Diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, AMA

[StormySea23]

As above, just been diagnosed with ADHD as a 46 year old woman. Happy to talk about the process!

Have you read the ops description yet? Yes, it fits me. No I won’t get a diagnosis and pay for medication.

Im lucky that dh is completely the opposite and has to do things and get them done as they happen.

I sit in a classroom everyday. The amount of children who fit this narrative is probably half in my class. More in others. So no. Just because you say you’re diagnosed, you don’t get to close others down.

Guys I think I have ADHD and here’s why.

i get really overwhelmed easily about the smallest of things, and my brain can get very very verrrrry easily overstimulated. I constantly feel like I have loads of adrenaline in my brain that wants to come out … does that make sense to anyone please ?

@StormySea23 hope you are ok with my answering this too. Please let me know if not and I promise not to do it again.

To answer @ThejoyofNC ‘s question. I am often asked about this and I feel very strongly about it. ADHD is a significant medical diagnosis, not a mere ‘label’ as many people describe it. It has indirectly adversely impacted many aspects of my health and other areas of my life. And yet it is highly treatable with medication that has been in existence for decades. I have had only abusive relationships - women with ADHD are more vulnerable to abuse. I was in horrendous debt - as you probably know, people with ADHD often have a tendency to be dangerously impulsive. I have a chronic illness and am now too ill to work - according to my ADHD doctor, the stress of living with undiagnosed and untreated ADHD was probably a contributing factor. My mental health has been appalling for many years - obviously part of the problem was domestic abuse but it only got under control when I went on ADHD drugs.

More generally, there are a number of health conditions that people with ADHD are more likely to have than the rest of the population, so it makes it easier for doctors to find the most likely diagnosis if they know you have ADHD.

Also, or course, ADHD medication helps with concentration and focus. People with ADHD often get fired due to this, so it is incredibly helpful to stay in employment and obviously study.

I’m sure there are many more reasons but these ones are all very important.

I think a lot of folks come to this realisation whilst getting their kids diagnosed. That's not my experience but I've seen it before.

For me I work with students with ADHD (not exclusively!) and began to realise how familiar their stories were to me. That was step one but self doubt held me back for a good while. It was my manager who encouraged me to get an assessment.

ADHD360 is a private company; did your GP accept their diagnosis and offer treatment on the basis it? Thanks

Didn't want to leave this unanswered although I don't have great answers. I did find the assessor was helpful in probing and supporting in finding the examples and you have to have them in most but not all. I hope you get some support x

I think you’re right. I was mad at myself for not making the connection sooner. Then I have blamed myself for my sons struggles, classic. But, I have also learnt to embrace it too and hold down a good job. I’ve had 7 promotions in 10 years, thats very ADHD of me 🤣 but I gave to be careful and switch off. It shows you can achieve and I find the corporate world adjusts, lots of smaller meetings, easy to jump on teams but also have hybrid working so be at home and quiet to stop being over stimulated. I do want help though, as life shouldn’t be this hard, the rollercoaster is wild of emotions.

By no means did I include every symptom. I had pages of A4 and also talked for the full hour and a half about my life experiences.

I won't shut you down but don't shut me down either.

Yes on the diagnosis - the GP selected them. I'm not seeking medication but yes they would have titrate it for me and then the GP would have accepted it through shared care.

I won’t. But you readily replied to someone “I will have no truck with that nonsense” I was pointing out just because someone chooses not to pay and navigates their own way without medication it’s fine. I thought it was relevant when I read the comments.

I think it's entirely possible you have misread me there. I was referring to people (like my SIL who is a TEACHER) who say ADHD is a 'trendy' diagnosis. I haven't done this on a whim, it has been in my head for years.

If what you meant was that you think you have ADHD yourself, but don't need a diagnosis, that's entirely your choice and all power to you. That's just not how I read your message but happy to be wrong.

A TEACHER??!! Wow 🤣

ADHD isn’t a trend as she has embarrassingly put it. It’s an excuse for some parents but a reality for the child. All behaviour has a reason. It can be undiagnosed issues or some type of trauma.

Adhd is one of the many things I support.

Believe me when I say it's only scratching the surface of the issues I have with her 😂

I am certain I have ADHD myself, thought about getting tested but I'm unlikely to use medication due to having chronic migraine and very med seems to make them worse. Is their any benefit to getting tested aside from getting access to the medication?

I’ll stop disagreeing then as we’re obviously on the same page!

Other than the obvious one which is to give you a lens through which to view who you are and what you've experienced, I would say workplace adjustments and also potentially funding through Access to Work.

I'm looking to get some ADHD specific counselling/coaching to help develop strategies, but there is also funding towards equipment depending on your needs. For example sit to stand desks have been shown to have positive benefits for a lot of ADHDers.

Work adjustments could include provision for additional WFH days during high stress periods, permissions to wear headphones or noise cancelling earliest (Loops) if it's not normally allowed. Have a Google as I found some useful threads on Reddit.

But it's not compulsory and it is fine to claim it for yourself without the assessment x

@StormySea23 Thank you, I'm self employed so I am not sure if any of the workplace stuff would apply for me but interesting to know. The coaching sounds like a good idea as well!

Im an only unfortunately. Well, I have a half siblings but a lot older so we didn't grow up together or ever live together.. thank you for the advice, that is helpful to know 😊

I was diagnosed in my 40's. It was no surprise to me but the autism diagnosis actually was and I struggled with that part of my diagnosis for a while although I now embrace it. I also have ocd and free flowing anxiety. I have taken a few years to come to terms with it all but it does explain a lot about myself to myself and helps me realise a lot of things, it also has allowed my child to be more open about himself with me and he is waiting on an assessment now. We/i know he is definitely autistic but it will be interesting to see if he has adhd also as he is quite different in some ways to me adhd wise.

I am not in the UK so having a diagnosis does not give me any rights to benefits or whatever but I am luckily in a job where I earn too much anyway to claim anything but I have read threads where people try to get a diagnosis of things for benefits reasons which is the reason I say this. I am on concerta and it has been life changing for me the past few years. I have quite literally 99% of the adhd tick lists out there. I think the only one I don't have is the being messy one but that could be due to my diagnosed ocd also. I do absolutely hate people who say shite like 'oh we all have that or can be like that' etc because yes we can but I can also be a condecending twat like they come across saying that but choose not to. I do not know life any different than being ND so I sometimes look at threads on it on here and get confused but I am an intelligent, articulate human with a condition and honestly I like my mind. I like that in a room of people I can point out a thing so obvious to me and others go 'oh wow I did not see it that way'. I love my pattern recognition, the sense that someone is a twat from the first time they speak to me, the fact yes I have a few eccentricities but I am never boring! I would love to say I am the life and soul of the party but I don't go to them because bright lights kill me, loud sounds make me irritated beyond belief and honestly other people... nah.

Sorry that was longer than I expected OP but delighted you got your diagnosis. It really is life changing. NOW you get to start loving yourself as you now know your full self and can unmask. I wish you all the best and fyi the meds do help if you can allow yourself to take them.

I was diagnosed in 2021. Not medicated.
Also think I’m autistic, but not assessed.
It threw me into a depression, all the missed opportunities, wasted chances and terrible decisions.
Still struggling.
Have you experienced that ?

Hi fellow adhd’er! I really struggle with the “well everyone is a little adhd” type comments which happen a LOT to me. Newly diagnosed. How do you respond to Those comments?