As the title states: I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 43. Whenever I tell anyone, especially other women around my age, I am bombarded with questions so I thought it might be a useful topic for an AMA thread.
A little background: my son was diagnosed at age 6, and it was a bit of a surprise. His teachers identified that he 'learned differently' and asked me to take him to a paediatrician to explore this. I was not expecting a diagnosis of ADHD, as he didn't seem to fit what I understood ADHD to look like. My brother was diagnosed with ADHD as a child in the 1990s, and he was a textbook hyperactive kid, colouring my understanding of what ADHD is. My son is quiet and certainly not physically hyperactive, so ADHD had not been on my radar. I was a little embarrassed, as I am a medical professional myself (although no longer in clinical practice) and had not seen this in my own child. I then began to learn as much as I could to support him and make learning easier for him.
Over the years, and as my son matured, I began to see similarities between his and my behaviour and coping strategies. A few times I found myself joking 'oh gosh, I must have ADHD!' One of my girlfriends was diagnosed at age 48, and talking to her made a few more little lightbulbs flicker in my brain. Not long after our chat I had a conversation with my boss who told me he felt I was disorganised, left everything to the last minute, wasn't good at replying to emails in a timely manner, lost track of work threads, and relied on my colleagues to save my bacon at the last minute (there was plenty of wonderful feedback too! Generally I do very well at work, and hold a senior executive position). Much of this echoed my friend's experiences, and reflected the reasons she had sought diagnosis. This was the point where I started to seriously consider that maybe I did have ADHD, and I decided to explore assessment.
I asked my GP to refer me to a psychiatrist who was well regarded for addressing symptoms of ADHD in professional women. He had a waitlist of about eight months. While I was waiting for my appointment I read more and more about ADHD in women and realised it was highly likely I did indeed fulfil the diagnostic criteria. Even so, it was a huge relief when he gave me a clear and certain diagnosis. I am now taking methlyphenidate (Ritalin) and finding it supremely helpful, but do feel that the biggest help has been accepting the diagnosis and understanding why I have struggled with certain things my entire life.
ADHD in women doesn't necessarily look anything like the stereotypical societal understanding. If I can answer any questions I am happy to do so.