Godparent changing

[DSM]

Can you change a Childs godparents? My DS is 5 and sadly, his godmother (whom I had been best friends with for 12 years, and literally saw every day) hasn't seem us since his 2nd birthday.

I'd really like to 'cancel' her godmother status, and reappoint a new one. Is this even a done thing? Do you have to make it official in some way? Should a small ceremony be held? Will people find it odd/offensive?

I can fully sympathize as I've often wished I could change my youngest daughter's godparents as none of them seem to want any active part in her life which makes me sad. Particularly as one set are my BIL and SIL... You wouldn't think a birthday card should be too much trouble from an aunt and uncle would you? Nevermind that they're godparents too... 😢 And yes we do have a good relationship with them so there's no hidden reason why they don't bother - it's just the way they are... I wish I could make my BF godmother instead 🤔

If you are C of E it can be done at the child's Confirmation. (Check Google). If you are not religious discuss with those you want as the godparents and list them as preferred guardians in your will.

I have had the same thing happen, the godfather (my brother)to both my children and one godmother (my sister in law)hasn't seen them for 2 years and then it was because of Christmas, they only live 15 mins away and never ask how they are. The other godmother hasn't seen them since the ceremonies over 19 years ago. Had some bonding time with my daughter and she mentioned that it made her sad that she had no relationship with them. We are a small family and my brother has no children and my parents were both only children. Their Dad walked out in 2013 after their Grandfather died and their grandmother has dementia. My lovely godmother sends me cards and we keep in touch and I love her like one of the family. Their father's side of the family never contact them. I have long term friends who are always there for my children, ask about them and my children think of them like family. I too wish I had chosen them so its a valid question. Although we aren't church goers my daughter has been confirmed and her godparents didn't turn up. We are spiritual. I shall ask them to be honorary godparents, I think it is a nice idea.

Then what happens when you fall out with newly appointed godparent? Do the same again? You should have chosen wisely in the first place OP

I can’t believe how self righteous some people ie the one above have been.
You choose a godparent carefully and with the best of your judgement at the time. When someone has been close to you for over 30yrs you don’t expect them to suddenly change. As you can do nothing about that then choosing another godparent is very sensible and the right thing to do. I’m looking into it myself and am having a meeting with my vicar in the new year. Good luck to those of us in the same boat. Have a happy Christmas xx

I know this is years ahead of the original post so forgive me but I am having the exact same feels! I feel so guilty that I was so wrong in my choice! I to picked a friend that I thought would always be there but turns out I was completely wrong. I feel really guilty for my son and I don't really know why as I can just not count her as a godparent but I was wondering the same thing. I may throw my own christening party and name someone else godparent myself 🤣

If you are Catholic (maybe in CofE) there is a child's sponsor for their confirmation, so perhaps whoever you would wish had been a godparent could be there on that occasion?

I do get where the OP is coming from, if only because my godmother is still someone who is a part of my life, and so was my godfather until he died a few years ago.

Just been researching this myself and found online it states that when you get your child confirmed that you can say to the vicar the old godparents are no longer involved so I would like these people to take there place and you can officially do it that way and it also states that a infant baptism isn't really counted and a child should be rebaptized below is all the information

@cedlady this is 12 years old 🤣
I’m quite intrigued at just how many times it’s been bumped in thar time though!

Hi there,
I do not think you are odd either.
My sons are now 20 yrs old and we have fallen out with my eldest's Godmother and she was my husbands niece. She hasn't looked the road that my sons are on and she is a nasty piece of work. My eldest son has actually asked if he can change his Godmother because he can't stand the sight of her. My other sons' Godmother was my Mum who has sadly passed away. They both have autism so it is important to me that they have someone in their lives that they can turn to in their hour of need if they feel that they can't speak to me or their dad.
I have looked it up and although you cannot cancel out the previous ceremony, it is up to you and your choice to do what you want. We have decided to have a humanist ceremony where the new Godmothers will make a commitment in front of family to help them in their lives when needed. I hope this helps. You can have these ceremonies at home or you can also go to the Salvation army church and they will also do it "in the eyes of God" if you so wish.

Wow!!!!! Judgemental Much!!! and I bet you have made good choices your entire life . NOT!

You sound a little patronising to me. It was an honest question. Not everybody is familiar with religious ceremonies and beliefs. Maybe a little more understanding of a genuine question to someone in need of a patient more understanding answer going forward.

Better to write a will and appoint a legal guardian. God parent doesn't mean anything really , unless you are religious

Do people realise that the OP was in December 2010?

This thread is from 2010!!!! Why did you resurrect it?

To MJR1984 I'm sorry - would that be me you are talking about? I am not intent on being patronising - I am not the one who is saying about falling out with newly appointed guideparents. I am merely commenting on the pessimism in the writers twooutofthreeaintbad's comment. I apologise if I offended anyone.
As for the other comments I have made a will and appointed a legal guardian thank you and I am now well aware that the original post was in 2010. As for why I resurrected it, I searched for an answer to my own similar issue and decided to answer the original poster by giving them a little bit of support. I didn't realise I did anything that I shouldn't. Just so you all know, I have now got Guideparents for my twin sons so thank you all for so much support and guidance!!! Now that was sarcasm!!!

You do not sound “odd” for simply asking a question like you did. Even if you did think this was possible why would that make you “odd”? People clearly have their issues who called you “odd”. Possibly projecting.