Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AMA

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

My father was a heroin addict. AMA ** title edited by MNHQ **

36 replies

Doaha · 09/01/2020 22:30

Title says it all really. Doing this partly for myself because I never really get to talk about him, especially not about this, the topic is very taboo in my family. Ask away

OP posts:
EntirelyAnonymised · 21/01/2020 14:53

Smile people are complicated.

Doaha · 21/01/2020 14:55

smile people are complicated
Very complicated

OP posts:
DeanImpala67 · 21/01/2020 15:02

How did he fund his habit? Was there ever crime involved?

Doaha · 21/01/2020 15:11

How did he fund his habit? Was there ever crime involved?
He almost always had a job, apart from in the last few years of his life. As far as I know, he was never involved in crime no. He also never robbed from family or friends, not in a literal sense anyway.. He was the main earner before they split, and a lot of the money did go on drugs, meaning we were extremely poor. My mother once told me that the only reason she was so always so thin was because she rarely had enough money left to feed herself after feeding us. That improved when they split and my mother started working. But not by a huge amount.

OP posts:
Scbchl · 21/01/2020 17:20

What a shame, sounds like he was a lovely caring father to you despite his addictions, very sad ending I'm sorry for the way things turned out.

Doaha · 21/01/2020 20:16

Scbchl
Thank you, he was. Our family was very dysfunctional and it was difficult to grow up with, but I never once doubted that he loved us, and I'm very grateful for that.

OP posts:
Dizzywizz · 26/01/2020 12:39

Was there always enough food for you and your brothers @Doaha? Did you realise your mum didn’t eat much?

Doaha · 26/01/2020 19:04

Dizzywizz
I can never recall going hungry so yeah there must have been. I had an awful appetite as a child anyway, they practically had to beg me to eat some days. We always had shop brand stuff and we weren't allowed treats very often (dad actually used to sneak me out to McDonald's on my own every once in a while when he collected me from school as I got out earlier, probably because he hadn't enough money to bring us all)

No I didnt realise, or atleast if I did I don't remember. When they split she put on a considerable amount of weight, and still eats a lot nowadays, so I do believe it wasn't a choice.

OP posts:
NeverGuessWho · 20/02/2020 02:34

@Doaha
How old was your dad when he died?

You have singlehandedly shifted my long held view that the children of addicts must feel unloved, dejected and neglected.

The fact that your dad’s love for you was so strong, that you were always secure in your knowledge of it, in spite of his addiction, is heartwarming to read.

He sounds like a really lovely dad. I’m so sorry you no longer have him in your life. Flowers

Doaha · 20/02/2020 08:20

How old was your dad when he died?

He was 55. If he hadn't taken his own life I really don't believe he'd have made it past 60, could be wrong though.

You have singlehandedly shifted my long held view that the children of addicts must feel unloved, dejected and neglected.

I mean, I imagine a lot do feel like that. My dh is the child of an addict, and although his father is still alive, he hates him and very rarely speaks to him. My dad was just a good dad, despite his troubles. Dhs wasn't, and never intended to be. I don't believe an addiction has to define anyone unless they allow it to.

The fact that your dad’s love for you was so strong, that you were always secure in your knowledge of it, in spite of his addiction, is heartwarming to read.
He sounds like a really lovely dad. I’m so sorry you no longer have him in your life.

That has me tearing up a bit, thank you for saying that. He was a really good man, he loved people in general so much, he was never cruel, always stood up for people who needed it. Everyone that knew him adored him. A great deal of people who knew him didn't know he was an addict either, not because he wouldn't tell them, but because it just wasn't obvious, until the very end. I'll never forget the amount of people I didn't know who approached me at his funeral and said things like 'he loved you so much' 'he never stopped talking about how proud he was of you' etc. And I believed them, because he told me those things all the time too. He was just a person who got themselves involved in something really, really bad at a young age, but fought so hard to rise above it.

I'm rambling now sorry 😂

OP posts:
NeverGuessWho · 22/02/2020 12:38

Aw you’re not rambling, Doaha - you speak from the heart, and your mutual love for each other shines through in your post.

I know several fathers, (without addiction/dependency issues,) who aren’t a patch on your father. Thank you for sharing. This is one of the saddest, yet most uplifting threads I’ve ever read. 💐

New posts on this thread. Refresh page