I've been an in-patient in a psychiatric hospital for over 2 years - AMA

[UndertheCedartree]

I've been an in-patient in a psychiatric hospital for over 2 years - AMA

If you are off section and have home leave half the week what is your prognosis for full release? Do the Drs recommendation you remain under such care or are you scared to return home full time?

@Refreshed - in reality noone bothers to shave intimate areas on the ward. They would wait til they got home leave if they wanted to do it.

@FET2020 - I had a mental breakdown. I tried to kill myself twice, had no compliance to medication, slept only 2 hours per night for 3 weeks, I was drinking (out of character for me) dehydrated and under weight and self-harming. The standard DBT programme is 18 months at my hospital so add 3 months assessment most people are here getting on for 2 years (and some much longer). We are here as it is unsafe for us to do therapy in the community as therapy is very triggering so can lead to self harm etc.

@Bluntness100 - I was hoping to be discharged after I had completed DBT. However after assessment it was decided I needed to do some CBT to be safe back in the community (where I will continue therapy). I was gutted to have to stay in longer - really upset for a while. But I have accepted it now and realise it is important to follow the plan as the best way I can be a good mother for my DC.

@Cocolapew - EUPD is Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. (Old name is Borderline PD)It is a serious mental illness - the NHS page is good for explaining what it is. DBT is Dialetical Behaviour Therapy - it is the gold standard treatment for EUPD. It teaches you skills to help with the illness in 4 areas - Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotion Regulation and Inter-personal Effectiveness.

Thank you , I wish you well with your continuing treatment.

@Bluntness100 - it is private but funded by the NHS. I am off section now so voluntary for me (although not really as SS ask that I comply with mental health services). Some of the other women are on section as I was initially.

@LilyJade - to be honest I'm not sure what the tipping point was. I suspect it depends on the individual psychiatrist. Do you have DC? I wasn't functioning atall. Self-harming and attempting suicide - auditory hallucinations and paranoid thoughts, not sleeping, eating or drinking. Couldn't work or look after my DC. I started IAPT therapy and things got worse. I saw Crisis team, then went to an assessment unit before being sectioned.

I'm glad you are doing better but do speak to your psychiatrist about your hallucinations. They are not nice to live with. What medication do you take?

@LizzieVereker - thank you
I had suffered with my mental health since my teenage years and perhaps earlier. I had a difficult and abusive childhood. My DH became unwell when my DC were very young with Schizophrenia - which was a highly difficult time. He is stable now, thank goodness. I was working in a very stressful job and studying. My anxiety became bad and I was drinking a lot. I started therapy and rapidly went downhill.

@Figgygal - the plan is for me to complete 3 months of CBT (just started) and then I will be discharged and continue therapy in the community. So my psychiatrist and psychologist still want me here. I am desperate to get home full time but yes, I am scared too. My discharge will be gradual, though with my leave gradually increasing.

Thank you, @Cocolapew

Good luck op with continuing your recovery

No questions just sending you lots of best wishes for you and your family

@Figgygal @MrsGrindah - thank you so much

What made you start therapy when you were stressed and drinking, I’m just wondering what your rock bottom was.

@LennyPugGoat - my anxiety was affecting my work so I thought therapy would help. But I had to wait 6 months to start so was in a worse place. I remember keep thinking I'd hit rock bottom and then it got worse. Being sectioned was my rockbottom I would say - when I look back now I can see how terribly unwell I was.

How are your children coping and what do they know about what's happened

What does a typical day look like?

@FraglesRock - my DC are doing really well. At the beginning it was obviously really awful for them. Suddenly mum had gone - the first month I only saw them twice for a couple of hours at a time and I was really not with it - not as in anything frightening for them but I was really drowsy, low concentration but I tried to hold my emotions together for them. To be brutally honest I had no interest in seeing them for that first month (I feel terrible saying that) but I saw them for their sake. Now we're in a place where we have a good routine - I get to see them half the week and we talk on the phone in between. I am able to be really involved in their lives again. My youngest is 7 and became quieter and more sensitive at school for a while. The pastoral care has been amazing and she is doing really well now. My eldest is 12 - he has struggled more. He was an annxious child before but that did heighten and he became more withdrawn. However he is doing really well now, too.

My eldest knows a lot about what's happened. Obviously I don't discuss suicide or self-harm with him. But he knows everything got on top of me and I became very unwell. He knows what EUPD is and about the therapy I'm having. I have taught him some skills I've learnt to help him with his anxiety. The youngest understands less - she knows I'm unwell but I'm getting better - she knows I'm in hospital.

Your thread is fascinating to read. Thank you for the insights. Wishing you well for the future x

@oldfashionedtastingtea

8am - breakfast
9am - planning meeting
10am - first groups start
12 - lunch
1pm - afternoon groups start
3pm - gym
5pm - dinner
8pm - last leave

At the planning meeting everyone gets to say how they're feeling and if they need any extra support. We can say things we'd like to do during the support worker-led activities - arts and crafts, play on games console, paint nails etc. Then we do a mindfulness exercise. Everyone has a timetable to show what groups/therapy they have. Occupational Therapy groups are things like budgeting, creative writing, podcast group, relaxation (we have a sensory room for this), smoking cessation, newsletter, paper crafts, cooking. Psychology groups are things like Mindfullness and DBT skills. We do group and/or individual therapy too. There are also classes and computers for individual work to gain qualifications in the 'college'. One evening a week there is 'social club' - there are drinks and we do karaoke, board games, bingo or arts and crafts. One evening a month a few of us get to go bowling. There is also a day trip every month to a gallery, museum, trampolining, a farm etc. There are swimming and sports sessions once a week and the opportunity to volunteer at a community garden. Groups aside from therapy aren't compulsory although the OT/Psychology groups are strongly encouraged. The support worker-led groups are just if you feel like it. Aside from that we hang out together, watch tv or a film, read, do colouring or crosswords, relax in our room, listen to music etc. We often walk to the corner shop together or the local supermarket or shops. Sometimes we might go for a coffee together or for lunch. In the summer we sit in the park or go for walks. Obviously this all depends on what leave you have. Once a week we see the psychiatrist.

That sounds like an amazing set up and I'm glad you're making good progress.
Is it a postcode lottery situation as people round here struggle to get help (people threatening to throw themselves of the top of a car park and being discharged later that day)

It sounds bloody awesome tbh!
Does the thought of returning to “real life” full time worry you?

@Wilmalovescake - thank you so much

@FraglesRock - it is amazing and the staff work so hard for us. There are only 12 beds so it is very hard to get a place. You have to able to demonstrate you can commit to the long-term programme and can comply with the treatment. Obviously it also has to be shown that you would benefit from therapy/treatment as an in-patient and wouldn't be able to do it in the community. It was a process to get here - I started with IAPT, then Crisis team and then went to an Assessment unit. The Assessment unit was truly awful - a callous psychiatrist, staff that didn't do proper observations and treated you like shit. Nothing to do but sit around. I was told there was nothing wrong with me - I was eating fine for example despite losing half a stone in the week I was there - I was given no medication to help me sleep despite having terrible insomnia and told I was making up my psychosis and flash backs. I came out more suicidal than when I went in. I attempted suicide as soon as I was discharged and that was when I was sectioned. I went to an acute ward for 7 months where the staff were lovely and I finally had hope I could get better. After a few months I began home-leave. I had an afternoon at home once a week (my DC visited me once a week at the hospital too) but for some reason after the home-leave (which I enjoyed and went well) my condition would worsen. I would shake uncontrollably, have a high temperature and lose my appetite. I would shut down mentally, hardly be able to speak and my paranoia and auditory hallucinations would increase - it was terrifying. I think it was due to this, aswell as the fact I had my breakdown during therapy in the community, that they started looking for a place for me to do therapy as an in-patient. I complied very well with my treatment plan on the ward too - I was willing to do anything to get better. I think availability of this type of programme in your area must come into it aswell. Most of us are outside of our local trust but within 1.5 hours drive of home.