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Original poster

Awkward wedding

38 replies

amarylis10 · 13/12/2010 16:44

We have a family wedding abroad next year and I'm worried about arrangements...

It's continental but in a remote spot, so door to door travel will be approx. 8-9 hours. Accomodation is self catering but no amenities are nearby so we've been told we'll need to hire a car. Neither of us are would be confident driving on the other side of the road so nervous of hiring a car. It will be quite hot (c. 30 degrees). Our dd will be 13 months. We are expected to go for a week - the cost will probably be c.£1200.

Basically I'm really unsure about the whole thing but not going is not an option. I think the travel and heat will be too much for dd and I don't fancy having our first trip abroad with her spent cooped up with the in-laws and strangers.

We're considering our options and have indentified a few:

(a) suck it up and go for the week (not my favourite)
(b) leave our dd with my folks but only go for 3/4 days (cost won't reduce much if at all though, unfortunately, accommodation is fixed price)
(c) me stay at home with dd and let DH go on his own for the week (as it's his family).

None of these options look appealing to me.

What would you do?

OP posts:

suzikettles · 13/12/2010 17:48

I can only comment on the driving - I felt the same as you when I first faced driving on the right and it was a bit worse as dh doesn't drive so it was all down to me.

Anyway, it was fine, really, really fine. Because you're driving a car that's geared up for it (rather than taking your own car abroad) you get used to it in about half an hour. In this context a longer drive is ideal as you'll get a good shot at it and get the nerves out of the way the first day.

Ds didn't go anywhere hot until he was about 2, but both my niece and nephew went on family holidays abroad at the age your dd will be and by all accounts (and the photos) had a great time in the open air and the pool.

Original poster

amarylis10 · 13/12/2010 18:22

Thanks for your post suzikettles, it will probably be me driving if we go, so hoping it won't be as bad as I fear.

OP posts:

muddleduck · 15/12/2010 12:12

We went to a wedding like this when ds1 was 13months. We spent 1 night at the wedding venue then 10 nights on our own somewhere else about an hour away just the 3 of us. We had a really lovely time and I'm glad we went.

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Weddings

bairn24 · 22/12/2010 15:09

Do you HAVE to go for the whole week?
Could you do just 2 or 3 days with the wedding party and then go off for a ew days just the 3 of you? That way you're combining it with something you want to do.

Sisqinanamook · 22/12/2010 15:14

We did this when DS was 12mo, he handled the heat the best of all of us, we had an amazing time, and all the family around means the responsibility of watching DS is split, actually got a little alone time with dh! Driving, yeah not so nice.

shinyshoesandglitterypoos · 22/12/2010 15:16

Fail to get a passport in time.

omaoma · 22/12/2010 15:22

i think you should see it as an excuse to have a fantastic break with dh and leave the little one with family.
that way the major stress is off your mind, the driving won't seem so bad without worrying about having a baby in the back, and grandparents will have a great time with the little one.
as it's such an investment, throw yourself into having a great romantic time with your partner, i'm guessing you won't have had that time together since you had DC?

Original poster

amarylis10 · 27/12/2010 15:15

Thanks all for the posts lots to consider. I'm half thinking of just biting the bullet & going for the week with babs in tow. It's not ideal but as some of you have said it may not be as bad as I fear, and really none of the various other possibilities are perfect either.

I think I'd miss dd too much if we left her behind, and going for a shorter stay still has all the travel hassle for much the same cost..also don't have to justify my decision to the family if we go with the flow.

Nothing booked yet so not set in stone, but thanks everyone for the feedback.

OP posts:

taintedsnow · 02/01/2011 17:52

When people decide to get married abroad, they should never expect that others will go. It's the cost, the travel, the sheer amount of time it takes, etc. The same goes for close family. If they are the type of people who will guilt trip you if you don't go, for me that's another reason to stay home and save the money. I will not have my life dictated for me, and if there's pressure from ILs, sod them I'm afraid.

There is definitely an option here of you not going at all, it's just up to you whether you want to consider it.

ShoppingDays · 04/01/2011 01:54

Stay somewhere nicer and pop over to the actual venue for the day?

expatinscotland · 04/01/2011 01:59

I'd go for a.

I'm from a hot place, though. First took DS when he was 18 months. Much longer journey.

He's still here!

We're going to do it again, too, this time when it will be 40C+ and 80%+ humidity.

With three children.

This whole 'let DH go'. Fuck that.

All of you go.

spidookly · 04/01/2011 02:27

Not going is always an option, as has been pointed out, an invitation is not a summons, and an invitation that requires a week of your time and £1200 of your money is one you should give serious thought to turning down if it doesn't suit you.

That said, DH and I brought DD1 to a wedding in Portugal at 4 months, and one in Canada at 17 months and had a great time at each despite arduous travelling.

Just remember that this is on your terms - other people don't get to decide whether you go, how long you are required to attend for, where you will stay (are there cheaper options for less than a week?), how you will get around (although make sure you can be independent)

Slightly · 04/01/2011 02:33

Go!

We took DD1 to my MILs wedding in Spain at 13mths, and she had a wonderful time. We've always taken our girls away to hot places - its much easier to keep them cool than you think, take a pushchair that lies back and lots of cotton cot sheets.

As for the driving - I completely understand, we moved here (USA) in September and at the grand old age of 34 29 I had never driven on the wrong side of the road and I was terrified, literally shaking as I got in the car and felt sick. And it was fine, absolutely fine. I'm really cross with myself for being so nervous.

Have a lovely time

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