I also work in government affairs. And I also find it hard to explain what exactly I do. I really dislike describing myself as a lobbyist - because I grew up with the same associations as many PPs have about what lobbyism implies, and these associations are very remote from what I do.
After reading the exchanges on this thread I tried to think of other professions which are totally misunderstood and are either vilified (eg journalists) or glamorised (eg detectives or secret service agents).
Professions evolve with the evolution of societies and their cultural norms. Some behaviours acceptable for teachers or managers when I was growing up or started my career would be a sackable offence now. The same applies to government relations. This is not the stereotypical lobbying of yesteryear over a boozy lunch.
There are strict codes of conduct, internal (in companies) and external (at least in some jurisdictions).
I work mostly with the EU institutions and my company is registered in the compulsory Transparency Register. Every year we submit information about the lobbyists representing our interests in Brussels, annual spend (including staff costs, research, consultancy fees, trade associations we are members of, events etc), which policies we engage on, which public grants or contracts we have, etc. Every time I meet with an official above a certain rank it is registered and submitted -by them and us - to the Register. All this information is publicly available and is, of course, an interesting source of insights. Politico does a roundup of the most significant changes in €€ spend by company /sector.
There are incredibly strict compliance processes in my company. I don't do any meals with officials as every such lunch requires complex pre-approvals and cannot be above a certain (modest) amount, and then needs to be entered in the internal gifts and hospitality register. Gifts we give to stakeholders are at the level of a branded moleskin diary or a battery charger. This is fine for me, but for colleagues working in Asia this can be more challenging as there is a cultural expectation of eg giving mooncakes for the Chinese New Year. We can invite an official to our innovation centre but absolutely cannot contribute to their travel costs.
Why do civil servants and elected officials consult with industry, trade unions and civil society? They need to make sure regulations and policies work, they are fair, proportionate, easy to implement and do not cause unintended consequences. For every piece of legislation one of the most complex areas is how it fits with all the other laws. It's astonishing how often new laws duplicate or even contradict existing laws. Eg, the EU is in the process of finalising the first in the world AI rulebook. A lot of the debate has been on the areas where the AI Act overlaps with GDPR or sectoral regulations. Another hugely contentious area is the definition of AI (choosing between several existing international legitimate definitions). Both civil servants and Members of European Parliament recognise that it is impossible for them to foresee how every element of the regulation will impact every sector of economy and actively seek recommendations and case studies from a wide range of stakeholders, including industry.
As OP has mentioned, the work is very cerebral. You will only be listened to if you provide data-based evidence that also allows the government to deliver its priorities.
I have been very fortunate in that I never had to lobby for something that I disagree with.
Chapeau to the OP for starting the thread and responding with such grace! I