I am a teacher at a boarding school AMA

[OhBeAFineGuyKissMe]

I work in an 11-18 co-ed boarding school. I teach a science subject to years 9 and up.

I know lots of people have lots of questions about boarding schools and it is exeat weekend so I thought I would do an ask me anything.

I went to a day independent but have friends who boarded and knew what to expect. Some staff went to boarding school, some like me day independents and some state.

Hours can vary. Tutor time starts at 8:30, lessons finish at 3:45, but an hour for lunch. Then there are 2 hours of activities/sports then tea. Then evening duty if on site (once a week). No lessons on Wednesday afternoon. Sessions on Saturday morning and sports Saturday afternoon. There is often an evening thing on, speaker, parent’s evening that sort of thing. I do three after lessons sessions and Saturday mornings but not sport.

They often do, boarding is really fun and they really do love it.

Pastashapes123 our DS is exactly as you describe and he suited boarding so well and it really helped him blossom. He has now moved to a grammar school and DH is so worried at the difference as he was just so busy and happy before doing endless extra curricular etc and longer days . He can’t entertain himself at home and I think you are sensible to consider it as for us i was surprised how brilliant it was for him. He misses it and so may even go back

@OhBeAFineGuyKissMe do you not worry that the kids are growing up in a bubble surrounded by wealth and privilege? Not seeing the real world and working things out based on a tiny subsection of society?

What happens at bedtime? Is there anyone there to make sure they wash and brush their teeth before bed? Is there someone caring that says goodnight and turns out the lights? What happens if they turn the lights back on and mess around at night or sneak into each others rooms? And what happens in the mornings when it's time to get up?

Also what happens when children are ill and just need a hug and someone to care for them? Like being them soup or give them medicine?

Oh, and what about birthdays? Are they made a big deal of with presents the parents send in?

Bed time is announced and all are expected to shower and be in bed at the right times (varies by age group). Teacher on duty wanders around checking all in bed, turning lights out and saying goodnight. From 13+ we expect them to brush teeth without prompting but will have that conversation if needed.

If they get out of bed and get caught they get a rollicking and suitable house punishment, normally involving an early start, so they learn the rules quickly.

If they are I’ll and can’t go home (or from overseas) they go into sick bay rooms and matrons take care of them. If too ill they go home or to their guardians.

For birthdays they normally wait for presents until they are home, but do get sung to.

From your conversations in the staff room do you think that the teachers generally look down on the pupils for being too privileged?

Reason I ask is that I went to a boarding school and got a distinct impression that many of the teachers didn't like us because they perceived us as having so much undeserved luck to be at that school (Not the ones that lived in the boarding houses with us, I felt that they saw us as individuals). It's funny but I never discussed this with other pupils at the time, but years after leaving I've heard several of my old school friends say the same thing.

As one example, on one of my first days at the school we had a speech from a teacher about how lucky and underserving we are to be at a boarding school and how we weren't special, just fortunate and ought to feel guilty for being there. I mean obviously I don't remember it word for word but that was the general gist and I do remember us all after class saying "wow they really don't want us here" I was also told by a different teacher that my school fees were wasted on me, despite me being a straight A student the whole way through. I think I had one homework late or something fairly minor like that. There was a pretty strong undercurrent of "you aren't good enough for us" the whole way through and teachers wanting to bring us down a peg or two for ideological reasons and a perception that we must all be spoilt brats.

Don't get me wrong, private schools are obviously a very unfair system but I'm just curious to know how much teacher to pupil resentment there really is behind closed doors.

As much as the children don’t believe this but very little staffroom conversation is based on them! We might moan about the odd student who is currently being a PITA (they usually grow out of it) but very little about their backgrounds.

Parents who think their child can do no wrong are more likely to raise eyebrows, and money doesn’t come into that.

Money brings material wealth but unhappiness and family issues come in all areas of society, so not all our students are privileged. Plus I don’t know who is absolutely loaded and who is on full bursary.

Which research?

I wish I could say I was surprised.

Thinking back, when I was at boarding school, in the 80s, all teaching and boarding house staff were Mr or Miss so and so. We called the support staff - kitchen staff, gardeners and so on, by their first times. Given that this was an era where most children addressed adults formally, even friends parents, this seems so rude now. I didn’t even question it at the time.

Why would you even talk to the gardeners? Dd1 went to state school and I'm pretty sure she had no idea of the gardeners/dinner ladies names?

DH went to boarding school from 8-18 and had always maintained that there were some brilliant things about it but that there was so much going on the teachers didn't know about and that he could never send his own children.
Hopefully things have changed a lot from that time but I can't say I've ever been tempted to consider it for my sons, despite the up sides it offers too.

i suppose it was different because we lived there all the time and the staff were not transient; we knew them pretty well. We’d going the kitchens to chat to the cook and try to obtain cake and those sorts of things.

Would you ever consider sending your own child to boarding school based on your experience of working in one?