My DC are home educated and have never been to school- AMA

[1A3S]

I have 3 DC ages 12, 10 and 7, non of them have attended school though my oldest did go to nursery, Instead they're home educated

What do you think the home education communities near you or in the UK in general could improve?

I also home educated from the start and the communities around us have some lovely people, but organizing things is often more like herding cats, there is a tendency for parents to brag about how easily their kids learn and downplay the effort they put in (and almost sneering about anything structured or workbook like) which I think causes more stress than maintaining the ideal HE image of freedom - geniuses is worth and the scaremongering about anything government-related has brought me to wash my hands of certain people more than a few times.

My DCs absolutely loved school most of the time and even now (they're adults) they are in touch with lots of their schoolmates and always will be

Whereas school was horrific for me, the worst years of my life, very stressful and just an awful, awful place to be. I can completely understand why a child would want to be homeschooled.

My very young 6 year old is also struggling academically at school and has massive pressure on him already to be able to achieve so much it's crazy. He has so much homework, so much pressure to be able to perform adequately and us as his parents are also under huge pressure to tutor him every single evening and all through the summer, just to meet the school targets. He loathes school because he says it's boring etc. So on that level I can also understand why a child would be homeschooled.

Do you structure the day like a school day?

How do you cope? If I tried to home educate my children I’d go mad (just trying to help them with their math homework is almost impossible, and I have a masters degree - not in math though but I did well in it). In fact I think I’d have two human sized lumps in the back yard...

Whereas school was horrific for me, the worst years of my life, very stressful and just an awful, awful place to be. I can completely understand why a child would want to be homeschooled

Exactly. And I sympathise and did say we were lucky with schooling. I can quite understand too.

I know a few homeschoolers and they don’t try to replicate school at home at all. They spend a lot of time travelling and learning through experiences. The kids seem to have a lovely life and I envy it in a way. I don’t really understand homeschooling that just creates a mini school at home, essentially doing the same things as at school but with you as the teacher. For me the appeal of home schooling is the freedom to live an alternative life.

How do you protect your kids from other peoples negative views of homeschooling and have you ever had adults speak to your children telling them they should be in school? (I hope not)

We had some run ins before we entered the school system.

Do your children have many friends that aren't home schooled? I don't mean people they see once a week at tennis club but genuine friends that they have built relationships with that go to mainstream schools?

Do you think you can offer as much knowledge to teach as a qualified teacher? I don't mean that question in a mean way, but I' m pretty certain I can't remember how to do an algebra equation or the details of photosynthesis and probably many other things, so just wondering how you manage this.

Do your kids ever feel they are missing out on what is usually quite a fundamental childhood experience?

I’m not OP, and I didn’t home ed from the beginning, but I did home educate one child through GCSEs, and will likely do the same for the next. Ds1 has gone on to further ed, and done very well, including offers to top universities. I know plenty of former home educated young people who have successfully gone on to college / uni / work.

I'm not op but did home Ed one of my daughters, it's so easy for them to make friends within a thriving home Ed community. There's more variety in age and backgrounds than at school. At school the kids tend to stick to their class mates but with home Ed it's a nice mix. They make great friends that they have more time and freedom to see during the week than after school for tea for example. Honestly there are so many options for fulfilling social interaction and bonding when home Ed.

Do you think they will be able to cope with the transition from home schooling to either college or work?

Do you have any formal checks to see if they are learning properly?

I think homeschooling can be a really good or really bad idea depending on how it is handled.

Have your children ever asked to go to school?
Do you worry that they'll blame you for making this choice for them when it's against the norm?

Are they lonely?

What’s your daily routine with HE and how do you manage to teach such a mixture of ages?
Well usually get up, have breakfast and get ready for the day then start on school work. They don't all get up at once though and some things can be done on their own which is useful. Then some days they start the day by going swimming or seeing friends then they start their work later on in the day. It really depends on what's happening that day
Did you give up a career to homeschool your children? What’s your financial situation?
I stopped working once I had my first, I probably would have returned by now had they gone to school
What has been the most difficult thing about home schooling? How much time do you spend prepping? Do all the kids school at once? Is it 5 days a week? Are you involved in group home schooling with other parents/ kids?
I'd say the most difficult thing is it takes a lot of preparation and time to make sure they're getting a good well rounded education. I prep mostly during the summer but I've found now I've been doing it for so long I already know mostly what we need to do and get.
They do 5 days a week usually but they do sometimes miss days because we're out during the day then they catch up later on.
I'm not so much involved in a group now but I have been a few different groups before and met lots of other home ed families through that.
How much free time do you get away from them? Do you get fed up having them around all the time?
I found it harder when they were younger but nowadays they aren't at home or with me all the time, I probably get more time to myself during the summer and I've also gotten used to having them around
How do your dc feel about it?
Where have they made friends?
They really enjoy it, they are a bit curious about school sometimes but other times they're sure they never want to go.
They've made friends through activities that they do, home ed groups, I have some friends with children at a similar age so they've become close
OP, do you find it really difficult emotionally? I would probably find the pressure of the responsibility a bit difficult to deal with but maybe that’s just me? Why did you choose the homeschooling route in the first place?
It is difficult sometimes, I worried for a long time it was what's best for them but It feels very natural and normal nowadays, it's just become part of our lives.
How do you cope with being around each other all day? Just wondering because it's summer holidays and I'm struggling with not having any childfree time right now! Do you get a break?
It has become normal to us I guess, it's all they really know but if they need a break they can go off to their bedrooms or go play outside and they often do which gives me a break
And how do you keep up with housework with your DC home all day?
I tend to do it in bits during the day, the kids have their own chores to do too so they help out
If your DC wanted to try school, would you let them?
I would

I'm just wondering... you say sometimes they're not up, or they're seeing friends, or they miss days. I just wonder how you instil the say... 9 to 5 work ethic if they haven't had that all their life.

This is not a criticism but I can't imagine how it happens that they got a job and have to adhere to strict times when they've never had to do that before.

I know I'm sounding critical, I really don't mean to be

They spend a lot of time travelling and learning through experiences

I'm interested in this, do you have examples? In what way are the experiences so different from the things most children do at the weekends/school holidays?

Rousette the 9-5 work ethic is an interesting idea as a taught concept. Do you really think this comes from out education system? Certainly not one I picked up at university.

Encouraging, developing self led learning, entrepreneurialism and resilience seem much more valuable life skills. I wish someone could tell me how to teach my children that ( I certainly won’t be relying on the state to do so).

@Roussette I’m not op but I thought I’d give some first hand experience wrt work ethic etc if that’s ok with the op. I was home educated until I was 16, with very little in the way of timetable, and after my GCSEs (all A*s for those concerned with academics) went straight into a 9-5 retail job over the summer before starting A levels. My work ethic was praised by my boss to the extent that I got a bonus at the end of the summer, and I have since returned each year. That’s blowing my own trumpet a bit, sorry, but only to illustrate the idea that we can and do succeed in the workplace. Socially I had very little problem fitting into sixth form college with my peers either. That’s not to say that’s necessarily the case for everyone, or that home ed can’t be done badly, but I think it can be very successful

My kids were home ed for two years after flexi schooling before that but have just gone into school.

OP do you know HE families where you worry a bit about the experience the kids are having. I think the beauty of HE is that each family does it in their own way and hesitate to judge but I did know one or two families where I had some doubts about their approach.

Interesting to hear from you both janeyre and sonrienta. I suppose it was just all the traditional way for me... alarm went, up they got, had to be somewhere at a certain time and I just imagined that instilled in my DCs something, but I really don't know what!

Encouraging, developing self led learning, entrepreneurialism and resilience seem much more valuable life skills
I get that, really I do

Kids having to get up tired and bugger off to school all day and work all day and be lumped in with folk and be forced to socialise with them.. is somat we just accept as the norm. That does not mean its right.

But hairspray... you have to do that in work too....

Do you think that there should be any checks on HE such as making sure that the children are receiving an adequate standard of education?

Or do you think parents are entitled to just get on with HE as they see fit?

Roussette I’m glad it was useful, I think maybe something else to mention is that it wasn’t like we never had to be anywhere at a certain time (Scouts / guides, music lessons, home ed clubs etc) so that wasn’t such a shock, just that we didn’t have a rigid timetable at home. I think this is a really common misconception with home ed, that if we don’t have a timetable we never learn to be places on time etc. Having said that we did encounter the odd will of the child, free flow parenting types who would literally sit around in the car park at the end of a session until their 4yo fancied getting in the car....