Page 2 | I work in a SEND school AMA

user1471508872 · 2025-10-30T18:24:49+00:00

Work in a SEND school. This school takes in all of the kids that no one else will. We are known as a ‘last resort’ school. AMA

Original poster

user1471508872 · 30/10/2025 22:14

whatissleep01 · 30/10/2025 22:01

Looking at some of your replies it sounds like a tough but also quite rewarding job. Do you feel fulfilled and proud of the work that you do?

Yes I absolutely love it. I always feel proud knowing that I’m making a difference in these kids lives even if that’s only a small one.

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Original poster

user1471508872 · 30/10/2025 22:18

Moonlightfrog · 30/10/2025 22:09

Do you find there’s a much higher ratio of boys to girls in your school? My dd has been to several schools and SEN placements and we have always found it’s 80% boys. She’s currently in a placement where she’s one of two girls there. My daughters needs are very complex but she has no aggressive behaviour, finding placements for her has been hard as there are often violent students, she has been punched and had a chair thrown at her in the past, this then makes it hard for her to attend (as she’s scared).

I’ve never really thought about it before but now you’ve mentioned it there is definitely a much higher ratio of boys than girls.

Bless her. Usually in our school the aggression will be targeted towards staff but any child that we know will target other children is always watched extra carefully when they are around others. A lot of our students have their own rooms off the main classrooms so it’s usually not an issue but if a child had a behaviour when others were around we would always remove the other children from the environment while the behaviour is being dealt with.

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ButWhysTheRumGone · 30/10/2025 22:20

What is your opinion on PDA and how does your school deal with it? For example if a child with PDA is flat out refusing to do something non-negotiable due to safely and having a meltdown, how does your school respond?
I have a school mum friend with a child with ADHD, PDA and autism who is being sent to a mainstream secondary school. He’s not coping with the primary school that is relatively small and I worry how he will cope at the local big comp.
My 3dc have autism and ADHD and the two older ones struggled dreadfully through secondary. I think there needs to be more SEN schools personally. Inclusion isn’t always best for the child or the rest of the children.

GoulishGuisingPants · 30/10/2025 22:26

I am regularly required to look after children specialist provision have turned down as unable to safely meet need. They are non verbal, in some cases unable to meaningfully communicate in any way and on the whole incontinent. There are many complex needs and some do things like eat poo and poisonous things at extreme speed, or self injure. I am in mainstream and have no support at all. The main room I use doesn't even have a phone to try to get support... Sometimes it's amazing, but sometimes I'm straight up beaten up. I have had bruises, scars and blood drawn frequently; recently someone has taken up attempting to gouge my eyes with very great force, meaning all you can do is cover your eyes protectively and hope.

As I say, I'm mainstream, but this has been the case for years. We routinely fight for EHCPs and have Specialist say needs too high and cannot be met. I actually really like doing SEN 1:1, but I am tired of being routinely battered with no support. How does this compare to your experience? Would I be better off in Specialist, rather than Mainstream in this regard?

Original poster

user1471508872 · 30/10/2025 23:00

ButWhysTheRumGone · 30/10/2025 22:20

What is your opinion on PDA and how does your school deal with it? For example if a child with PDA is flat out refusing to do something non-negotiable due to safely and having a meltdown, how does your school respond?
I have a school mum friend with a child with ADHD, PDA and autism who is being sent to a mainstream secondary school. He’s not coping with the primary school that is relatively small and I worry how he will cope at the local big comp.
My 3dc have autism and ADHD and the two older ones struggled dreadfully through secondary. I think there needs to be more SEN schools personally. Inclusion isn’t always best for the child or the rest of the children.

We have a few students with PDA. Usually there will be strategies in place to support these students and help us communicate with them in a way that we wouldn’t cause a meltdown. Obviously there is always times where this doesn’t happen and strategies don’t always work.

If the child isn’t in any immediate danger then we would just wait it out, let them regulate and then try a different approach. If the child was in immediate danger and we couldn’t get them to safely move away by asking them to move/stop and explaining it’s not safe (trying to run in roads, trying to climb where it isn’t safe etc) we would likely have to use a restraint hold to move the child where they were then safe.

Secondary school is hard work with SEN kids. I have two boys who are both struggling their way through secondary school because they’re ‘not bad enough’ to be in a specialist school. They’re also ‘not good enough’ for mainstream. There’s a whole group of children in this category that are just being left to fail by the system in my opinion.

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Original poster

user1471508872 · 30/10/2025 23:06

It sounds like you are getting no support at all from the school you are in which is probably the biggest issue.

It’s not fair at all that children that clearly need specialist help are being left to fail in mainstream schools but there just isn’t enough specialist settings. It can actually be really traumatic for the children to be in the wrong setting too.

I am likely dealing with very similar behaviours but I am rarely 1:1 as most of our kids are 2:1 and we even have some who are 3:1. We get given specialist training yearly on how to manage behaviours and we also have tons of support after we have dealt with a behaviour too. I definitely couldn’t do the job in a mainstream setting

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hercattitude · 30/10/2025 23:31

my mother grew up in one of the poorest parts of ireland, she was born in the 30's of the last century, very catholic. she says they had "the pot" in that children who were not talking, autistic and requiring help were put under a large iron pot until they passed away. she is a very honest person and that is how they managed it.

Letmeexplainsomething · 30/10/2025 23:39

What do the children do once they leave the school? Do they find employment, if so what kind

soundsys · 31/10/2025 00:01

hercattitude · 30/10/2025 23:31

my mother grew up in one of the poorest parts of ireland, she was born in the 30's of the last century, very catholic. she says they had "the pot" in that children who were not talking, autistic and requiring help were put under a large iron pot until they passed away. she is a very honest person and that is how they managed it.

Given this thread is largely going to be parents or carers of kids with SEN... Why on earth did you feel it necessary to share that?!

tellmesomethingtrue · 31/10/2025 01:01

ButWhysTheRumGone · 30/10/2025 22:20

What is your opinion on PDA and how does your school deal with it? For example if a child with PDA is flat out refusing to do something non-negotiable due to safely and having a meltdown, how does your school respond?
I have a school mum friend with a child with ADHD, PDA and autism who is being sent to a mainstream secondary school. He’s not coping with the primary school that is relatively small and I worry how he will cope at the local big comp.
My 3dc have autism and ADHD and the two older ones struggled dreadfully through secondary. I think there needs to be more SEN schools personally. Inclusion isn’t always best for the child or the rest of the children.

I’ve worked in a SEN school and it was fairly rare that children had full on meltdowns as the support systems put in place by staff enabled their needs to (mostly) be met and diffuse situations that could potentially lead to a meltdown. Children are more likely to experience overwhelm and meltdown in settings outside the SEN school environment.

tellmesomethingtrue · 31/10/2025 01:02

hercattitude · 30/10/2025 23:31

my mother grew up in one of the poorest parts of ireland, she was born in the 30's of the last century, very catholic. she says they had "the pot" in that children who were not talking, autistic and requiring help were put under a large iron pot until they passed away. she is a very honest person and that is how they managed it.

That’s a horrible and irrelevant thing to post.

Original poster

user1471508872 · 31/10/2025 06:38

Letmeexplainsomething · 30/10/2025 23:39

What do the children do once they leave the school? Do they find employment, if so what kind

Most of them end up going to day centres. Some will go into supported living where they will have their own full staff team. Some of them will stay at home with a team of PA’s.
I don’t know of any children that have attended the school that get employment.

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SleeplessInWherever · 31/10/2025 09:13

hercattitude · 30/10/2025 23:31

my mother grew up in one of the poorest parts of ireland, she was born in the 30's of the last century, very catholic. she says they had "the pot" in that children who were not talking, autistic and requiring help were put under a large iron pot until they passed away. she is a very honest person and that is how they managed it.

Well. We’ve let ours live all the way to 9. Not sure there’s a pot big enough now.

Disgusting.