Keep hearing people say that flowers are a crap thing to send a new mum. Are they?? What would you send instead?

[Mismanaged2]

I love getting flowers! Absolutely love it. They make my house smell and look lovely. Getting them is a delight.

But are they a crap gift for a new mum?? I wouldn’t have thought so, but I heard someone say it. (Tbh if someone had sent me flowers after my baby was born, I would have been thrilled. No one did though! Instead, lots of newborn baby clothes and toys. Which, actually, I didn’t really need... very gratefully received though.)

What do you think?

When I had my children I just loved getting baby clothes. Every time someone brought some 'treat' for me I was (quietly) disappointed they hadn't thought to bring something for my beautiful new baby instead. I know a lot of people feel different about this though!!

Totally agree with this. Also we don't have much space for big bouquets of flowers, I remember feeling guilty about rolling my eyes when work sent me a huge bunch post birth and we had nowhere to put them. I never have liked sparkling wines and alcohol was the last thing I wanted with sleepless nights. I don't enjoy baths or other pampering stuff much. I realy did just want baby stuff.

Even food deliveries can be tricky - my freezer was always crammed pre birth so fitting other things in was impossible.

Honestly, a John Lewis or marks and Spencer voucher is brilliant. Can be spent on stuff for baby or nice food for mum and dad. By far my favourite present.

How close are you to the couple? If not that close or close but living at the other end of the country then flowers are a lovely idea. If you know them really well and they are nearby I would cook them a few meals that they can freeze then drop them off ( but refuse to go in), new parents usually want space but something practical would probably go down better.

I can't be arsed with flowers. After I had ds1 the house looked like a fucking florist shop. I'd have rather have had anything else that didn't come with a bloody to-do list.

I tend to agree with gift cards, there's no pressure then, you can save them until you need something. I was never given meals, but our freezer is always fully stocked and we live within half a mile of several supermarkets so it was easy enough for us to manage shopping and cooking.

My friend sent me cupcakes with congratulations on the icing . They were vanilla, lemon and chocolate . They were lovely, I really appreciated them as I was very low at the time .

I've had 3 babies in the past 5 years and agree. Another living thing to look after is not what I wanted!
I loved chocolate, fancy bath stuff... not much else I can think of actually.

A voucher for the local COOK shop would be far more useful. Flowers are lovely but not practical.

Flowers are nice in moderation if they're pre-arranged. But I'd have preferred fewer flowers and more chocolate tbh.

I likw flowers for thw first few days (prearranged in water are the best!) but i hate it once they start to wilt - i feel bad chucking them out as most as fine, leave it to long and then end up having to chuck out old rotting stems.

We got a big delivery of cook meals when we had dd2 which was amazing!

I would have much preferred chocolate, biscuits and cake personally. The flowers were just a bit of a faff to sort out and then clear up afterwards.

I had flowers, not allowed on the ward so they had to go home with DH and had all but died by the time I got there, 8 days later after DC1. The best ever gift was a New Mum’s pampering box from Neal’s Yard. For 2 births, it was the only time I was really given anything just for me. Boy, did I ever appreciate it!!!! It was from a more experienced mum friend, who knew just what to do. It gave me a boost. 🌷

There is actually a website called 'Don't but her flowers' which was set up with this in mind - it has some really good options, it's customisable and you can add COOK vouchers.

My best friend sent me a massive box of the most delicious brownies the second time around, and first time she filled my freezer with easy to heat up meals. She's good like that.

Meant to say 'don't buy her flowers'. Obviously 😁

DH said he sat at home in the evenings after visiting time surrounded by flowers and cards feeling really lonely and depressed because we were still in hospital and he couldn’t stay with us. And by the time i got home the foowers were all brown.

The Neil's Yard pampering gift would be lovely. I really enjoyed a spa style Japanese bath gel from the Body Shop. They've never stocked it since.

Dunno, I'm really not a fan of flowers, though I feel I ought to be. I'd rather have a plant tbh so DH can look after it

My best friend sent me a massive box of the most delicious brownies the second time around, and first time she filled my freezer with easy to heat up meals. She's good like that.

^

This would be more up my street

My work sent flowers when I was off on maternity leave with my DTs. I found twins bloody hard, and started prioritising additional work pretty ruthlessly, so when I got home and found the box on the doorstep I'm afraid I opened it, put the flowers into my green waste bin and the box straight into the cardboard recycling. They looked expensive as well. But I've never seen the point of flowers - watching them every day to judge whether they've died enough to warrant putting in the bin yet.

I'd have appreciated ready/homemade meals with vegetables in them, or Mothercare vouchers for kit that we only realised would be useful once the babies had arrived. Or most of all, a visit or a meetup, particularly during the week when everyone's at work a day you're staring down five days of solo childcare. For me it was about practical help (my mate who doesn't do babies going "I don't know how to give a baby a bottle!" and I'm like "well she's hungry and her sister is still halfway through this one so give it a go, I'm sure she'll be grateful") but also just seeing a familiar face and not feeling like you've just fallen out of your own life.

Some of the comments on this thread are bizarre. Surely even with a newborn somebody can find the 20 seconds required to put some flowers in a vase?!

I'm a florist near a hospital so we sell a lot of flowers for new mums.

The one thing that drives me up the fucking wall is people wanting to send blue or pink flowers depending on the sex. The baby won't care! Get something mum will like!

Flowers are seen as a luxury so I guess it's always nice to receive something more extravagant than you would buy for yourself. But then I'm in the "Shoemakers children go barefoot" camp and never have flowers at home!

People who didn’t know me so well sent flowers. We have cats and so I was stuck under a feeding newborn, painful stitches and trying to shoo the cats from nibbling poisonous flowers.

I appreciated the sentiment, but I ended up having to perch the flower on a wheelie bin outside the window & lock the cats indoors.

@LadyOfTheCanyon omg I've never heard anything so ridiculous in my life! It's bad enough that 90% of DS' cards & gifts were pastel blue but matching flowers is next level daftness!

@Ribrabrob you know what, I was so overwhelmed with a newborn, tiredness and in pain that I could barely find 20 seconds to brush my teeth first time round. Doing something that wasn’t essential to survival was unimaginable. With subsequent children I have felt differentbut still, cutting down what I had to do to bare essentials required for survival is what has kept me sane.

I got loads of flowers after giving birth- I appreciated them because they were the one pretty thing in a house that looked a total mess in the first few weeks with a newborn! But the best thing we received was a bag of food - pizzas, puddings, biscuits, cans of coke etc - that really helped on days when cooking was just too much or when we needed sugar/caffeine. Since then when friends have had babies I've made up some chilli/stew/lasagne etc, froze them and then dropped them round, as easy food is probably the most helpful gift for parents in those sleep deprived early days.