I work for the Samaritans AMA

[annonymousandlikeit]

Obviously, I can't talk about our callers and contacts, but anything you want to know about how we work or what samaritans do, I do phones, schools, prisons, foodbanks, outreach, festivals, public order, etc

How do I support a friend who is suicidal? I have offered that they can 'phone me at any time of day or night, I have promised I will pick up and listen. But I'm afraid I don't know what to say, or I'll say something that makes it worse. And I feel so helpless....listening is all very well but I can't mend their marriage or bring back a dead relative or find them the money to pay their mortgage (made up problems so as not to identify my friend) so they are still in the same hopeless place, even if I do listen.

Do you have any advice? Or do you know if there's something I can read which can help me to help in this situation?

No, not typical at all, I am sorry this happened to you. We run training twice a year, and currently have around 50 potential volunteers waiting for selection and training. They have all been given the dates already.

It could be that your local branch has no current training team? It is a significant commitment, from a large number of trainers, and of course, completely voluntary.

I would suggest contacting head office and explaining, and asking where the nearest branch with a training team is located, and asking if you can train in that branch then volunteer in your local branch.

I am not sure where your friend got the one third figure from, that is not right. Most calls are answered, even though there might be a wait. There might be certain times when it is harder to get through, but most calls are answered

Do you go into a call centre environment? Or from home?

sounds like you are being a wonderful friend and doing everything possible

The link to the Samaritans "what to do if you think someone is struggling" is here, but there are other resources and advice on line too, such a CALM, etc

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/if-youre-worried-about-someone-else/how-support-someone-youre-worried-about/what-do-if-you-think-someone-struggling/

Call centre

What a wonderful thing to do OP. Over the last 40 years has demand on the service increased or stayed fairly regular? Do you have any examples of social problems that have increased the amount of calls you get? (Covid, cost of living, recession or even Christmas, for example)

Sorry, @annonymousandlikeit — I realise it sounded as if I were personally blaming you for (possible) disorganisation at a Samaritans branch! That’s a fair point about lack of training team, and training being done by volunteers, but surely they’d have said there was no local training, if that was the case? I’m in a big city, and wouldn’t in any case be able to travel easily for training elsewhere. I just looked up other branches and they’re all in smaller places. I imagine if training were on offer anywhere in this part of the country, it would be here.

(re stats on answering, we’re not in the UK. I don’t know if that’s an official stat.)

That's really helpful, thank you so much!

Well, thankfully, I am taking far fewer calls from battered women who have no options, and no support from family or friends. I still get a lot of calls from battered women who feel that they have no options, but far fewer than there used to be, and there is a lot more support available

Cosmetic medical procedures are far more readily available now, and there is whole new category of calls of regrets, and things going wrong

There seems to be far more people struggling with mental health problems such as generalised anxiety, and very little medical help available, although numbers with health problems such as schizophrenia remain steady

Homelessness comes up more, although |I think that is probably because homeless people are more likely to have a phone now than a few decades ago

Being gay is now very rarely a thing to ring up and discuss suicide about.

The telephone system has changed though, we used to go through a local system, and now it is national, so issues I was aware of in the past may only have been local, for example you would only get calls from your local prison, now from any prison, and different prisons hold different types of prisoner

And thank you for your kind comment

Yes, that I hadn’t realised until my friend who is a listener said so — that calls are not regional (so you’re only getting calls from your area), but can come from anywhere in the country, so metropolitan volunteer listeners may find themselves listening to suicidally lonely isolated hill farmers etc.

I can absolutely imagine it would change the type of call you might get.

One other question, OP. I gather Samaritans offer face to face listening, too, at branches — though presumably this stopped during Covid. Have you ever done this? Does it need a different skill set? Is there separate training?

Yes, face to face has restarted after covid. It is covered in initial training, but there is further training available. I do quite a lot of it, but it depends on who you are on shift with. There is CCTV ( visual only - no audio recording) and I can only do it if I have a partner prepared to watch the CCTV - this is so they can call the police if I am attacked! Also of course, prevents false allegations - there is no record of what I have said, but there would be a record if I had physically touched someone

Thanks, @annonymousandlikeit — I always think it sounds potentially risky, even with CCTV. My sibling is an addiction counsellor, and wears a panic button linked to security staff on reception, but says that quite a lot can potentially happen before a security guard runs upstairs to her room.

Do you feel drained by your listening to distressed people.

I feel sad for them in the shift. I come off the shift and go back home and feel very very lucky with my happy life

Yes i can imagine really appreciating your life more as a volunteer. Thank you op for doing this.

Thank you for what you do. I have called the Samaritans many times, and in the overwhelming majority of cases, they have been helpful.
Sadly, it has been the bad calls that stuck out. One Samaritan gave me explicit instructions on how to end my life using household items. Another berated me when I just needed an ear, and said the line was for suicidal people only

I stopped being a listening volunteer due to the other volunteers!
there is hardly any support for ‘new’ listeners and when you have issues with other listeners you get told ‘that’s what they are like’
i joined because I want to be there for the callers not to hear lots of bitching about callers from other listeners.

on going training is available but not mandatory and lots don’t use it.

I complained to shift support and branch director about three listeners eating sandwiches whilst on calls, giving advice and/or being rude to callers.
nothing is ever done and an unbearable atmosphere is left in branch.
samaritans needs a major overhaul of its training.

I miss the callers

Do check that emails from Samaritans 're recruitment etc haven't gone into your spam folder, because it does happen quite often.
The entire system is online, so you can go back and apply via the Samaritans website, specifying your local branch.