I'm a student midwife - AMA

[greenluna]

I'm also a single mum and ex drug addict. Ask away!

@eveoha

What tosh you spout re ‘c section ladies taken v seriously’ 🤬 my daughter was in LWH for 48 hrs - sweeps and pessaries - no dilation - she was basically ignored until a m’wife felt her abdomen and realised she had no amniotic fluid. Crash team and emergency c section ensued - baby in SCU as he wasn’t aspirated xferred to Alder Hey - she was forced to return to Liverpool Women’s at 1.00 am - 24 hrs after his birth - to sign discharge papers. So please do not assume you are in any way suitably qualified to dispense ‘pearls of wisdom’. You are merely regurgitating nonsense.

no need what do ever!! It’s not OP fault your DD had a terrible experience. Stop making it personal and being aggressive.

@eveoha

What tosh you spout re ‘c section ladies taken v seriously’ 🤬 my daughter was in LWH for 48 hrs - sweeps and pessaries - no dilation - she was basically ignored until a m’wife felt her abdomen and realised she had no amniotic fluid. Crash team and emergency c section ensued - baby in SCU as he wasn’t aspirated xferred to Alder Hey - she was forced to return to Liverpool Women’s at 1.00 am - 24 hrs after his birth - to sign discharge papers. So please do not assume you are in any way suitably qualified to dispense ‘pearls of wisdom’. You are merely regurgitating nonsense.

I nearly died after a 52 hour labour and so did my baby but I am not stupid enough to think it's this student midwfe's fault. Christ almighty.

OP thank you for all you do, you sound wonderful. I was so lucky to have an amazing student midwife at my youngest’s birth. Hope you have a fulfilling career ahead and that these posts are not upsetting you too much.

How do you perceive your regulator?

Op, snap, i'm just coming to the end of my first year! Well done for turning your life around. Being a student midwife is not easy, especially at the moment.

You touched on things that worry you about qualifying. I'm not sure how to word my question, but basically, how do you see yourself actually being a qualified midwife? Do you think you'll be ok?

Personally, I find the idea of being a newly qualified (on DS especially) absolutely terrifying. So much so, I can't even think about it yet.
The band 5's all look like they're about to cry and it doesn't instil much hope.

What's the best and worst baby names you've come across?

I really want to have an hbac next time. I had a c section for unstable lie and was low risk and planning a home birth. Baby was head down and engaged at 40 weeks then moved up. Previous birth before that was fairly straightforward. How do midwives view hbacs if there are no other complications/risks? Would many try for a home birth? Thanks

@eveoha

What tosh you spout re ‘c section ladies taken v seriously’ 🤬 my daughter was in LWH for 48 hrs - sweeps and pessaries - no dilation - she was basically ignored until a m’wife felt her abdomen and realised she had no amniotic fluid. Crash team and emergency c section ensued - baby in SCU as he wasn’t aspirated xferred to Alder Hey - she was forced to return to Liverpool Women’s at 1.00 am - 24 hrs after his birth - to sign discharge papers. So please do not assume you are in any way suitably qualified to dispense ‘pearls of wisdom’. You are merely regurgitating nonsense.

I'm very sorry that happened to your daughter, but I am speaking from my own experience, as I said in the answer.

@Fieldsofstars

‘ As I explained before, these women are completely taken seriously and are given whatever they need to make them as comfortable as we possibly can, whether that be pain relief, aromatherapy or a whole other host of things. ’

I was screaming, it was absolutely uncomfortable. My baby was back to back and I was 7cm when I arrived in pain.
I begged for pain relief and wasn’t given anything at all. I kept being told no.
Why are women constantly let down in this way?

I'm really sorry you went through this, I can only speak from my own experience. I have never seen anything like that myself. Women are absolutely let down, I can't give an answer for why but I believe it's due to a number of reasons, internalised misogyny, dismissive attitudes towards labouring women, desensitisation, lack of empathy. It's terrible and no woman deserves to go through that.

@Talkwhilstyouwalk

Congratulations for turning your life around and what a wonderful and rewarding career you have chosen. My midwives played such a fundamental part in my healthy and happy births!! It must be such a privilege to be actively involved in bringing new life into the world safely. Meeting my daughters for the first time wins the best 2 moments of my life hands down, and I can remember the midwifes involved so clearly!

I'm so glad you had such positive experiences!

@Coolerthanapolarbearstoenails

If a woman had come in with rfm 8 times from 25-38w, but baby and mum found to be in perfect health every time, what would you think?

I would think that the woman knows her body and her baby best and ensure that we carried out checks as thorough as the first time she attended with rfm. It's important to always take reduced movement seriously, regardless of how many times a woman has been in previously.

@Starsolight

Tough career choice. But well done you sound very passionate about it. My question: What do you think about maternal request c sections?

I think they are generally more risky and have a longer recovery time, they also cost the NHS more. However, it is absolutely up to the woman how she chooses to give birth and it's important that I, and my colleagues, support this.

@ButYouJustPointedToAIIOfMe

Women can often lose themselves and need grounding.

This attitude is what caused me to have birth trauma.

What attitude is that?

By this, I mean that so many women I have worked with find that they lose their version of control and need some words of affirmation or encouragement to help bring them back down and regain control.

@pomegranatepillow

One question I would have OP is about birth as an 'achievement'. As you've probably seen on here, woman tend to wish this, or experience this wish from others as a 'normal vaginal delivery' with little to no pain relief.

Do midwives recognise that not all women want this, and support the woman's wishes instead? For example, as someone above said, how are maternal requests of C sections viewed?

In my experience, we support all different views on birth. Women should have be able to choose the type of birth they would like and it's our job to support them with that.

If a maternal request section is what a woman wants, we will make sure that is what she gets so long as she is informed, it's medically safe etc.

We can give evidence-based advice on what is statistically safest, but ultimately it's up to the women. A successful birth means different things to different women and it's important that we as midwives remember that.

@SheepyToaster

What an angry thread, lots of unresolved things here.

OP well done for turning your life around! Is it annoying when you see people who say 'you delivered my baby' when you're out and about?

I haven't delivered that many babies yet! I live around a 30 minute drive away from the hospital so I doubt I'll bump into many patients.

@TableFlowerss

Great thread!

What’s the oldest and youngest mothers you’ve seen give birth?

I have witnessed a 15 year old girl give birth, she did absolutely incredibly. The oldest I have seen was 43, but there's currently a woman under our community care who is 50, expecting her first baby.

@northstars

OP thank you for all you do, you sound wonderful. I was so lucky to have an amazing student midwife at my youngest’s birth. Hope you have a fulfilling career ahead and that these posts are not upsetting you too much.

Oh thank you so much!

@Greybutterfly

How do you perceive your regulator?

I'm still on the fence with this one and haven't formed a solid opinion. I think they have a really rough job and a lot of the time they fail midwives, but then again they do a lot of good for women and the profession itself. I'm sorry I can't give a better answer.

@duckegg1

Op, snap, i'm just coming to the end of my first year! Well done for turning your life around. Being a student midwife is not easy, especially at the moment.

You touched on things that worry you about qualifying. I'm not sure how to word my question, but basically, how do you see yourself actually being a qualified midwife? Do you think you'll be ok?

Personally, I find the idea of being a newly qualified (on DS especially) absolutely terrifying. So much so, I can't even think about it yet.
The band 5's all look like they're about to cry and it doesn't instil much hope.

I feel exactly the same as you, I'm absolutely terrified. It does seem so incredibly stressful, along with everything else that comes with it. I try to push it to the back of my mind!

@MrsMiddleMother

What's the best and worst baby names you've come across?

I haven't actually come across any terrible baby names. I have come across a Binky and an Alaska. There are a lot of names I have come across that I like, although when I was pregnant I'm sure I read every baby name list on the internet so it's not often there's a baby with a name I haven't heard of before

@Iwantanap

I really want to have an hbac next time. I had a c section for unstable lie and was low risk and planning a home birth. Baby was head down and engaged at 40 weeks then moved up. Previous birth before that was fairly straightforward. How do midwives view hbacs if there are no other complications/risks? Would many try for a home birth? Thanks

I'm sorry you didn't get to have your home birth!

I'm not sure how your trust works so I would be able to give specific advice, but in my trust we facilitate home births for any woman that wants one. We can advise against them but ultimately it's the choice of the woman.

There's a high chance you'll be advised to give birth in the hospital but I doubt you'd be strongly advised against a home birth. If you feel like you know all the risks then you do what you want to do! Best of luck.

I have the utmost respect and admiration for yourself and your fellow colleagues. I had three midwives looking after me when I had my DS, but the one who had the biggest impact and who made me feel so at ease was the student. She was amazing.

I very recently had my third miscarriage in a year and required hospitalisation. The midwife who looked after me there was equally amazing in unfortunately much sadder circumstances.

I think you’re all phenomenal. Thank you for all you do.

Please ignore the negative and aggressive posters here; it sounds like it comes from traumatic experiences of their own and is not personal towards you.

Do you have a specific story from your time as a midwife so far - a mum/baby and their story that has really stuck out for you and left an impact on you in some way?

Also - best of luck with the rest of your training and career. x

In your experience, what proportion of women requesting epidurals get them?
If a woman requests an epidural during transition, do midwives bleep the anaesthetist? A friend of mine requested one and was told not possible. She knew this wasn’t true and her birthing partners (one lawyer and one obstetrician!) pushed for it and it happened. She went on to have a normal delivery, manageable tear and pain free stitching afterwards. Without her birth partners standing up for her, she would just have been left to it.
Also - what proportion of midwives that you have worked with have a preference that their patient to not have an epidural (whether they act upon this preference or not)?

@NoraK

Can some of you just take into consideration that this is a student midwife and isn't personally responsible for any of your experiences?

I think it's because OP is writing in a way that comes across as if she's trying to represent all midwives and is making statements about what happens that contradict the experience of lots of women on this thread. It's reminiscent of how women are not listened to or respected in Labour.

What do you think about the care a woman receives once on the post natal ward after birth? Twice I’ve had bad experiences and might as well have discharged myself. It almost seems as though once the baby is out, the woman is not cared about anymore which is sad. I’m a nurse and would never neglect patients like women are neglected after birth. Of course I’m sure plenty of women have lovely experiences but I know an awful lot don’t.