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AMA
Original poster

I work in a special school. AMA

30 replies

Jammiedogers · 02/05/2024 07:23

Hi,

I've just read a couple of school/teacher based threads. One person mentioned mental health of students.

So here we go. I work in an SEMH (social, emotional, mental health) specialist provision.

Obviously being careful of confidentiality, AMA.

OP posts:
FiveStoryFire · 04/05/2024 08:56

Jammiedogers · 04/05/2024 08:49

My personal opinion is that a school like mine would be amazing for your son. We put so much support in place. But I also know that not all places are like ours. Where are you based?

Thanks for your reply. We are in Warwickshire. Where are you? And what should I be looking for in terms of support for my son? Many thanks.

FiveStoryFire · 04/05/2024 09:02

Also, does your school require an EHCP to attend?

Original poster
Jammiedogers · 04/05/2024 09:53

Yes my school requires an ehcp. We only really take the kids who have the highest level of need. Eg suicidal, self harm, etc etc.

Consider what his needs are and his behaviours and his intellectual ability and work from there is my suggestion. Facebook groups are invaluable for recommendations

OP posts:
Alltheyearround · 15/06/2024 19:27

lovelysoap · 03/05/2024 12:57

Thanks so much for posting OP. My daughter has just got an EHCP with SEMH need and special school need. There is only one SEMH school near us for her to attend. We have visited and it seems amazing. Its private and has good reviews.

My DD is 11 and i worry that she will be one of a few girls with loads of older boys. I worry she will be safe and happy and have a peer group. Me and my DH are also gutted as we have tried so hard to get her integrated into mainstream school. We adopted her at 4 and we are so gutted that it has come to this and blame ourselves for her continued violence and behaviours with other children. We feel we have tried everything and this feels like a failure. We are worried about her now having the stigma of attending a special school. We have thought about home school and she has interim EOTAS but the subjects are limited with one tutor at the kitchen table essentially and she is not safe to attend groups with other kids. I also struggle with her behaviour, defiance and managing her behaviour around her younger sister. Last year it got so bad before we removed her from school. I feel we came close to adoption breakdown.

Me and DH both had/have professional careers and are i suppose high achievers. I went to a private school. She has been through 4 different primary schools. She isn't safe around other kids, she is about 2 years behind. She has thrown things at teachers and stolen from staff and pupils. Classrooms evacuated, children hurt, suspensions, restraint by teachers. We thought with adjustments time and therapy these behaviours would ease to the extent she could be educated in mainstream with adjustments and an EHCP but after 7 years we still seem to be at square one which we are both gutted about.

We are worn out and if i put me and my other daughter first to be honest it would be nice to have some daily respite from my older daughter as she needs so much care and supervision. She is medicated and has a very low demand life at home but can still be so rude and difficult and rejecting. Her self esteem is on the floor.

I also feel like a failure because she has been in a safe stable home for years and has been adopted. lots of the kids in the school are in foster care with more complicated lives. I think she will be unusual as a young girl who despite so much help for years is still so violent she need a special school. This frustrates me so much. Why cant she get better?

I suppose i am asking if in your experience as a professional, you think special school can manage her and help her?

Early trauma is often very difficult to mitigate against even with therapeutic parenting skills. 4 is quite old to mitigate against damage that may have begun even before she was born (obviously I don't know your DD but it may be the case). It sounds like you have worked hard to parent her in a loving and supportive way. I am friends with an adoptive mum, she adopted a lad who was very mentally and physically abused and even though she gave it 100% and is an exceptional parent and grandparent, things didn't go well. She ended up fostering his daughter until she was adopted. Fortunately she was taken into care as a baby (damage limitation really) and is now very settled and stable within an adoptive family.

What I am saying is please, please don't blame yourselves in any way. You stepped up. You are keeping her safe, warm and fed. You are her advocate and always have her best interests at heart. That is amazing. Many children don't have these things in their lives, sadly. I have such a lot of respect for foster and adoptive families. You deserve medals for your hard work and patience.

Regalhen · 15/06/2024 19:57

Thanks so much for doing this AMA. My son attended a SEMH school and it honestly transformed his life. He went from being a child who was being physically restrained by up to 3 adults pretty much every day in mainstream, to one that never showed aggression in school again; and pretty much at home too. It was honestly awful before he accessed special school

He hadn't accessed the curriculum for around 2 - 3 years but is now back in mainstream secondary and is in target to get average to good GCSE's. There are only a handful of SEMH schools in the country, but the difference they make is incredible

My son has a diagnosis of autism (pdas features) and we are still waiting for confirmation of adhd. Life will always be hard for my son, but he has a reasonable chance now of being able to integrate into society, perhaps holding a job, and hopefully not ending up in the criminal justice system

Thank you and other workers in these schools who see these children as individuals. My son's school also used PACE and set up a supportive parents group to teach this too

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