I home educate my 3 children

[LilyTuesday]

As the subject title says! I have found myself answering lots of questions over the years, once people find out we home Ed our children… but they are probably being polite and not saying how they really feel about the idea of choosing to never send a child to school…. So AMA if you’ve ever been curious!

So your eldest might end up with 5 GCSEs with two at a grade 5. Why did you put them through those exams so early rather than waiting to give them time to mature and potentially do better?
I think you are significantly restricting the life chances of your children OP to be honest. And yes, universities do care about when exams are taken as taking 8/9 GCSEs at the same time is considerably more demanding than spreading them out over several years.

@ChildminderMum children in school are subject to safeguarding checks whilst in school by dint of being under the care of TAs and teachers with safeguarding training. Schools also have a dedicated safeguarding team that staff report any concerns to. Home educated children aren't seen 5 days a week for most of the year by professionals with safeguarding training.

Like I said, my degree taught me how to manage the learning of 30 children, not how to teach.

I agree that your degree was poor then. My degree plus 23 years of experience has taught me how to do it. I'm pretty confident that I do this better than your average parent with no qualifications or experience would.

I’m sure there are children who went to school and only achieved four GCSEs though? Four GCSEs shouldn’t stop someone leaving home either, there are jobs, apprenticeships and college courses that require maths and English GCSEs only.

There aren't routine safeguarding checks for home ed families any more than there are for schooling families.

But there are safeguarding checks at school. If a child is undernourished, neglected or abused that may well be noticed by staff at school who can escalate their concerns. I think that's the point being raised - that without safeguarding checks, it's easier for abuse to go undetected for home educated children than for those registered with a school.

Children under 5 aren't seen 5 days a week by professionals with safeguarding training either.

It being possibly more difficult to get on to certain highly competitive university courses is hardly 'significantly restricting life chances'.

If this was aimed at me, I was genuinely asking if there was any guilt and trying to steer away from them assuming I was assuming the answer to be qualifications and socialising. Clearly those who home school believe they are doing the right thing by their kids, but there could still be odd / interesting areas of guilt that are not commonly known. And that's what I was trying to get at.

I actually don't doubt the standards of qualifications or socialising of most home ed kids.

It being possibly more difficult to get on to certain highly competitive university courses is hardly 'significantly restricting life chances'

5 GCSEs is not many and will be significantly fewer than the majority of school leavers. And it's not just the "highly competitive" universities that would be concerned about a student who only did 3 GCSEs in year 11.

My degree wasn’t poor, top uni. What specifically do you think makes you a better teacher thank someone who learns from the course material (alongside past papers, bitesize, YouTube etc), genuinely interested, not being funny. Everything they need for the exam is there in black and white.
I mean, when it comes to teaching a class of 30 I’ve no doubt you’d be better than an average parent because you’d have learnt and developed methods of delivering classes to a range of abilities but for one to one, as it is in home ed, how would you be better? How have all these home ed teens we know achieved top grades without any input from someone with a teaching degree? Furthermore, like I said, there are many successful teachers, professors and lecturers at schools and universities without teaching degrees. How did they learn to teach?

If your family were/are a single parent family, would you be able to finance home-ed?

Would you also be able to spend the time with your children the way you do as well as have a career or is it an either or choice: you either home-ed full time with a small wage/no money coming in from you with a partner that can finance the lifestyle choices of home-ed or you want until your children are older to have a career?

Children under 5 aren't seen 5 days a week by professionals with safeguarding training either

No but they have Health Visitors and will often have nursery staff checking out for them. Those under 5s who we read about in the news following terrible events are often those whose parents opted out of these services.

Full of typos, should’ve proof read 🤦🏻‍♀️ - especially when saying how great my degree was 😂

@HospitalHelp I take it you haven't heard the phrase magic 5? 5 GCSEs are required as the bare minimum for children to access A levels and other post 16 courses. The bare minimum, obviously 5 GCSEs isn't great. With SEN not being a factor, a school would look at a pupil with 4 GCSEs as having been failed by their teachers.
I very much doubt that my Dsis would've only got 4 GCSEs if she'd attended school or been home educated by someone like OP.

Almost 50% of schooled children leave school without a decent English or Maths GSCE. Maybe we should focus on improving the standard of schools so that more children can access the curriculum before we start bashing parents who have opted to let their children pass GCSEs over a number of years.

@HospitalHelp I proofread for my day job in publishing, not for speedy posts on mumsnet in the evening.

Slightly off topic, but where in Essex do you get swimming lessons for £2.50 and horse riding for 3 kids for £15?
That's so much cheaper than what I would expect.

What specifically do you think makes you a better teacher thank someone who learns from the course material (alongside past papers, bitesize, YouTube etc)

Are you seriously asking me what makes me a better teacher than someone who has literally learned the course content just prior to teaching it using resources built for students?

Yes of course a minimum of five is ideal but for children who can’t or don’t achieve these there are, for example, BTEC qualifications they can take. Your sister would be allowed on a level 2 if she had maths and English or would need to start at level 1 if she had neither. There are other routes too. I’m sorry your parents didn’t ensure she sat more GCSEs, it sounds like a really sad situation. But if she wants a career/to move out etc. there are still ways she can achieve this. Could she sit some more GCSEs as an adult?

I am genuinely baffled how people can afford it tbh. If I quit my job (I couldn't really go part time, compressed only due to being in a senior role), we could theoretically live off DH's salary but it would be extremely tight. In fact, probably too tight and unsustainable as I'm the main earner. One DC here. Sorry if it's too intrusive to ask, but what kind of money do you need to live and home school three children?

You also say your DH is home by 5 from which I assume he isn't working particularly long hours?

How do you manage to fit in working part time, do you work weekends or nights? Aren't you completely exhausted?

Is your career not something you focus on, is HE not detrimental to your prospects? What happens when your children grow up and leave, will you still work part time?

Do you think your children are not missing out on a social aspect of not being in the same age group of children and not building up long-lasting friendships through school?

You say you used a professor, who was that person, did you effectively pay for tutoring instead of teaching them yourself?

Finally (sorry, so many questions, but HE fascinates me!), how do you make sure they are adequately educated and prepared for their exams and to succeed in further education without any external review? You have no benchmark of the quality of their education, how do you know you are doing a good enough job to allow them to progress academically in the future?

TIA. Sorry again to be so blunt but I'm really interested and have no one to ask IRL! 🌸 xx

I was talking about my own post, not yours.

@HospitalHelp I'm so sorry! People can get really snipey on here about grammar!
Yes, my Dsis could sit some GCSEs as an adult. But my point is she's at a massive disadvantage because of the way she was home educated. Also, sadly, she's far from an anomaly amongst home educated children.
There are those that home educated really well and set their children up for successful, fulfilling and independent lives. But there are plenty that don't and many home educated children are just denied their right under the united nations convention of human rights to an education whilst a child.

Do you actually know that universities would have a problem with a home educated student having 5 GCSES or taking GCSES at different ages to school educated children, or is this just an assumption?

I went to a normal state school, and all students started staggering GCSEs from year 9 onwards, so I don't think it's that unusual.

I ended up at a top uni, and I don't think they particularly cared which years I took my GCSEs 

The timing of taking a GCSE is such a weird thing to focus on as 'restricting life chances'.
I've known young people go to university with no GCSES.
I've known young people go to university with a BTEC instead of A Levels.
Get this - most people don't even go to university! And still manage to live their lives!