I'm a live-in-carer AMA

[24hourday]

I've worked as a live-in-carer for the past fifteen years and have just finished what will probably be my last placement - I've absolutely loved my job but it's becoming too tiring for me now.

In the main I've been employed by one agency but occasionally taken on private clients. My placements have always been short-term, between 2 - 6 weeks, either holiday cover for the main carer or an emergency or respite situation.

I thought anybody considering employing or becoming a live-in-carer might find it useful to AMA.

@CC4712 goodness no! I'm way to squeamish to be a nurse, I have to look away when they take my blood! Also, I'm terrible within organisations and love the autonomy of being a live-in-carer. Although I'm accountable (to my client, their family and the agency) I don't have a day to day boss. These questions have been about what I actively do, but a lot of my job is companionship - we watch television, listen to music, I read books or the newspaper to my client, spend hours looking through photo albums, I sit on the sofa with them and knit, or bake them a cake they'll enjoy etc

Sounds lovely to provide companionship but might drive me bonkers.

Would you consider yourself to be a people person? Do you need to be an extrovert to be a live-in carer?

@sheeplikessleep ❤️ I expect your Gran's carer really loves her job.
@Nobsandnockers most people go through an agency, there are a few well established ones you can find online. Over the years I've had a few private clients, friends of friends, word of mouth, and although this is cheaper for the client I'd generally recommend going through an agency.

@blueshoes it would drive me bonkers to do it long term but I've worked out I can do a top notch job for a few short weeks! I do admire the permanent carers. I'm very much an introvert and find working one-to-one, in what is usually a peaceful environment, suits me well. Plus I get weeks off between jobs to recharge.

Thanks for explaining. Makes sense to pace yourself. I am an introvert too and would need a lot of down time after an assignment to recharge. I even found looking after my own young children hard with all that constant physical interaction.

do you miss your own home ? worry about leaving it empty ?

Thank you for this thread OP. I have a very dear elderly friend who's family want her to have a live in carer, but she is fretting about it. I might send a link to this threat to her. Thank you.

thread, not threat, obvs

I am sure you are not such a person but do you come across people who take jobs as live-in carers in order to prey on vulnerable people? I mean things like stealing their money or get written into their wills.

How can families protect against this? Sorry for the hard hitting question.

What part of the country are you in? My sister was looking into doing something similar and she said the pay was about £600 for half a week. This was through an agency in the Midlands and the family wanted two different carers each to do half a week.

@thenightsky that's great, I'd be delighted to answer any questions your friend has. It is a really big deal allowing someone to live-in with you.
@pavillion1 no, I look forward to going away, especially to new places. Always happy to get home though. I don't worry as I've got good neighbours and because I live in a touristy place sometimes friends stay while I'm away.
@determinedtomakethiswork I'm in the North East but my agency covers the whole of England and Wales. I think around £750pw is an average these days though it varies according to the client's care needs. It's more if you are caring for a couple. Pay is double for bank holidays. You also get holiday pay, travel expenses and a food allowance.

So would you say most of the job is about companionship then?
(From your earlier post)?

Also, do you have to cook meals? Is a lot of your job cooking and cleaning and doing the shopping? Or does that not come into it?

@blueshoes these people will exist but I don't know if I've come across them. I've not heard any rumours within the agency I work for but it is a solitary job so I don't really have colleagues or hear much about anything that goes on. I occasionally get an in placement visit from a supervisor and when I go to a new holiday cover placement I get a 24 hours handover if the client has high needs. All except one of the carers I've met have seemed at the very least competent and usually really good.

I think the best protection is to go through an agency and for the family to visit regularly. I'm not 100% sure of the law here but I think families can install cameras. I have no idea if I was ever on camera but always work as if everything I am doing can be seen by someone who loves the client. That doesn't mean I'm perfect - I assume the family will understand if I occasionally hide in the kitchen with a cup of tea and a packet of biscuits because I can't cope with another episode of my clients favourite TV show 🫣 Or sit in the garden to cool down because the house is uncomfortably hot for me. Etc!

@purpleme12 No, I'd say the job is entirely about care and for many clients companionship is part of that. Each home and every client are different. What one client appreciates, another will find extremely irritating.

Yes, the agency check that you can cook to a reasonable standard and one full day on the training week is cooking/nutrition. I was looking forward to cooking but actually did less than I'd hoped because most clients families stocked up on M&S ready meals. But I got to bake and make nice puddings sometimes. No cleaning other than day to day tidying, vacuuming, laundry (sometimes) etc

What is your bedroom like? As in do you get time/space to yourself? Or are you expected to be "available" 24/7 while you're there?
My brother in law is currently working as a mobile carer and his pay is shocking for what he does. I'm just wondering if he'd be better doing a job like yours? Is it suited to a person with a family? He has a wife and children so would obviously want to see his kids etc.

@Yerroblemom1923 When you're on a live-in placement you completely suspend the rest of your life! I only have online contact with family and friends when I'm on a placement. My agency says we are meant to have two hours off every afternoon but that doesn't always work out. I'm pretty strict about taking those two hours because I like to go for a walk (or a nap these days!) but I'm sometimes have to be flexible. So you are present and available 22 hours every day you're employed. If a client starts to wake more than twice a night we are told to contact the agency and they'll contact the family to arrange a night carer - but this can take a few days to put in place.

Bedrooms vary from a luxurious en suite to a very small guest room but they've always been okay. They can usually be locked from inside too.

I've sent you a pm

How much would you charge for a private arrangement? A school mum I know does this 3 nights every 10 days under the table and seems to do well. Her patient? became paralysed from the neck downwards in his 20s due to an accident and she does this to give his wife respite. He apparently insists that she wears particular clothes, eg she arrives in a red dress and wears a long black dress the following day etc. Would that sort of thing be tolerated by an agency?

@feralunderclass hell no, I would not accept that and neither would my agency! During our training we're told to wear clean and comfortable clothes, not exactly 'modest' dressing but no cleavage on show or very short skirts.

I haven't taken on a private client for a couple of years, my last one was the 88 year old mother of an acquaintance who had broken her arm. Client had minimal care needs but couldn't cook and needed help bathing and dressing. She was also feeling low so part of my job was to help her feel capable of continuing with her previously full life. I stayed two weeks and charged £500pw. Not cash in hand! Before that I did a week respite care for a woman with end stage dementia so her family could go on holiday. My client was extremely distressed and scared and needed constant care. She woke a few times every night too. I charged £750 for the week.