50 gifts for a 50th birthday

[PurpleSock]

My auntie turns 50 in July and she's been like a mum to me since my own mum died when I was a teenager so I want to go all out for her birthday

I was thinking about getting her 50 smaller gifts that I could maybe make into a hamper (or maybe gift separately depending on what they are) but I need some inspiration.

I also don't want to fall in the trap of getting cheap rubbish just because it's cheap and I need to get the number of gifts up

Any suggestions or recommendations would be great, for background, she works in a school full time but not a teacher, and dotes on her 3 grand children, she also speeds a fair amount of time caring for/helping out her mother in law and is the most wonderful loving and generous person I know and I really would like her give her something wonderful back after all she's done for me!

I like reading, but I buy all my books on kindle, and just get them when they're on a 99p deal. And who would know what books I've read

This thread's getting funny now. So, people shouldn't buy books for each other now?

My family buy each other books at pretty much every birthday & Christmas. We know what each other like as we talk to each other about them (shock, horror!). We have can have an educated guess at what each other have read. eg DP loves sci fi, and I know he doesn't often buy new books, so anything by his favourite authors, or with good reviews from the last 6 months is a good bet.

My mum likes to read the Booker prize list and other literary awards. Plus books to do with her hobby and her work.

My sister is harder, but she likes quirky stuff and stuff to do with her work and hobbies.

SIL has a kindle, reads loads and doesn't talk about what she's read. We don't buy her books.

If we buy duplicates, we give them back or pass them on, no problem.

The way this thread is going, people should only ever buy each other massive presents! Some of us can't afford that, and some of us are grateful for well thought-out gifts, whether they're £50 or £5.

Ahhhh - Joy. I spent the final year of my undergrad degree wafting around in a cloud of Joy eau de parfum - which I bought for myself. That was the late 80s. I wonder if it still smells the same ...

Thing is - even perfume is a risky gift by middle age. Of my two favourite things one can only be bought at a single shop in London or outside the U.K. The other is only available (in small quantities) from the US or a couple of places online. So the oft repeated advice to gift givers everywhere to ‘just get her a nice bottle of perfume (from Boots)’ would only leave me with re-gifting fodder.

It is not a pile on. It is a "please don't do this and here is why".
Please don't pull other posters up on when they should and should not post. Our opinions are equally valid in this case.

I'm not pulling up posters for sharing their opinion. I'm pulling them up for not RTFT - and not engaging with what the OP and others have said.

Instead there's post after post of people saying they wouldn't want 50 pieces of tat.

The OP has said she's going ahead, and that she's not going to do 50 stocking fillers / bits of tat.

She's said that she wants to find thoughtful gifts, and that other family members are involved.

50 sounds like a lot, but as I showed in a post above, it could include a few larger items, and a bunch of consumables, and some free stuff that's meaningful.

That's not a bunch of tat! It's basically a couple of larger gifts, and a few smaller ones, in a hamper of nice food and booze. What's wrong with that? It's not overwhelming, definitely not 50 bits of tat.

Or are people anti-hamper now? (I'd better tell all the food halls not to bother with them next Christmas then!)

If the OP was forging ahead saying she wanted to get 50 items from the pound shop then these posters would have a point. But she isn't.

What would be much more helpful would be people thinking of things they would actually like. I don't believe there's nothing that doesn't cost the earth that these posters wouldn't like to receive. And if there genuinely isn't, well then they're kinda wasting their time on this thread!

To be honest I think we are so "stuffed out" these days that presents have lost their value. Once people didn't have so much stuff or buy themselves things all year so getting a book or jumper or perfume for a present was meaningful and useful. A few little treats were just that a treat.

Last Christmas I was equally dismayed by shopping for unnecessary clutter for other people and receiving the same. What have we come to when even giving a birthday present has become a burden?

I think it came home to me when the DC started parties and the house started to fill up with party bag trash and crappy toys. When I started thinking I'd rather have nothing than this.

Hopefully the OP's aunt has escaped being disillusioned by all this and will enjoy her gift as intended.

What would be much more helpful would be ...

It’s a chat thread. People are chatting. None of us is planning to die of a broken heart if the OP says she’ll stick with her original thought. And we’re well aware that MN threads lack the capacity to force any poster to follow any particular course of action. And we’re talking about a birthday present. Not life and death.

Chill ... (Do people still say that? )

OP I think a good thing to do would be tell your Auntie the idea and ask her to list 10 types of things she would like - eg
things to eat
things to drink
stuff for a hobby she has
books by John Grisham...

or obviously what ever she is into and likes!
Then you and your family can pick items and Auntie still gets 50 suprises but you will know that it is things she likes. So if she hasn't put wine on the list don't buy wine or whatever!

I'd love 49 x £5 notes and 1x huge box of Maltesers.

Bookmum thinking about Lego, ok so say you collect Friends or Star Wars how do friends know what you have and how many low cost sets are their in the range you are collecting.

I guess its the same issue with most hobby type gifts, very hard to pick for other people and get it right.

EdtheBear I would write a list.
I literally just had a phone call with my mum about my birthday next month. She asked what I wanted (or rather "I expect you will want Lego") and we decided she would send me cash so I can go to the Lego Store myself because it's easier logistically. However at Xmas I said I wanted a specific set. She got me that set.

It seems in mumsnet world "what would you like for your birthday" is considered an unusual thing to ask. Which I find odd.

@missmouse exactly 50 pictures of the Queen some could say Bank of England others Bank of Scotland or Royal Bank of Scotland or even the Clydesdale bank then I have a set of different pictures too!!!

Bookmum I certainly could give a couple of ideas of sets that I'd really like, or even a contribution to a certain castle . But i really wouldn't appreciate 10 random low cost sets nor could I think of 10 to suggest.

bookmum - fair question.
I have just moved house - into rented - but I can do the garden. I love gardening. I have everything I need for my garden except, (and I was checking out the garden centre this morning), tomato plants, a few summer flowers for pots, some topsoil/compost.

I work but I have been doing so for forty years in a good job so I have all the bags/purses/lunchboxes/ travelcard holders etc that I need.

I have tons of household stuff in storage so no new china or glass, objects, fabrics or furniture please.

I read but I have thousands of books and over the last few years have been using the library as I simply don't have space and I race through a John Grisham or Lee Child in two days. One nice classic book would be a good gift though.

I go to the theatre, opera, ballet and out to eat if I'm with friends - hence suggestion for tickets or restaurant voucher. (Hate afternoon tea).

I would perhaps like a new pair of leggings for pilates/yoga or socks for same.

I have long-ish hair and like elastic hairbands to tie it back. A pair of nice earrings maybe - but these are so easy to get wrong.

I will need a new laptop soon and would like an Apple watch.

But I have really had to think hard about all of these and would still just as soon not have most of them.

I sound pretentious and rich but actually I currently have no money at all!!

EdtheBear I like the little Lego polybags so I could quite easily come up with 10! My current 'I want' is mostly little sets that cost about £9. So maybe I am being ambitious for expecting 10 (+ another 40 if this was for a 50th).
OK plan B...
5 × Lego sets
12 × bags of crisps
12 × chocolate

12 × cans of fizzy

How many is that? I've lost count!

I'd be very disappointed indeed if I got normal bars of chocolate or cans of fizzy drink for my 50th. I'd pretend to be pleased, but I'd be wishing you'd bought be one nice bottle of wine or one nice box of good chocolates instead.

12 × bags of crisps
12 × chocolate
12 × cans of fizzy

just pop up to lidl and get 50 cans of beans.

bookmum08 are you really saying you’d be delighted to receive 12 bags of crisps as a fiftieth birthday present?

Genuinely confused ...

Nothing says I love you more than 12 packs of salt n vinegar crisps!

I don’t want to be a wet blanket but as I’ve got older I find my desire for “stuff” has dramatically declined

THiS!!!!!!

I’m heading toward 50 and have an aversion to more ‘stuff’ in my home. I’m forever clearing cupboards and drawers.... it’s just accumulates.

I think really special tickets like a band she loves or theatre where you go with her and maybe buy dinner in advance would perhaps be more memorable and appreciated?

Although ... Perhaps I should ask myself why I would find the crisips unacceptable, but a case of wine pretty much perfect.

George probably because you wouldn't think twice about throwing a multi bag of crisps in the trolley on your way round Asda but you'd never buy a case of wine unless you had a party planned.

Even putting value / cost aside most would prefer a single bottle of wine to a multi bag of crisps which would be about the same value.

I can't stand wine. Worst present ever. Crisps however, would be perfect! How are you getting on OP? Made a start?

Yes I'm keen to know what the OP has got so far.
I am really interested to see how you can get 50 things, not spend a fortune and yet not give tat. I don't want to pour cold water on it so am prepared to learn.

@PurpleSock, how are you getting on so far?

George 12 packs of posh crisps or unusual ones I wouldn't normally buy. I would so enjoy that as a birthday pressy. I like crisps. However I don't buy those fancy flavour Kettle Chips very often so they would be a very nice treat for me.
My 12 × bags of crisps suggestion was a bit tongue in cheek but birthday presents don't have to always be serious and sensible. For example my daughter loves M+Ms. If I went to one of those American Candy shops I could get various varieties not sold in regular shops. Normally I wouldn't buy these as they are something daft like £1.75 a pack. But for a birthday treat I might. This is what I mean by getting 12 × something. It doesn't have to be stuff that is eaten regularly but something that's of a type of favourite (ie crisps) but just a bit different.
My sister bought me a bag of crisps a few xmas's ago that were made from root vegetables rather than potatoes.