I’m a student Midwife AMA

[kw1091]

I can’t give medical advice (obviously) but would love to answer any curious questions you might have.

How are you finding the studying and placements and fitting everything in?

Do you see worrying things about the care women receive due to the under resourced and under staffed nhs?

Have you ever given birth yourself?

What's your career path - first job? Retrained?

@Troton it’s bloody hard work! We work 12.5 hour shifts while on placements blocks and uni blocks are 9-5 mon- fri but I love it. It feels so worth it. I enjoy labour care but I also love (most of) the other areas of Midwifery, in particular antenatal care. You have to be very organised and on top of everything. I also have a part time job in a pub in order to be able to afford to live. The hospital is often short staffed, I fortunately Haven’t seen anything massively worrying as in missed care but I have seen women wait a long time to be discharged or wait for pain relief etc.

@28282 I did a marketing degree originally and worked in marketing for 2 years - I hated it. I had always known I had wanted to be a midwife since I was very young but was never sure how to go about it/if I would be any good/was I willing to work such unsociable hours. But after the boss from hell I quit my job and went back to uni and I haven’t looked back.

Thanks again kw1091!

I had a freebirth. This did not go down well with my community midwife. At first she told me it was illegal (it isn't). Then she referred me to an obstetrician to try to get him to bully/scare me out of it. He kept saying how worried he was about placenta praevia etc despite me having no risk factors for anything, and living 5 minutes from the hospital. Then the hospital made me another appointment with him even though I said I didn't want one. And when I didn't attend the appointment I didn't make, they referred me to social services for "missing" it. So I had two visits from a social worker after my daughter was born, which was highly stressful.

Never mind the "care" we received when we went into hospital for the newborn health check three days after my (perfectly pleasant and smooth) freebirth. My daughter wasn't feeding well (tongue tie, which all the staff missed) and we were bullied into being admitted by threats of police from a paediatrician. Who claimed I wasn't making enough milk to feed my daughter because I was vegan. Said "care" consisted of the use of a breast pump, that I could have hired cheaply at home (the community midwives had already shown me how to express). And forcing us to stay there for a week without the comforts of home, or support available in the community and online. The tongue tie was diagnosed by a volunteer lactation consultant I called to the hospital, who referred us elsewhere to have it divided (it couldn't be done there).

I felt that staff were very prejudiced against anything out of the ordinary (despite my community midwife being pro-homebirth), and determined to make me fall in line with what they were more comfortable with. And when I did call my midwife to come after the birth, to check us over, she didn't come for 36 hours. So it doesn't seem like they really had our best interests at heart. It was never about the true level of risk; staff exaggerated, misrepresented, and outright lied to try to make me do what they wanted. This is not an uncommon experience amongst freebirthing women.

Our family was harmed far more by all that judgement and interference than if my informed decisions had just been respected. Although I was happy with the actual birth, the whole time around it was traumatising because of staff attitudes and actions.

Have you had information about freebirth on your course, and has it been made clear to you that it is a valid choice for a woman to make? I want to know if things are improving in this regard.

I’m guessing as a student midwife women are asked permission for you to be present/assist, has a woman ever declined?

@rosiejaune gosh that sounds a very difficult situation and I’m sorry that was your experience. I can’t comment on anything that happened to you as it wouldn’t be right. At my uni and hospital it is drilled into us that everything that happens is the woman’s choice from place of birth to whether the lights are switched on in the room. I am also hugely passionate about letting women know that everything is their choice. I have friends that have had babies that were advised to do things and they didn’t realise they could say no, this upsets me greatly. I hope that if you have more babies your experience is better.

@nellierose yes the women are always asked if a student can be present. I have had a couple of women decline which is absolutely fine, I’m never offended. Most women are more than happy though which is great for us.

Also..

Do you ever feel women aren’t treated completely with the respect they deserve? I found with both labours that when more staff came into the room I was always spoken about in 3rd person like I wasn’t there, which felt strange as it’s something you generally consider bad manners. I’ve also heard stories from friends about being given VEs etc without consent

How do you feel about maternal request cesearean sections with no medical reason other than mothers choice? This seems to often divide women on parenting groups so I often wonder how midwives personally feel on this topic

@nellierose I think Drs are a lot worse for this than midwives, in my experience anyway when I have noticed this happen me or the midwife speak up and speak to the woman as a reminder to the Dr that the woman is there an listening.
Consent is a HUGE thing, it’s another lesson that is drilled into us from the beginning. We have to ask “is it ok” to even touch a woman on the arm if she were upset. I personally haven’t seen a VE performed without consent but I don’t doubt that it happens sadly. I hope that with my practise I can make women feel comfortable at all times. In our notes if we write “VE performed” we have to write “with consent”.

That’s a really tough one. Seeing the recovery from section I wouldn’t advise anyone that doesn’t medically need one to have one just because the recovery is such a long process and can cause future complications but ultimately this conversation is beyond a midwife and for discussion with a consultant. I have been lucky enough to chaperone clinics where women are told they can’t have an elective section and they are very difficult and very emotional. Usually if it will cause emotional harm for the woman it is easier but still very rare that it occurs. I think the only option for these women is to go private. Often consultants will insist that a natural birth is tried for with a low tolerance for section and absolutely no instruments.

@kw1091 oh that’s interesting, I had no trouble being granted a ‘non-medical’ c-section for maternal choice. NICE guidelines do state that women should be allowed to make an informed choice to have one even if it isn’t medically needed. However, apparently around 25% of trusts in the UK don’t comply with these guidelines and won’t offer them. One option is to go to a different NHS hospital that does offer them if a woman can’t afford private. As it was I decided against the elcs after I was reassured I could decline forceps and have, as you say, a low tolerance for a c-section (previous traumatic birth with forceps that left me with PTSD) I went on to have a wonderful straightforward 2nd birth so was glad I hadn’t opted for the section. Saying it, the fact they were happy to offer me it did give me peace of mind as well as extra trust that they cared about my wishes if that makes sense.

I’m glad to hear how much you value consent, you sound like a great midwife

Hello!

I have just finished my training and am waiting for my PIN! It's so nice to see another student midwife on here, I actually feel a bit sad that I won't be one anymore!

Good luck with everything- you'll be amazing! Xxx

Hi op,
Thanks for this! I had to rather trying labour's. Hemorrhages both times. Second time was a placental abruption. Was rushed to hospital as went to the toilet and lost a load of blood after regular pains all night. When I arrived I remember the young midwife hand shaking as she monitored me. Next thing the room filled up and I was rushed to theater for an emcs. Thankfully we were OK, ds did have several minor issues, iugr and low blood sugars, and now has a diagnosis of autism. I'll always remember the midwife saying we were lucky to be here. Have you any experience of this? Are we lucky we made it?

@nellierose yeah my trust basically consider the application at a panel and the give a decision, I have my own thoughts on this lol. I’m pleased it went well for you that sounds like a lovely birth and yes I agree knowing you could have a section if you wanted probably helped you to relax.

@freckleface12 ahhhh congratulations!!! Thank you so much, I absolutely love it. Best of luck to you too xx

@taki that sounds very traumatic and I’m sad to hear that was your experience. I couldn’t possibly comment it’s not my remit. But I am pleased you are both well.

Thank you for this interesting thread. In your training how much do you cover about supporting women with a health condition or disability in pregnancy?

@elephantgrey so our first year is all about “normality” low risk women low risk births etc although realistically who is normal? Our second year is focused on health conditions, disability, social and emotional needs etc. We do have a good all over education of differing needs.

Thanks for answering my earlier questions, great thread...

Another one, are you trained to deal with being tactful or approaching something that might be awkward, e.g. A mum being very overweight?

I was very overweight for one of my pregnancies (bmi 31, so obese) and I was confused during my first antenatal appointment with my midwife at that time, because she didn't tell me why I needed certain things (like the GTT) and why I couldn't have other things I wanted. (I think attending the midwives rather than a consultant was one, birth pool was another). This was years ago, so long before I knew so much from online forums like mumsnet

Afterwards, I looked at my notes and it said that I was high(er) risk due to high bmi, and my weight was even highlighted with a highlighter. It mentioned something like a consultant's opinion/approval was needed.
I didn't know whether to be really upset, annoyed, or feel sorry for the midwife, who was obviously too embarrassed to tell me to my face

I start the degree next month and reading this is making me even more excited (and nervous!).

Inductions.

Why do they do them when something like two thirds end in section or instrumental birth anyway?

I know a few who have had them and all (including myself) found them to traumatic experiences. Why can't we just go straight to the section part if overdue?

My emergency section and recovery were a doddle compared to horror that is induction

@annabelle4 Yes BMI would be the reason for these things, for example ladies with a higher bmi can’t use the birthpool this is for safety more than anything. I am always transparent with these things I would say “due to your bmi we would like you to see...” rather than “because you’re overweight” if you see what I mean. We should be transparent about it, people with high bmi’s will know they have a high bmi I don’t think anyone doesn’t know they might be a bit over weight? That sounds really awkward for both you and the midwife. They should have been open with you.

@steamboat eeeekkkk! So exciting! You will love it. Good luck xx

@thereareflowers I wish I had the answer. I can’t advise on these things we aren’t allowed but it should always be remembered that you are free to say no to anything. Your body, your choice.

Thank you for answering my questions.
I just wanted to say you sound so positive and also really lovely and you’ve inspired me to look into midwifery further.
I’m a HCA at the moment but been wanting to do midwifery for a few years.
Going to wait till my two are older though they are 8 months and 3years!

Op I had a bad 2nd degree tear that reopened after stitching.
Ongoing problems with incontinence and mental health suffered terribly after dc1.
I want a c section with dc2. Currently pregnant.

Could you tell me more about the process for the panel agreeing elcs at your trust, and do I sound like I would be eligible?
I don’t know how a consultant can dictate a woman’s birth to her and force a vaginal birth simple because it will happen by default if they don’t intervene, in the face of her distress. I think it is absolutely abhorrent and I’m hoping My local trust have more compassion.

I can’t get my head around the fact that your hospital are apparently so pro womens choices for birth, women can even choose whether they have the light on. But something like the mode of delivery, that could impact on their health for the rest of their life, women may have no say.

I have found this really quite upsetting how blasé the trust you work for are to the impact of forcing a woman down a certain route. And also that they are wilfully ignoring nice guidelines.
I bet none of these rule makers and enforcers have seen (or lived!) the long term impact when a vaginal birth has gone wrong.

@Stargazing01 it can really depend on your hospital. Most hospitals stick to the NICE guidelines and will ‘allow’ you to choose a c-section without too much hassle, however there is a minority of NHS trusts who are very against maternal request elcs and won’t offer them. I saw someone share a picture of leaflet that one hospital (may have been Oxford) give to women at booking-in which basically says they will not do maternal request CS under any circumstances and that even a previous section is not good enough reason alone to choose an elcs So yeah, it’s one of those things that will really depend on your hospital’s stance.

@stargazing I couldn’t possibly comment as this is not something we have any say or involvement in.

I've done my degree in a field where I see terrible things. I've witnessed a full autopsy just to start etc. However an episiotomy just makes me go all cold down my back at the thought. Was this something you had to steel yourself against?

Even in my career there is something that gives you a little jitter and that's mine 😂