AIBU ? Probably. Why do I feel so threatened ? And is there anything I can do ? Probably not.
DS1 in Year 1. I fell out with a mum in the first term of reception. 3 boys playing a bit roughly. mine was as much to blame as the other 2. approached the mum and she just went mad. claiming her PFB didn't do this and it was all my sons fault. Then she ignored me and has snubbed more for the last 18 months. My son was extricated from the small group, not invited to some parties. he had other friends aswell and has since got on fine. but i felt bad that i hadn't handelled it better. i was so naieve that playground politics and nastiness went on. i had other mums to talk to, but it was hard being blanked by her.
then i became friends with another mum. turned out she lives in the next street. her son was in the other reception class. then in year 1, they were put in the same class. our kids get on o.k. not great but o.k. and i like her. her ds2, pushes my ds2 around alot, but we try and ignore, tell him off. they come for bbq's with her dh and my dh getting on fine.she pops round for coffee on my days off (2.5 pick ups, work 2.5 days). we are close and i value her highly.
she unfortunatly had also just been extricated from a much larger group, in reception, becasue her son was too rough. turned out it wasn't just him, and when they mixed the kids up, to go into year 1, he has since thrived.now that old big group that she was once part of all socialise alot and also has loads kids parties. that her son is nothing to do with. this pains her. she had all my sympathy, becasue i had been through similar, although hers was worse.
when i am in the playground , i often walk in with her, since we've just had coffee at my house, but we both talk to lots of others mums aswell.
she goes to a party, the other day. the old mum i fell out with is there. she has fallen out with a number of other mums and tells my friend she is very lonely. and that she has no one to talk to. and says she would like to become friends with my friend.
but that can't be true. she does talk to other mums in year 1. and her 2nd son is in reception, so surely she has also made friends there.
so my friend asks if its o.k. to basically talk to her. because this mum has also fallen out with one of our other friends, over also saying that her son is too rough. PFB again, I think to myself.
Don't be so silly, i say, you can talk to however you want. I say, meaning it and also trying to do the right theing.
but then later, i think about it. this woman knows that my freind is close, after she blanked me. of all the women in either year 1 and reception ( 2 classes of 30, so she has the choice of 120 women) to make new friends. why is she choosing my old friend.
i speak to dh and he says that i am over thinking and being paranoid. mind you he also thinks that my friend is so nice, she probably won't realise that she's being used.
which is true. she's too nice. but this other woman really hurt me. she is proud to be a toal bitch and claims this. this is probably a protective measure.
why does she want to be friends with my friend.
actually as i type that, i feel like a silly 6 yr old myself. why am i so threatend?
i don't want to bad mouth this other woman. and appear to be bitchy and bitter. do i have to let this drop and just hope that my friend doesn't get hurt ?