I'm a teen mum

[upups]

Just interested to see what people want to know really...

How old are you?

Do you find people judge you when you are out and about?

Sometimes I see a young mum and think 'wow they are young, good luck to them' then I worry that just by looking they might think I am judging.

Do you worry you've missed out on having your own life? You went from childhood to a brief young adulthood to parent?

Was it planned?

How young? I think I was classed as a young mum but I was 22 so I didn't feel you. Lovely when you're 40 and child is 18 :)

Is your partner /baby dad young too ?

Did your family support you with the pregnancy and baby?

@Phycadelicsilhouette I'm 19, was 17 when I got pregnant and 18 when I had my little boy.

Was it a planned pregnancy? Is the father involved?

@scrivette I actually haven't felt a lot of judgement, maybe I just haven't noticed I'm too busy focusing on my little one tbf. I have had a few older women refer to me as his older sister and people do ask if I am his mum with a bit of a face but I just shrug it off. I found it a lot harder being pregnant young than actually having a baby, I think people are harsher when there isn't a cute little baby to look at.

@pinksparkleunicorns I do sometimes feel like I've missed out on my teenage years. Then I hear about people I know overdosing accidentally, or getting injured or sexually assaulted in magaluf and I don't feel so much like I've missed out anymore. While others are getting pissed and having sex with randoms I'm raising a whole human!

@QueenWhatevraWanabi no it was definitely not planned but he was so very much wanted once I knew about him and I would argue he was needed in order to shape me into the person I am to become.

@relax2 he is a year older than me. We have never had a good relationship and it has recently hit rock bottom. He is a lazy father, he pretends to want to be an amazing dad but I'm yet to see the proof. His loss😊

@relax2 forgot to answer your other question. Yes my family have been an amazing support from the start, I can honestly say that I wouldn't be the mother I am today without the support I have had from my family.

Would you want your son to have a baby at 17?

@LoreleiRock honest answer, no. I would prefer he waited until he met the right person and was ready for fully committing himself to a child. If he was to get someone pregnant young though I would fully support him and expect him to step up.

Were you able to carry on with your education? Would you like to go back?

@LoreleiRock I had already finished my school education and was just about to start at a college degree that I knew deep down I didn't really want to do. I think maybe I will go back to college or do an open university course but I'm not really sure yet.

@upups I’m glad you’ve come back to the thread.
I was the same age as you when I had my eldest, 17 when pregnant and he arrived 10 days late, 2 weeks after I turned 18.
He’s now 13 and an amazing young man.

no it was definitely not planned but he was so very much wanted once I knew about him and I would argue he was needed in order to shape me into the person I am to become

I felt exactly the same.

@Phycadelicsilhouette I honestly just totally forgot about it! Aww that's lovely, can I ask have you had any more? And if so how long did you wait between your first and second?

How do you provide for yourself and your DS? What is your housing situation? Do you go to baby groups etc? Just asking because I rarely see teen mums about and they must exist!

@NCBabyBoy I am currently on universal credit and had a lot of savings from before and during my pregnancy so that is what I live off of. I do go to baby groups although I am the youngest by quite a bit at every group I go to. I think young mums just get nervous about being judged by other mums so that's probably why you never see them

Yes I had a second. I was pregnant with him at 20 and had him at 21. (He’s now 10 and they are just short of 3 1/2 years apart in age.)

Genuinely curious, how do you feel about the fact that your life is funded by tax payers?

@JudefromJersey honestly I feel awful about it, I feel so guilty on a daily basis and I 100% want to work in the future in order to pay taxes and make up for it I guess. I'm also super appreciative of my chance to be able to do that. I make sure I spend my money on what is right tho, I don't smoke or drink or buy myself nice new clothes, I spend all of my money, time and energy on my little boy which is a lot better than I know how many other spend their benefit money.

jude don't forget, OP is, like everyone in the country, also a tax payer. Whilst she may be claiming universal credit, she pays VAT, fuel tax (if she drives), tax on the alcohol she buys - she may not currently pay income tax but that is not the only measure of a tax payer. What a goady question. God forbid you end up in an unexpected situation where you have to claim UC and face the thinly veiled criticism of others.

You sound like a very level-headed young lady and I'm sure you're a wonderful mum! As a 47 year old mum of 2 adult children, my only advise is that you do EVERYTHING possible to get an education/qualifications as soon as possible. Lean on every source of support you have to make this possible and don't wait. Even though it will be a challenge, it WILL be short lived. This is literally the best thing you can do for your future and the future of your child. You are clearly very mature for your age and very bright. You can achieve anything you set your mind to!