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Are you happy living in your house?

99 replies

pretzele · 04/05/2020 20:49

I'm not.

I'm very grateful to have somewhere to live but I'm just not happy here.

It just doesn't feel homely.
There's so many problems and worries with the house and it just gets me down.

I've lived her 5 years and never been happy.

Anyone else felt like this and managed to make things better and enjoy being in your home?

OP posts:
babbi · 04/05/2020 23:06

I absolutely love my house and I am so happy living here .
From day 1 it just felt right .
Can’t see me moving ... it’s perfect .

I loathed my previous house , never settled in it ( to be honest I had wanted to back out of buying that house but DH , now ex DH didn’t want to lose the £500 Deposit )
He agreed it wasn’t the house for us but insisted we went through with it due to the money 🙄🙄🙄
15 years of me moaning about it and wanting to move eventually resulted in a divorce....
it’s a very long time to live in a place where you’re not settled .... to be honest I wish I’d walked sooner now .....

LeahDownTheLane · 04/05/2020 23:09

Yes, I love it so much it’s ridiculous. I still can’t believe it’s ours. We got on the property market aged 24, in an awful area of the city. The cheapest house on the market, fixed it up over two years made a little profit, moved to a market two for four years, nice little house but on a busy main rd. fixed it up and sold it to buy this one, never in a million years did I think we’d be in our dream home in three moves, we’ve now been here three years...absolutely awful when we moved in but it had them feeling’ and we knew what we could do with it and it’s almost done, including a new roof. We’ve done absolutely everything ourselves and on budget. It’s in a tiny village through the woods with no passing traffic. We’re surrounded by paddocks and have half an acre and small orchard. I never take it all for granted.

TheGreatWave · 04/05/2020 23:11

We lived in our last house for 16 years and I was never quite happy, I remember posting on MN about how to make it feel better. DH was happy so never wanted to move. Eventually though he realised how sad the house made me feel and we put the house on the market. - It went on the 3rd viewing, so there was nothing 'wrong' with the house, it just wasn't a home.

This house ticked none of our boxes, we only found it because I totally changed my search criteria on Rightmove. However I absolutely love it (and luckily everyone else does). Like a pp though I don't miss the old house, even though we had all 3 children whilst we were there.

OP - As others have said what is it about the house - though I guess you could be like me and never quite be able to figure out why.

Brigante9 · 04/05/2020 23:15

After 5 years, if you’re not feeling the love, I don’t think you’re going to. Saying that, it’s taken us 17 years to put in a desperate needed new kitchen. I love it, tho, cinema room in the kitchen, huge utility room, pretty garden.

ParkheadParadise · 04/05/2020 23:18

Yes I love our house.
DH owns a house building company. We built our house 10 years ago. I used the interior design company he has to furnish their show homes to help me design the house.
This is definitely our forever home.

FlamedToACrisp · 04/05/2020 23:18

I didn't think much of my modern Lego-block first house - especially the York stone cladding on the porch, which looked like it had been done by a weird amateur. But it was convenient for a young family, loads of kitchen worktop area, plenty of storage, good access to amenities without driving, secure enclosed garden... I found the good points and appreciated them. We made various changes to the property, most of which were in retrospect not particularly improvements!

What I'm saying, I suppose, was that I treated it as a learning experience. I found out what I do and don't like in a house, what are my absolute no-nos, what are my must-haves.

My second house was an old house. Damp problems, bitterly cold, noisy neighbours, but vastly spacious, lots of lovely original features, and best of all a different DH lol.

We're now in my third house - scruffy old Victorian cottage, living in a place I've wanted to be since I was a child. Lots of work to do on it, but bought outright and can afford to make changes. It's our forever home.

You'll find yours eventually, but until then, treat your home as a temporary training ground in deciding what you do want. Practise skills like decorating, organising storage areas, choosing furnishings, gardening etc. and make it the best it can be, for what it is.

CanICelebrate · 04/05/2020 23:29

I love the house we are living in. My house comes with my job and so we haven’t chosen the size, style or area but we are very happy here as we’ve furnished it well and made it really homely.

CanICelebrate · 04/05/2020 23:29

We own a property too which we rent out and I absolutely love that little house as it was my first house

RainMustFall · 04/05/2020 23:56

I've loved mine since the first step into it with the estate agent 19 years ago and still love it and the garden even though both are looking a bit rumpled without my cleaner and gardener. I'm disabled and can't do it myself.

pretzele · 05/05/2020 07:52

A few problems is that it's too small. There are five of us in 2 bedrooms.

We are renting but dh finds moving too stressful and he became really ill when we last moved. We decided because of this we wouldn't move again.

We also went on to have triplets so the plan of only having one or 2 dc didn't work.

We have a lot of decorating that needs doing but the thought of doing it with all the kids at home, all the furniture in the way and with not a lot of money is driving me mad.

There are beetles getting in the house from somewhere and that's causing me a lot of worry as we don't know where they're coming from.

Over the years I just dislike the house more and more. It may be the thought that I'm stuck here that's making me feel like this. I'm concerned that soon my dd will want her own room and I don't know how they can.

On a plus side the neighbors are quite nice.

OP posts:
Megatron · 05/05/2020 07:58

Yes I love my house. It's not perfect and we've had to fix just about everything in it at some point but we've been here 15 years now and although we'll move some time it won't be for a while.

After about 10 years I felt we'd finally got it the way we wanted it but homes are organic aren't they and you change things as you need or can afford to.

tillyteatowel · 05/05/2020 08:00

We moved late last year and are really happy despite a few issues that can’t be fixed right now due to covid. We rent, and it’s far from perfect, but so much better than where we lived until late last year - I was miserable and really needed a change of scene. (Whereas DH could happily live in a cardbox box)

Some things that have made me happier aren’t to do with the house itself though eg did a really thorough declutter and got some new bits I really like. Could you do little things like that to help for now?

tillyteatowel · 05/05/2020 08:04

We are renting but dh finds moving too stressful and he became really ill when we last moved.

Is this something he could talk through with a counsellor? I don’t think it’s reasonable if you’re stuck with 5 people in 2 rooms for the sake of only one of those people.

AnnaNimmity · 05/05/2020 08:08

Can you afford to move OP? I think it sounds like you just need a bigger space - I'm sorry that your H got ill, but can he really not face a move?

I'm ok with my house - I've spent some time decorating it this year and buying nice things for it and as a result I love being in it. The location is really convenient, but not particularly salubrious and it's only that that I'd change. Most of all though, it's mine - I bought it after divorce and it represents my freedom.

TravellingSpoon · 05/05/2020 08:10

No I am not, but that is only because it's an expensive mistake. My STBXH really wanted to move here and I let him talk me into it. Now selling it is on hold, as is my new house purchase. So I am having to pay a really expensive (for me) mortgage until this is all over and we can move.

Daffodil101 · 05/05/2020 08:12

I like my house but it’s not the house I had in mind. I always wanted an Edwardian house, I’m in a large 60s detached.

Lots of space, however renovated the whole house at the same time ten years ago, now everything needs doing again, that’s a lot of carpet to replace.

Constant repainting due to filthy children. Large garden that I’d love to improve but every job would cost a fortune. My patio is wobbly but it’s about 20 metres across, can’t really afford to replace it. I’d love a smaller garden. Ironic, as the garden sold the house to us.

pretzele · 05/05/2020 08:12

@tillyteatowel we have tried. We came close to moving 2 years ago as I sorted everything ( whilst looking after three little ones ) but the week before we had to cancel everything as DH was so stressed. It was scary, so we just left it and decided we couldn't move.

I'm not exactly sure what it is that stresses him about it, I think he moved around a lot as a child and therefore moving brings him a lot of anxiety.

Thinking about it actually since moving here 5 years ago his mental health has been very temperamental. I don't think he's ever fully recovered. Also the added ' fun ' of our dc, maybe it's not so much the house itself but the atmosphere created in it.

OP posts:
JonHammIsMyJamm · 05/05/2020 08:29

There are lots of things I like about this house; really convenient location, good layout and big, characterful rooms, garden that I’ve spent years developing and tending (it’s also a good size for the location), nicely set up & back from the street for privacy.

There are a few things that make it not right and mean we’ll move on in the next 3-5yrs). Whilst the garden is big for the area, it isn’t really big enough for me. We’re missing a few rooms. We don’t have a garage and need one. We would also like an annexe /potential to create one, for a parent who is likely to need it in the next few years.

Ilovetheseventies · 05/05/2020 08:31

Sometimes a house just doesn't feel right so don't be tempted to spend on it. Find something that feels right.
Decorating doesn't cost much though I got some lovely grey paint for my bedroom for £20. I think it can be to do with the amount of care you are putting into a place. Some people just have the knack of making a place lok good. Why not concentrate on tidying and decorating one room and see if that makes a difference?

Lavenderpurple · 05/05/2020 08:36

No. We moved in December and I miss our old home. I’m hoping once we start the work with have planned, I’ll start to feel differently.

Eeyoresstickhouse · 05/05/2020 08:37

I loved our flat, until neighbours from hell moved downstairs and Corona hit. Now I would do anything to move. I am on the verge of a breakdown, we have had music for 58 hours straight now downstairs. Sorry no I tell a lie it went off for an hour yesterday afternoon when the police came out, and then back on.

We now really need to wait until the tenants move out which we are hoping is September before we can sell as we have to declare we got the council and police involved. It will look a lot better on the info form if we say we had a problem with a tenant but they have moved out rather than buy our flat with tenants from hell below you!

Our child was born in this flat, it's a lovely big flat but I now feel unsafe and constantly stressed out being here.

twinnywinny14 · 05/05/2020 08:38

We completed on our home the day my brother committed suicide 6yrs ago. For a long time I associated the house with the pain of bereavement. I took a pay cut to help me cope with depression and we couldn’t afford to do anything to it. After a few years though we started to make changes to it and made it our own and I am on my way to loving it now

tillyteatowel · 05/05/2020 08:39

That sounds really hard but I think it does sound like he needs to get some help.

BettyUnderswoob · 05/05/2020 08:40

I love my house and its location. It’s very large, big plot, very unusual layout, with lounge and kitchen upstairs because of the views, lots of glass. Wonderful village near the sea.
However.
It’s modern. I always wanted a characterful old house, so may move to one some day.

abitoflight · 05/05/2020 08:43

I love my current house and can honestly say I don't experience house envy any longer.
This house it plenty big enough withDC here but doesn't feel too big with just the two of us.
Previously had a massive garden that the gardener spent more time in than we did (tend to go away at weekends). I just look at massive gardens now and mentally tot up ongoing tree surgery costs. And DH is so bored of me talking about scaffolding costs when we go for our long walks at weekends.
The downside is that the ceilings are too high for me to do any decorating myself and I have a number of maintenance jobs that need doing which add up to about £25000 which I'm going to do gradually over next 3 years or so. I go through phases of me getting overwhelmed with it but now I've got a plan it feels more manageable

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