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AMA
Original poster

Life Coach

134 replies

Lotsofdifferentthings · 18/12/2023 20:47

I help people solve issues in their relationships, with parenting, anxiety, stress and more

Biggest thing people come to me for is to get over trauma. My technique doesn't require you to relive the past or talk about the details of what happened in order to get over it.

Go for it. I'll try and answer as much as I can.

OP posts:
WhichOneGoes · 18/12/2023 23:03

Which course did you do?

Desecratedcoconut · 18/12/2023 23:05

Do you make more money selling life coaching, or charging other people to train as life coaches?

MuckyPlucky · 18/12/2023 23:05

OP are you reflecting on the overwhelming majority of the responses you’ve had here, and contemplating the ethics, safety and wisdom of your ‘career’ choice, given a fleet of actual trained professionals have expressed grave misgivings?

Are you able to see you may be a teensy bit under qualified and out of your depth, and charging people for next to nothing?

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 18/12/2023 23:07

Martinii · 18/12/2023 22:57

It's not clear what kind of trauma the op is referring to? Sexual abuse/childhood abuse etc... probably best she leaves well alone. But there is a place for this kind of thing such as having someone to check in with whilst you sort your life out: getting out of a rut/going for that new job/taking on that qualification/saving money/general advice like that. Just someone to give you a hand hold to get out of bad habits or be brave about actually going for stuff you keep putting off so end up in a cycle. That's what I thought life couches did anyway.

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getting out of a rut/going for that new job/taking on that qualification/saving money/general advice like that.

None of these would be described as trauma. If people want to pay the OP to help them with this, fine. This is just advice I would get from family or friends.

MuckyPlucky · 18/12/2023 23:07

Do you have professional indemnity insurance for when one of your clients (customers) brings a case against you or another one kills themself and their family sues you?

Original poster
Lotsofdifferentthings · 18/12/2023 23:08

Gnomegnomegnome · 18/12/2023 21:56

How do you help people with their trauma?
How long do you work with people for?

It's difficult to explain a technique on here, that takes 6months to a year to fully grasp. It's about focusing on where you are now and how to get to where you want to be. With trauma, the problem mostly is that people are dealing with problems of their past, while feeling them as if they are still happening. Bringing them out of that is a process. Once they learn it, they're full speed ahead. Like putting on glasses and finally being able to see clearly.

OP posts:
MuckyPlucky · 18/12/2023 23:08

Do all of your friends at dinner parties think you’re really enlightened and deep and clever nowadays?

MuckyPlucky · 18/12/2023 23:10

Lotsofdifferentthings · 18/12/2023 23:08

It's difficult to explain a technique on here, that takes 6months to a year to fully grasp. It's about focusing on where you are now and how to get to where you want to be. With trauma, the problem mostly is that people are dealing with problems of their past, while feeling them as if they are still happening. Bringing them out of that is a process. Once they learn it, they're full speed ahead. Like putting on glasses and finally being able to see clearly.

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Absolute 100% bullshit.

(Trauma-focussed MH Practitioner here. But I’ve only got 2 MSc’s in it, so what do I know? 🤷🏼‍♀️)

Martinii · 18/12/2023 23:10

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 18/12/2023 23:07

getting out of a rut/going for that new job/taking on that qualification/saving money/general advice like that.

None of these would be described as trauma. If people want to pay the OP to help them with this, fine. This is just advice I would get from family or friends.

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That's what I thought life coaches did, kind of like an impartial cheerleading helping you along whilst you sort your life out. I wasn't aware they went into big trauma therapy etc to be honest.

MuckyPlucky · 18/12/2023 23:11

Martinii · 18/12/2023 23:10

That's what I thought life coaches did, kind of like an impartial cheerleading helping you along whilst you sort your life out. I wasn't aware they went into big trauma therapy etc to be honest.

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They don’t (or rather they shouldn’t). OP is massively over-reaching outside the scope of her ‘practice’ - that’s why everyone is up in arms…. It’s at best disingenuous, at worst unethical & dangerous.

Zone2NorthLondon · 18/12/2023 23:14

Martinii · 18/12/2023 22:44

I don't think seeing people with all the traditional qualifications etc can be any better in some cases, to be honest. I've had two rounds of CBT over the years and counselling twice, and although it was good to talk to someone, I wouldn't say it helped much with trauma. I'm not saying it doesn't help people, of course it does, but just having qualifications and being regulated doesn't guarantee anymore than the OP does that you'll be effective in helping people.

Some people have natural intuition with people. If you don't have that in addition to being qualified, then someone can come across as a bit textbook from my experience.

CBT is an approach that works for many individuals experiencing anxiety and/or depression. However it is not indicated for trauma, for trauma you need complex needs trauma approach such as Trauma-focused cognitive behavioural therapy (TF-CBT)
For Post traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms Eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR) has efficacy and a research base

i agree text book learning needs to be combined with personal qualities such as genuineness and warmth.

i disagree that some folk have natural intuition. That’s not enough. You need the natural approach with the textbook study and regulation

Original poster
Lotsofdifferentthings · 18/12/2023 23:14

Netaporter · 18/12/2023 21:57

I don’t think this is going the way the OP thought it would…

It's AMA. I have my hard hat on!

OP posts:
Jacfrost · 18/12/2023 23:15

How convenient that it's difficult to explain your technique

Martinii · 18/12/2023 23:16

Lotsofdifferentthings · 18/12/2023 23:08

It's difficult to explain a technique on here, that takes 6months to a year to fully grasp. It's about focusing on where you are now and how to get to where you want to be. With trauma, the problem mostly is that people are dealing with problems of their past, while feeling them as if they are still happening. Bringing them out of that is a process. Once they learn it, they're full speed ahead. Like putting on glasses and finally being able to see clearly.

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As a complete novis but someone who has past trauma, this doesn't make sense to me. I don't feel them as if they are still happening, most days I don't think of it at all. It feels more like a deeply embedded (and probably unconscious) behaviour pattern.

MuckyPlucky · 18/12/2023 23:17

OP do you plan to continue with your dangerous, unethical, under-qualified and non evidence-based dreamt-up profession, working ‘mainly with trauma’ despite no trauma therapy qualifications or experience?

Do you genuinely think you work ‘with trauma’ using a ‘complicated to explain technique’ involving ‘bringing someone into the present and then off they go’ ?

Do you plan to continue with no real risk management or safeguarding practices?

Can you legally & financially risk someone bringing a case against you or a trip to the coroners court?

Can you in all good faith say your unqualified musings are worth circa £60/hr?

Are you actually for real?

Zone2NorthLondon · 18/12/2023 23:17

Lotsofdifferentthings · 18/12/2023 23:08

It's difficult to explain a technique on here, that takes 6months to a year to fully grasp. It's about focusing on where you are now and how to get to where you want to be. With trauma, the problem mostly is that people are dealing with problems of their past, while feeling them as if they are still happening. Bringing them out of that is a process. Once they learn it, they're full speed ahead. Like putting on glasses and finally being able to see clearly.

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A robust evidence based technique isn’t hard to describe, try…we will all be attentive
I want you to elaborate upon your statement It's about focusing on where you are now and how to get to where you want to be. With trauma, the problem mostly is that people are dealing with problems of their past, while feeling them as if they are still happening. Bringing them out of that is a process
You see I don’t recognise that approach and don’t know your methodology

Martinii · 18/12/2023 23:18

Zone2NorthLondon · 18/12/2023 23:14

CBT is an approach that works for many individuals experiencing anxiety and/or depression. However it is not indicated for trauma, for trauma you need complex needs trauma approach such as Trauma-focused cognitive behavioural therapy (TF-CBT)
For Post traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms Eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR) has efficacy and a research base

i agree text book learning needs to be combined with personal qualities such as genuineness and warmth.

i disagree that some folk have natural intuition. That’s not enough. You need the natural approach with the textbook study and regulation

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I like the sound of the EMDR

Original poster
Lotsofdifferentthings · 18/12/2023 23:19

MuckyPlucky · 18/12/2023 22:00

What are you thinking of when you describe “trauma”? Can you give us some examples of this trauma work you do? Or are you meaning ‘generic difficulties and indecision’? Do you regularly work with actual trauma?

Sure. Childhood trauma, domestic violence, financial abuse, verbal abuse in relationships.

OP posts:
MuckyPlucky · 18/12/2023 23:20

Lotsofdifferentthings · 18/12/2023 23:19

Sure. Childhood trauma, domestic violence, financial abuse, verbal abuse in relationships.

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Oh Holy Moley. You must be kidding?!

WhichOneGoes · 18/12/2023 23:21

@Zone2NorthLondon
You’ve done an online course and have no supervision,you’re unregulated unregistered. Yet you provide trauma techniques. I have to say I would have significant misgivings about your abilities and accountability. I would advise anyone seeking therapy to seek* a psychiatrist (medical trained doctor with additional years of PG training)*
an HCPC regulated and registered healthcare professional with additional training eg Nurse, Psychologist, OT
BACP therapist

One of my kids is a psychiatrist, 5 years med school, 1 year psychology masters, 2 years junior doctor and years (5 or 6?) of core training involving exams with shockingly low pass rates and yet I've a horrible feeling that the OPs hourly rate might be higher than his 🫤

Original poster
Lotsofdifferentthings · 18/12/2023 23:21

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 18/12/2023 22:08

It’s AMA so…

Are you going to come back and actually answer or was this not how you thought this would go?

Sorry I realise I'm going slowly. I wasn't expecting this many questions. Trying to get through them all. Please bear with me.

OP posts:
GlitchStitch · 18/12/2023 23:21

Hi OP. Can I ask what assessment/ process you have in place to ensure that someone is stable enough before they start working on their trauma?

Martinii · 18/12/2023 23:22

Zone2NorthLondon · 18/12/2023 23:21

lots of useful info online https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/treatment/
Your GP can refer you to the appropriate community mental health team

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Thanks

MuckyPlucky · 18/12/2023 23:22

Lotsofdifferentthings · 18/12/2023 23:19

Sure. Childhood trauma, domestic violence, financial abuse, verbal abuse in relationships.

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@Zone2NorthLondon …..can you actually believe this is the trauma work this individual is doing? I feel like we need to somehow report this practice (as part of our own professional standards) but I’ve no idea how, given the convenient anonymity of this.