uni and am 52

user1471565182 · 21/06/2020 15:41

You really shouldnt worry. On my course (classics) id say half os us were over 30, with the oldest having just retired.

Id get back into writing essays now though, it can be a bit of a shock to relearn all that and you might not reach your potential if you leave it too late to master.

confusedbymyheritage · 21/06/2020 15:45

In the same vein as @user1471565182 - do all the formative assignments you're offered!

Yes they may not count towards to final grade but they're practise and the feedback you get can be invaluable. Also they're a good way to work out what writing styles/structures ect your lecturer particularly likes or dislikes so that when it comes to summarise assignments you can tailor them specifically to that lecturer to get the best mark possible.

user1471565182 · 21/06/2020 15:48

Id recommend setting up a completely seperate work area as well. Keep all your paperwork in that area and keep TVs and stuff away. Work there to a timetable if you find it helps

CandidaAlbicans2 · 21/06/2020 16:00

As others have said, I doubt very much you'll be the oldest in the class, especially doing a degree like that. I graduated, from a science/medical/health degree aged 50 and I wasn't the only one around that age. Besides, what I found was that age quickly became irrelevant and it was fine. Lots of people going back to uni to train in 2nd careers + so plenty if mature students milling around.
Good luck, it's a great thing to do

Original poster

DanceMonkey19 · 21/06/2020 17:01

I'll bear that in mind confused but unfortunately I won't have a huge amount of flexibility due to having 2 children under 5 and a 90 minute each way commute 😬

OP posts:

confusedbymyheritage · 21/06/2020 17:07

@DanceMonkey19

That's more than ok, it really can't be helped. If you just explain it and say 'sorry to be a pain but I really can't help this' I'm sure people will be understanding. The resentment grows when there's no explanation or reasoning for it and just an expectation that everyone else will bend to fit their will and schedule.

Everyone has their things they can't be flexible about, I worked in a club Friday and Saturdays nights, finishing at 5am, so categorically couldn't do Saturday or sundays until mid afternoon. It definitely would've been a pain to some people but I always explained and apologised for being difficult and we worked around everyone's schedules, that's the key difference.

Original poster

DanceMonkey19 · 21/06/2020 17:12

Yes I see what you mean. I wonder why they didn't explain? I can totally see how that would have annoyed everyone

OP posts:

historygeek12 · 21/06/2020 17:27

I went back at 43 to study history, it was a bit weird at first because everyone was young enough to be my son/daughter! I also found they were a bit wary to talk to me so you may need to be the one to start conversations over the first few classes. But it was fine i really enjoyed it got my degree and now working in a history based job. You will be fine, Go for it!! xx

nannyplumsmagranny · 21/06/2020 18:47

I went and hated it. Only thing I had in common with the older ones was our ages were close. I was the only one with kids so no one understood why I didn't just have 30 minutes to do the work at 6pm (bedtime battles began at that time) and work would need to be done when the kids were in bed.

That's only my experience though, I'm sure there are lots of others who had a much more positive experience. I didn't like my course either which contributed to how I felt about the whole situation.

Original poster

DanceMonkey19 · 21/06/2020 18:58

Oh no nannyplum, did you stick it out? Which course did you do? Sorry to hear you didn't enjoy it

OP posts:

SuckingDieselFella · 21/06/2020 19:01

I am finishing a masters. It's been very hard work, much harder than I thought but I've enjoyed it. The only downside has been other students. Some of the younger ones are very unfriendly.

I agree with treating uni like a job. I did this and had a list of things to do for the days I was on campus.

ScarletZebra · 21/06/2020 19:08

I went to uni at 30 yo. I had to fit it around 2 jobs and 4 DC so I'm really pleased there was no group work on my course!

I really enjoyed it and found it such a thrill to be being taught by the authors of the textbooks. I'm sure you appreciate it more when you are older.

I wasn't the oldest in most of my classes. There were people of every age up to their 70s.

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